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BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:04:03 AM

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I've been on this site for a while, and We also have a profile up on a different kink/fetish/bdsm site as well.
And here's the question I have, and I apologize if it comes across as cold and mean.

What is the percentage of people (on this site in particular) are into bdsm out of necessity?

What I mean by that, is I wonder how many people on here have discovered that the ONLY way to be with someone is through d/s?

We have started to reach out into our local community here, and even communities that are a drive for us to get to. And we are shocked at what we are finding. Most women we have come across look the same. Nearly ALL of them are moderately to severely overweight, and honestly have looked like they have stopped caring. Hair that isn't styled or attempted to be styled....no makeup....and just looked like they rolled out of bed.

The men are no better, believe me. I've never seen so many men who don't take care of themselves, and don't do ANYTHING to make themselves presentable. Yet, they call themselves doms.

So, I know it sounds mean, but is bdsm (and especially in the community) mostly for people who CAN'T find someone on their own, and they use the d/s construct just to get attention that they couldn't almost PAY for in the vanilla world?

I know that looks aren't everything, and I am no super model myself. Hell, I could even stand to lose a few pounds as well. BUT, I at least put forth an EFFORT to make myself look as desirable as possible. When I'm looking for a sub/slave, I am FIRST going to be drawn to their appearance. Is that shallow? I don't care. It's NATURE!! I'm sick of people saying that looks don't matter. Appearances don't matter. That's horsecrap!! You don't go to a job interview looking like cat puke, so what gives?

So, I'm FIGHTING having the feeling that bdsm and the lifestyle are MOSTLY relegated to really old, really fat, and really unattractive people who couldn't get their dog to play with them otherwise.

Am I the only one frustrated out there?

There.

I feel lots better now.

:)

Derek

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:12:12 AM

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I quoted you because I have a feeling you'll try to backpeddle, after you realize what a fucking asshole this makes you look like.
Or so I hope.
I'm truly speechless, but mostly because the mods won't allow me to tell you what I think of you and your wife.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I wonder how many people on here have discovered that the ONLY way to be with someone is through d/s?

And we are shocked at what we are finding. Most women we have come across look the same. Nearly ALL of them are moderately to severely overweight, and honestly have looked like they have stopped caring. Hair that isn't styled or attempted to be styled....no makeup....and just looked like they rolled out of bed.

The men are no better, believe me. I've never seen so many men who don't take care of themselves, and don't do ANYTHING to make themselves presentable. Yet, they call themselves doms.

So, I know it sounds mean, but is bdsm (and especially in the community) mostly for people who CAN'T find someone on their own, and they use the d/s construct just to get attention that they couldn't almost PAY for in the vanilla world?

I know that looks aren't everything, and I am no super model myself. Hell, I could even stand to lose a few pounds as well. BUT, I at least put forth an EFFORT to make myself look as desirable as possible. When I'm looking for a sub/slave, I am FIRST going to be drawn to their appearance. Is that shallow? I don't care. It's NATURE!! I'm sick of people saying that looks don't matter. Appearances don't matter. That's horsecrap!! You don't go to a job interview looking like cat puke, so what gives?

So, I'm FIGHTING having the feeling that bdsm and the lifestyle are MOSTLY relegated to really old, really fat, and really unattractive people who couldn't get their dog to play with them otherwise.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to Dscouple7383)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:16:00 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
I only turned to bdsm 'cause I am teh hideous.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:17:04 AM

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This one especially.
And all "black people" can play basketball, and I'm trying to find a good jewish accountant.
You just generalized and insulted an entire community.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

So, I'm FIGHTING having the feeling that bdsm and the lifestyle are MOSTLY relegated to really old, really fat, and really unattractive people who couldn't get their dog to play with them otherwise.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to Dscouple7383)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:19:26 AM

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From: Kentucky
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Oh, I missed the part about the dog!
I'll have you know my dog loves me!
(I wear one of those meat dresses like Lady Gaga)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:21:03 AM

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Crissy, can you imagine the ppl at their local munches, etc, stumbling across this thread? I mean, they obviously wouldn't care, being above such a disgusting crowd of people.

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There is no spoon.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:21:33 AM

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Wow, what a lovely way to introduce yourself to the forums. You may think you are attractive, but your words give you away.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Dscouple7383)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:22:49 AM

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Well, just bless your lil pea picking heart.

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yep

(in reply to Dscouple7383)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:25:34 AM

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Joined: 11/19/2009
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well, i think that there are cases of people like that, as well as men looking for the easy fuck, its reality, although there are people, and my main experience is with people for whom the looks are important, they do dress up, and so on... The main complain i hear in Portugal at least is the lack of respect for the dress code.

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Non nobis, domine, sed domine Tuo da gloriam

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:26:59 AM

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Yo Derek, I look lived in cos I am, I don't care cos I'm not some metrosexual tosser. But I'll lay fucking odds that were we both to hit a nightclub (bearing in mind also that I'm older than you) I'd pull faster & higher up the league than you old son. Because I might be a bit ugly on the outside & I reckon I am, but I'm fucking gorgeous on the inside. I like women I don't sit in judgement cos she's had a couple of kids, those battle scars, those extra pounds are earnt the hard way. Some of us work long hours & don't have time for health clubs & spa's & facials & shit & some realise that this search for eternal youth & beauty is just to keep the unemployable in fucking clover.

Your premise is insulting & patronising simultaneously, well done. Your true colours are now firmly nailed to a mast for all to see.

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More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:28:07 AM

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I love you niney.
And that, Ladies, is a Man.

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There is no spoon.

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:29:17 AM

imdmb

Posts: 121
Joined: 9/3/2009
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.....wow

just.... wow....

i cant even bring myself to subject one of the smileys to this, and i always have a cute joke with a smiley mocking out whatever it is i want to mock out

_____________________________

this is all my own opinion! dont take it as anything but what i have experienced personaly! this is what has happened to me! results may vary!
im also usually half asleep when im on this forum...

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:29:58 AM

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It's just as well, the smilies are fat and unattractive.

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There is no spoon.

(in reply to imdmb)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:30:23 AM

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From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Crissy, can you imagine the ppl at their local munches, etc, stumbling across this thread? I mean, they obviously wouldn't care, being above such a disgusting crowd of people.

That's true. That would be very hurtful.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:30:47 AM

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Joined: 8/27/2008
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The only thing I can say about the OP is.

I'll add that one of the posters on this thread who will go unnamed but is canadian is a HELL of a lot hotter than your wife or gf or whoever that it.

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 1/15/2012 6:32:07 AM >

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(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:31:11 AM

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I honestly knew that I would get these kinds of responses. And no, I won't back peddle. I know it's not a popular stance to take, and it sounds very harsh. I share how I'm feeling, and I won't apologize for that.

Thing is, I KNOW there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. You are all entitled to have your opinion, and I won't insult you for having it.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:31:34 AM

Snort

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Joined: 5/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

The men are no better, believe me. I've never seen so many men who don't take care of themselves, and don't do ANYTHING to make themselves presentable. Yet, they call themselves doms.

No, it's just my style. That's how I differentiate myself from the crowd of younger buff dudes.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Dscouple7383)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:32:42 AM

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Joined: 7/29/2008
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Firstly DsCouple, I can't deny what your personal experience has been. It may be that you have somehow gotten these impressions based on your particular wonderings. I can tell you that they certainly aren't universal in their application.

I can tell you that in San Francisco and LA, and a few other places that I've been that Bdsm clubs and get togethers where populated by "the beautiful people" as much as by anybody. There are plenty of bondage Barbies in my neck of the world. However, since BDSM is more of a dynamic-based relationship, people who do not necessarily fit into the standard beauty ideal also are accepted and sometimes even preferred. But whatever your conclusions, understand that you are dealing with a very limited perception of a much larger whole. Certainly you don't think that your experiences in Central Florida are the indicative of what is happening in the scene in New York or Hollywood CA.

But either way, you should not try and define why other people are into BDSM based on your own limited experience and exposure. You can do a photo search on this site alone and verify that your impressions about BDSMers don't hold true.

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:33:23 AM

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I thought no I won't say it in this era of detente & seeing as it's VAA's birthday I shall restrain myself.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 6:34:04 AM

Posts: 2986
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Oh well. As long as you're not being insulting.
And actually, you're not so unique. There are a few other arrogant judgemental pricks that have started similar threads. You could probably start a BDSM offshoot, and filter people by hairstyle. Score!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I won't insult you for having it.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to Dscouple7383)

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