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Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 1:57:59 PM

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I was wondering if any of you have ever been "tested as a Dom" by a submissive partner? I'm curious because in my last two experiences, both submissives tried to test my "domly-ness" which I found fun(ny). So, has your "domly-ness ever been tested by a submissive, if so how?

RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:14:37 PM

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If you mean "wilfully disobedient", or just outright tellling me that I'm doing it wrong? Yep.

It makes me laugh, too, for as long as I pay attention to it. I'm really not into being defied. You're either serving me, or you're not.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:14:39 PM

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Yep. In my first D/s relationship, she decided she wanted out. So she challenged me repeatedly, over all kinds of stuff. I'm not sure why she wanted me to end it instead of her, but things fizzled shortly.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:17:06 PM

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I had a female sub for about 9 months. I gave her a set schedule, I gave her tasks, I gave her about a million and one reasonable guidelines that were meant to change the behavior she addressed having issues with.

Every. Single. Fecking. Step. She fought. She had excuses. She whined. She complained. She threw fits. She cried! She had tantrums that could have been in a competitive two year old event. I am NOT even kidding.

My suggestion: Spend a little more time in the psychoanalytical end of things. Listen to what is being said with out having been said, and watch for reactions to stimuli that can not be hidden.

Also, consider the caliber of woman you are dealing with. Is she younger, less experienced, insecure, less intelligent.

THEN- think about HOW you are doming her. Are you being clear in what you are asking, are you balancing reward and punishment.

And after all that, bear in mind that we live in a society that teaches us it is weak, or "not right" to be involved in any form of sexual deviance, so the "nurture" of the beast is to fight the desire of the body.

Be patient. Be persistent. Most importantly, be consistent. Do not give in to fits of temper when the sub messes up. Simply enforce whatever punishment, talk about the infraction, and move on.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:17:12 PM

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From what I've heard from my male Dom friends and from Master, it's usually the type of woman that has built up what her ideal relationship is from her fantasies.

Master says his ex constantly wanted to be "conquered" and it got old with him after awhile. Personally, I view it as game playing. It goes right along with "prove your devotion".

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 1/25/2012 2:54:55 PM >

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:17:21 PM

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Exactly, Steven. I expect a certain amount of sassiness, but outright SAM stuff, or just that in-your-face MAKE ME? No thanks. The door is over there, don't let it hit you on your way out.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:19:34 PM

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What do you mean tested your "domly-ness"? I dont even understand what that means. Examples please?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Giermo

I was wondering if any of you have ever been "tested as a Dom" by a submissive partner? I'm curious because in my last two experiences, both submissives tried to test my "domly-ness" which I found fun(ny). So, has your "domly-ness ever been tested by a submissive, if so how?

< Message edited by JanahX -- 1/25/2012 2:20:00 PM >

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:28:31 PM

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Yeah a couple times, but as others have said, I have no idea why you would keep someone prone to that around. Putting them in their place for a single scene can be sexy and entertaining, but after that they're gone. If I wanted to deal with something that constantly tried to find a weakness to exploit I'd buy a horse.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 2:41:18 PM

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I haven't taken the written test yet. But I aced the oral exam.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 3:26:14 PM

LillyoftheVally

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx

I had a female sub for about 9 months. I gave her a set schedule, I gave her tasks, I gave her about a million and one reasonable guidelines that were meant to change the behavior she addressed having issues with.

Every. Single. Fecking. Step. She fought. She had excuses. She whined. She complained. She threw fits. She cried! She had tantrums that could have been in a competitive two year old event. I am NOT even kidding.

I would have too.

To the OP I have pushed at boundaries from time to time, a kind of morbid curiosity but I have never tested dominance, if I didn't feel it then there would be no D/s there to push.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 3:57:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: areallivehuman

I haven't taken the written test yet. But I aced the oral exam.

I've flunked Both. Guess I'm gonna be a lamer the rest of my life.

BadOne

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 4:06:18 PM

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I think "testing" on either side is immature and ridiculous.

(in reply to Giermo)

RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 4:10:16 PM

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I'm not sure I'd call it "testing," but I've sassed back to get a funishment or two. All in good fun of course, not at all what xXLithiumXx described.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 4:48:05 PM

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If you mean that she wanted to see if you really walked the walk, as opposed to just talk the talk, then most people do that in the beginning.

If you assign rules, but don't check to see if they're being kept, then do expect the sub to stop following it also. After all, if it isn't important to you, why should it be to her?

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 5:53:23 PM

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Last Dom i lived with, i found out in less than a week, that if he said do something one way and i didnt agree, said 'do it yourself', he didnt react.

I quickly realised i could do as i pleased, and had moved out 8 months later.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 7:20:08 PM

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Willfully tested? No, but I take the view that life is a test, and how well you do depends on your actions. I treat all my relationships as tests in compatibility, but definitely not in measures of Dom-liness or sub-ishness

(in reply to frazzle)

RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 7:42:41 PM

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it's usually done either by new subs because they think that somehow the only way the person is a dom is if they hit, grab or yank them or something.

Or you get the other type who get off on "funishment" and will test and test and test the entire time you both are together. Some doms get off on this also and some don't.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 7:49:50 PM

MissImmortalPain

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Fr

Sure. I have known more than one sub that wished their were dom so they made it a willful habit of pushing buttons, throwing fits, making demands. Each behaved a lot like a child trying to figure out where a parent would really draw the line, and each came to find where that line is with me.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 7:52:59 PM

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Yes, once. I passed the test, meaning she packed her bags.

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RE: Being tested as a Dom - 1/25/2012 7:56:28 PM

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quote:

After all, if it isn't important to you, why should it be to her?

Because I told her to do it.

_____________________________

Dammit I'm mad

is

Dammit I'm mad

spelled backwards.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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