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RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/28/2012 10:26:32 PM

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For me; if it's a permanent change, something that affects how I see myself in a negative fashion, or something that takes less time to do than it would to revert back to a previous state, I refuse to do it. This leaves a TON of wiggle room for someone with a good enough imagination.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/28/2012 10:59:17 PM

CHF73

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Personally the only changes to her body I might ask to a submissive would be: shaving pubic hair, maybe hair lenght (and i mean gettin them long enough) and change the hair color (even for a short period of time). The reason for the first would be merely practical: i like going down on my sub and i hate needing to stop every 5 secons to pull hair from my mouth (lol) so if you are not willing to shave at least keep it very well trimmed in a tiny strip. I'm too practical to be interested into psychologigal BS as the "preeteen look" as i've seen written in this and others posts on the subject. About hair lenght the reasons would be that i like a woman hair to at least go down to her shoulders: i think it's more feminine. I also think that kind of lenght is not something excessive and it's never been a problem even in vanilla relationships. The reason for color might be just curiousity about seeing her with different color, not that hair color makes a real difference in liking someone or not but...
Every other possible body modification request would have to come from her and most probably i wouldn't like it, afterall if i didn't like her the way she was i wouldn't have chosen her to be my slave. Does it make any sense? I guess so.
On the other hand, if i should that her rquest to change is in fact a need, that she needs that to feel more secure about herself i would accept that, but probably it would mean i partially failed as a Master cause i wasn't able to make her feel comfortable the way she is. Something to work on more in the future.
Of course if she needed any change done to her connected to health issues (from simply losing or gaining weight to surgery) it wouldn't even be a subject of conversation...

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/29/2012 1:03:06 AM

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Like Focus said, we all change something about ourselves when we are in a relationship, bdsm, vanilla or whatever. Everyone does it as a gesture of love towards their partner.

I have changed something about myself each time I was with a different man that I really cared for. Sometimes I liked it, other times I wasn't so thrilled with it but I knew they liked it and that was what was important to me.

I have a sister who used to hate Renaissance fairs and always said she'd never be caught dead at one. Her boyfriend of over 10 years now, loved them and he's also a civil war re-enactor so my sister now loves both role plays to the point where she buys expensive gowns and all that.

I have another sister who whose hair had fallen out from alopecia but she knew her husband loved thick long hair so she went out and bought a real human hair wig that cost about $500 according to her. She would have been more than happy to just have some fabric wrapped around her head until it started growing back. But she did it because she loves her husband.

I love mushrooms. Master can't eat them so I never ever make anything at home that has mushrooms and I don't buy food when we go out to eat that has mushrooms in it just to be respectful of his allergy.

And Master has done things that he knows he won't normally do but he does it because he likes seeing me happy.

And that to me is the best satisfaction in the world.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to CHF73)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/29/2012 5:47:59 AM

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quote:

As politically incorrect or unpallatable as it is, the most successful at female conquest are great liars. <As I hunker down for the flak from that home truth> lol

If by conquest, you mean getting the chick to get naked, then my ex and my roommate are both extraordinarily successful. My ex is rather loose with the truth; my roommate quite sincere. However, as he is looking for a relationship, he might not think of himself as successful.

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Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/29/2012 4:27:40 PM

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I would probably agree to anything Master requested. He loves me the way I am but would like me to be healthy. He cares about my feelings so wouldn't ask anything unreasonable. The only 2 things I can think of that I would hate would be for me to quit dying my hair as its grey. And shaving my head would suck but yeah if that's what He wanted. I am His slave. Physical appearances are all superficial. They reflect who I am but I am not dependent upon them.

_____________________________

Take me to the edge.

Pain is....

(in reply to ServosCor)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/29/2012 4:32:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

This another one of these questions I dont understand!!

Why in hells name would you date someone you didn't like ??

If you want certain traits find someone with them.

And I don't understand this very vanilla attitude on a site like this. Wtf, date someone I don't like????

Hair is a trait? Or a deal breaker? If I want a girl with longer hair, I need to find one who already has it? Then there's that other hair I mentioned.... Not having X-ray vision, wellll...., you see the obvious problem that might present, no?

I mentioned this general negative attitude to (minor) change in my second post (2 middle aged subs I knew) and am now seeing it all over this thread.

What does "submissive" even mean to the errrrr...., more mature subs?

Focus.

I agree with you, Focus. (If I'm understanding you correctly.) If he wants me to change something...then I change it. The line would be at something that would make my public life more difficult - such as a tattoo on the face or something else that I couldn't even imagine - or, obviously, if it will affect my health. But if he wants my body to look a certain way, my hair to look a certain way, my nails, a discreet tattoo....then I do it. That's not offensive to me.

I will admit...surgery to change the way I look, I would not do. But two things - first, for me, I would put having unnecessary surgery under the "affect my health" column. And second, I don't believe I would be compatible with someone who would look for me to have elective surgery in the first place, so I think surgery - and tattoos - are moot points.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/29/2012 5:24:16 PM

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i have also done what ever He wanted as long as it did not cause problems with our public life or would harm my children s since of safety or emotional needs, as this came first. W/we always discussed new ideas together in open communication to see if it would be something W/we both would like to explore together, as long as it did not harm our health or our personnel reputations outside of our D/s 27/7 relationship. personally small things like little changes never bothered me ( hair color/ or even length of hair/ or even shaving off hair on the genital area). so have to admit that would do most things within reason- but would do as He wished- yep always to please Him as He would do the same for me.

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/30/2012 2:10:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I agree with you, Focus. (If I'm understanding you correctly.) If he wants me to change something...then I change it.

The line would be at something that would make my public life more difficult - such as a tattoo on the face or something else that I couldn't even imagine - or, obviously, if it will affect my health. But if he wants my body to look a certain way, my hair to look a certain way, my nails, a discreet tattoo....then I do it. That's not offensive to me.

I will admit...surgery to change the way I look, I would not do. But two things - first, for me, I would put having unnecessary surgery under the "affect my health" column. And second, I don't believe I would be compatible with someone who would look for me to have elective surgery in the first place, so I think surgery - and tattoos - are moot points.

This is pretty much the level of changes (if any) I'm talking about. And certainly I'm not one for drawing undue outside attention to our personal dynamic, most especially anything that may be construed as embarrassing or humiliating to my girl.

Given the age we live in, the most likely changes I'd wanna address is that I don't like body piercings AT ALL and I don't like women looking like paedophile bait "down there". You can add tattoos to the list, too, but since they are 'forever', all the girl needs to know is that there won't be anymore while I own her.

Women's hair is fashionably timeless (long or short) but as an older man myself, long hair on middle-aged women is symbollic as much as fashion, and I want it long. I've seen it too many times - that as younger women with long hair gradually settle into a happy little family rut (talking over many years, here), the flowing locks eventually become some trendy (read: easy maintenance) 1950's boy's "short back n sides" cut. It's like they don't care anymore, that their man has been successfully landed so she can now let her appearance slide a bit here and a bit there....

I want her being conscious of her appearance and especially how that projects to me; that there is no "happy little rut" for the outside world to perceive. Then there's a practical sense; that I like handling and manoeuvreing the girl by her hair and consequently find a simple ponytail incredibly sexy on an adult woman. Hell, out n about I notice and am drawn to ponytails in a similar way to those rare occasions I see a woman wearing a necklace that may (or may not) be a covert collar - they are THAT sexy.

So I come to my old stumbling block of truthfully answering questions I'm asked. My solution is simple - I don't bother looking through fem/sub profiles anymore. I'm sticking to real life and have recently spotted the most interesting set of eyes (and matching mannerisms) I've seen outside of a munch. Her hair could be longer, but.... ;) The only subs I talk to online now are those few who contact me, first.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Kaliko)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/30/2012 8:05:45 PM

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We live in a world awash in hateful images of women.
Women are told to hate their hair, their weight,their breasts, their lips, their butts, their legs, their eyes, lips, noses and even the most intimate places are objects of cosmetic bleaching and sculpting.

I am not sure what purpose is served by ladling more scorn and insecurity on this reeking pile of neuroses.

My biggest struggle has been to get my girl to love her body as it is, since a woman is more able to be enthusiastically erotic when she is comfortable in her own skin.

So my list of modifications would be no hair coloring, minimal makeup, minimal jewelry.

(in reply to ServosCor)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 9/30/2012 8:57:07 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I am a take me as I am. Outside of weightloss which I want, I refuse to change anything about my body. Unless maybe I wanted to and he was supportive and encouraged that.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 9/30/2012 9:03:48 PM >

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to ServosCor)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/1/2012 12:54:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex
My biggest struggle has been to get my girl to love her body as it is, since a woman is more able to be enthusiastically erotic when she is comfortable in her own skin.

So my list of modifications would be no hair coloring, minimal makeup, minimal jewelry.

Damn, I think I'm in love.

Pam

_____________________________

[link] www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlvDnbFOkYY [/link]

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/2/2012 8:08:32 AM

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i trust in my Dom to make only choices for me that are good and keep me healthy in mind and body... so i think i can say that i would do whatever he asks of me.

(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/2/2012 3:55:32 PM

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quote:

We live in a world awash in hateful images of women.
Women are told to hate their hair, their weight,their breasts, their lips, their butts, their legs, their eyes, lips, noses and even the most intimate places are objects of cosmetic bleaching and sculpting.

Kana here.
Naomi Wolf called that the Iron Maiden trap.
Western women are deluged with (Usually airbrushed or photoshopped) depictions of what they are supposed to be. Thank media, advertising, Hollywood, just a bunch of hoohah.
The implied message is that if you ain't young and hot, you ain't got any worth.
But hey, look at the bright side. Magazines like GQ are now in the process of laying the same trip on men.
And it's all done in the name of the mighty dollar.

As usual, Tyler Durden CALLED it straight:
"Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables – slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to lapgirl)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/2/2012 9:52:44 PM

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Great! Now we can look forward to the day when men bend over at the gym and ask, "Hey Bubba, do you think I need to get my butthole bleached? Be honest now!"

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/3/2012 11:23:14 AM

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You're not too far off the mark AnimusRex

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/3/2012 11:36:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
... to change your body, if your Dominant wanted it? For the purposes of this argument, lets ignore any money or health concerns. Would it matter very much if the person's ideal body image were quite different from your own? Would you lose, or gain, 40 pounds if they wanted it? Dye your hair? Shave your hair? Plastic surgery?

To the best of my knowledge she'd be willing to do all these things. It's worth noting, however, that there are price tags attached to making Carol "uglier" in her own eyes. I'd be more likely to change how she saw "beauty" first and then make the changes.

quote:

For dominants, have you ever required your sub to change their body image?

Yes... moreso when we were vanilla because that's when we were knocking off the rough edges of our relationship. And it's certainly gone both ways with us. I'm WAY more bohemian than I was when we met. She's way more feminine. We have both adapted in order to be more ideal for our partner. For us, at least, that's how ANY relationship works. If I didn't want to care about someone else's concerns and needs I'd be single.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/10/2012 2:22:00 PM

slave4U2bcumFem

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Change is constant. Change is inevitable. Change is undenyable. Its only flesh anyways. Not affecting the Soul. Actually for those like myself who have Gender Identity Disorder, who's Soul is not matching the Gender of their body, its an entirely different issue. I was born a boy, yet I've had "Pussy Envy" for years. I've felt for a long time that I should have been born a girl instead. I have been fascinated, infatuated, enthraled & in Love with the Female form for my whole life. I have always viewed Women as Superior & Dominant & I have Loved, Admired, Adored & worshipped Women, Femininity & all things Beautiful inside within a womans mind heart & soul - since I was about 13. I'm.35 & since I was 30, I've wanted to successfully accomplish what I've fantasized about since I was 21. To go through anything & everything - whatever it takes, to become a woman myself, yet I acknowledge that I will not attempt being Dominant at any time. I know my Role & that is of a Slave. Nonetheless, for those, like me who desire to accomplish Forced Womanhood, Transitioning from CrossDressing to Transvestitism, to Transexuality (pre-op) & Transgendered (Post-op) Surgery is a must. There is electrolysis for starters & then hormones. The pills are the cheap & easy route, but I think all of us who are "Gurls" would prefer the shots. Most likely because its faster & more potent due to it being human estrogen & not plant based. There,is also the matter of weight loss for some. Aside from that breast implants may,be. Prefered,over trying to grow breasts with various hormone based products, although personally ill take my chances with hormones not fake boobs. Yet the other serious surgical requirements for trying to be "stealth" & passive, are Facial Feminization surgery which primarily involves alterations to the jaw cheekbones & sometimes chin. There is also the Trachial shave so we do not have the obvious "addams apple". Some of us TGurls also have to deal with shaved heads & wear wigs ifto much balding had occured when we were men. Which is fine if you can deal with wig maintenance. But the grand finale of the "total package" is the Sexual Reassignment Surgery(SRS) which basicly means our,penis becomes our vagina. That must cost more than all of the previously mentioned surgical procedures Combined. All together though any Trans community member definately has to change to be what they desire, & of course if that is the wish of the Misstress or Dom then at least it is a mutual Dream to come true if the $ is there for it to become a reality.

(in reply to ServosCor)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/10/2012 4:11:04 PM

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Eeek...Wall o text

If you edit it into paragraphs more people will respond.

(in reply to slave4U2bcumFem)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/10/2012 7:28:18 PM

obis

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From: Austin, TX, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
I've seen it too many times - that as younger women with long hair gradually settle into a happy little family rut (talking over many years, here), the flowing locks eventually become some trendy (read: easy maintenance) 1950's boy's "short back n sides" cut. It's like they don't care anymore, that their man has been successfully landed so she can now let her appearance slide a bit here and a bit there....

I want her being conscious of her appearance and especially how that projects to me; that there is no "happy little rut" for the outside world to perceive. Then there's a practical sense; that I like handling and manoeuvreing the girl by her hair and consequently find a simple ponytail incredibly sexy on an adult woman. Hell, out n about I notice and am drawn to ponytails in a similar way to those rare occasions I see a woman wearing a necklace that may (or may not) be a covert collar - they are THAT sexy.

I see the same thing, Focus. I generally make it clear up front that it won't be allowed. Unless it's Natalie Portman, she can pull it off.

I consider it my prerogative to decide any purely cosmetic issues -- what she wears, makeup, jewelry, hair length, hair color, body grooming, nail style and color, etc. None of that will harm her, and she would trust that I would never make a choice that would make her look unprofessional or an object of ridicule.

If she doesn't trust me to choose her hair color, why the hell would she let me chain her to a wall and whip her? You're going to let someone violate every orifice in your body, but you draw the line at being told to shave your armpits? I can order you to drop to your knees and suck my dick like a five dollar whore, but if I order you to trim your nails shorter that will be a command too far?

Any permanent changes would be discussed and agreed upon. One of her duties is to care for herself, and that includes preventing me from making decisions that harm her physically or psychologically. It's possible I'd want to get a tattoo or piercing on her, but thats a conversation that would take weeks or months to conclude.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: How far would you be willing to go... - 10/11/2012 7:30:10 AM

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I have more than a bit of a bimboification fetish. BSBs hair got darker and she dresses.more gothic while she kept.the hooks in. i insist on red nails. hair styles of course. i often do some posture training. Piercings of my choice are.very hot but i hate tattoos. One of my fantasies revolves around my woman waking up with the boobs i selected being a complete surprise. Not a deal breaker but hot wank fodder.

A fun thing to do is take someone for a makeover and tell the artist what you want.

(in reply to obis)

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