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RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 6:18:01 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

Is that what the CM forums are about? Belittling and dismissing the concerns of confused, emotional submissives who fully admit to being inexperienced? Nice ambassadorship of the lifestyle.


No, but it is about engaging with the folks responding to you, instead of whining like a brat when people disagree with you. I actually thought the advice she was getting wasn't all that bad. If she is nearing middle age and she doesn't know when to step away from a relationship that is sucking the life out of her, there's very little we can do for her here.

Also, Kana is pretty nice and gives great advice. When you're around the boards a bit more -- and your vanilla cone goes away -- you'll get a feel for people's personalities. Everyone ain't gonna sugarcoat a pile of shit for ya.

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 6:18:18 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

I'm going to make a note to review Kana's posting history. With all the folks here rushing to his defense he must have some damn fine qualities, but from this thread it's hard for a newbie to think him anything but a 24-karat horse's ass.

Is that what the CM forums are about? Belittling and dismissing the concerns of confused, emotional submissives who fully admit to being inexperienced? Nice ambassadorship of the lifestyle.


Oh, hells bells and for fuck sake! All it was was a suggestion for a mouthful of cock. I dont have a dick either and I found it amusing. Hardly a reason to get all butthurt or plate an equine's derrière in gold.

This, like the rest of life, is filled with people of differing communication styles. No one said I had to like what is told to me, but if I post my thoughts in a public venue and ask for replies...then I am opening myself to ALL communication styles...not just the ones that make me feel all warm and gooshy inside. At nearly 40 years old, I am capable of putting on my big girl panties and taking what comes.



< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 5/28/2013 6:20:13 PM >

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 6:28:38 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Oh, hells bells and for fuck sake! All it was was a suggestion for a mouthful of cock. I dont have a dick either and I found it amusing. Hardly a reason to get all butthurt or plate an equine's derrière in gold.


Had I been given that offer, instead of , I would have , then

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 7:24:30 PM   
HappilyMiserable


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/16/2013
Status: offline
quote:

Not all men feel the need to act like a white knight to ride to a damsel's distress.


Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.
Though I think the assignment of the gender roles in your metaphor is inapt. I would say rather the strong should feel a noble inclination to protect the vulnerable. In this instance a vulnerable person who happened to be a female submissive asked for help. The response with one or two exceptions was a feeding frenzy of callous mockery poorly disguised as bluntness.

To the OP: This isn't the guy for you. If he is transgressing your limits repeatedly and without regard for you, any agreement between you is broken. Leave. It will hurt dreadfully for a time. Then less. If you do not, you will not have the chance to find someone more worthy of your submission.


_____________________________

That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
Henry David Thoreau

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 7:25:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
Darling, if you are so sensitive that you can't just laugh at what others say instead of taking everything everyone says to heart, then I seriously suggest that you turn off your computer....seriously. The internet is not the place for you. If you think it's bad here I'd hate for you to visit some other internet sites that are a hundred times worse.

So how do you survive in the real world if the internet makes you cry?

ETA: As for Him being a 24 karat horse's ass: yes, yes he is and what an ass it is.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 5/28/2013 7:29:27 PM >


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Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 8:44:14 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.
Though I think the assignment of the gender roles in your metaphor is inapt.


Pardon me, I believe you meant 'not apt'. Or 'inept.'

This teachable moment brought to you by the vocabulary police. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 8:55:44 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

quote:

Not all men feel the need to act like a white knight to ride to a damsel's distress.


Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.

Predators love playing White Knight, dude. It's their shtick. Seriously, you don't know what you're talking about and telling all the Newbisives that only quality men will try to rescue them does more harm than good. You're just making it easier for the 'bad guys' to get their hooks into vulnerable folks.

Giving folks a false sense of security ain't what this boards about, dude. Never has been.




_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 9:01:10 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

I'm going to make a note to review Kana's posting history. With all the folks here rushing to his defense he must have some damn fine qualities, but from this thread it's hard for a newbie to think him anything but a 24-karat horse's ass.

I always think Kana's always just being humourous. Alot of outrageous things he says just makes me burst out in laughter. When you see enough of his posts, there is a pattern. I think it's just his style of humour. (Although maybe it's not, but it's still funny to me) He has a lovely sub who is deeply contented and treated well with him, speaks well of him as a dom.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 9:17:19 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
If anything I'd say from my short time here... Kana is merely a straight shooter with a twisted sense of humour, I've yet to read any malice into any of his posts and actually I've found him rather smart and genuine for a sexual deviant.



_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 10:18:54 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

But in response to your statement, yes, Kana does have great qualities. I would always prefer real talk than sugar coating bullshit. But that's just me knowing him from the forums.


Hell's bells; by default, this kinda puts me in the opposing "sugar coating bullshit" corner...!

Have I somehow..... slipped? Should I get an agent?

Ummm....., fuck!

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 10:29:03 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

I'm going to make a note to review Kana's posting history. With all the folks here rushing to his defense he must have some damn fine qualities, but from this thread it's hard for a newbie to think him anything but a 24-karat horse's ass.

Is that what the CM forums are about? Belittling and dismissing the concerns of confused, emotional submissives who fully admit to being inexperienced? Nice ambassadorship of the lifestyle.


Perhaps you're unfamiliar with the word "clique"? 'Cause there was a bit of that going on here earlier.

Lol, just as you're finding out that there's now a lot more of it going on here.

I freakin' hate cliques - got this signature line....

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 11:43:46 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

quote:

Not all men feel the need to act like a white knight to ride to a damsel's distress.


Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.
Though I think the assignment of the gender roles in your metaphor is inapt. I would say rather the strong should feel a noble inclination to protect the vulnerable. In this instance a vulnerable person who happened to be a female submissive asked for help. The response with one or two exceptions was a feeding frenzy of callous mockery poorly disguised as bluntness.


You are off base, Happily Miserable. "White Knight" spelled backwards is "tool".

I'm not saying it shouldn't be done. I'm saying it shouldn't be done automatically.

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 5/28/2013 11:44:28 PM >


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/28/2013 11:58:55 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

But in response to your statement, yes, Kana does have great qualities. I would always prefer real talk than sugar coating bullshit. But that's just me knowing him from the forums.


Hell's bells; by default, this kinda puts me in the opposing "sugar coating bullshit" corner...!

Have I somehow..... slipped? Should I get an agent?

Ummm....., fuck!

Focus.



Not at all. I'm just strictly speaking on what I like.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 12:09:42 AM   
inchargeinca


Posts: 25
Joined: 5/26/2013
Status: offline


quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

Is that what the CM forums are about? Belittling and dismissing the concerns of confused, emotional submissives who fully admit to being inexperienced? Nice ambassadorship of the lifestyle.


Honestly, if you can't stand having anonymous strangers call you an idiot, you shouldn't be asking for advice on public web sites. Cause if you ask people what they think, they'll tell you, and they won't put a nicey-nice filter on it.

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 4:15:50 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

quote:

Not all men feel the need to act like a white knight to ride to a damsel's distress.


Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.
Though I think the assignment of the gender roles in your metaphor is inapt. I would say rather the strong should feel a noble inclination to protect the vulnerable. In this instance a vulnerable person who happened to be a female submissive asked for help. The response with one or two exceptions was a feeding frenzy of callous mockery poorly disguised as bluntness.

To the OP: This isn't the guy for you. If he is transgressing your limits repeatedly and without regard for you, any agreement between you is broken. Leave. It will hurt dreadfully for a time. Then less. If you do not, you will not have the chance to find someone more worthy of your submission.



Wow, you just want to dig yourself a bigger hole, huh?

Kana is far from a "24-karat asshole," at least in the manner you speak of. Nor is he a "dick" in the manner the OP speaks of. How do I know? Because if he was, littlewonder would never have given him the time of day, let alone stick around for....I think it is 10 years?

Your whole concept of what people should do matches your description of yourself in your profile, that of a 9 year old boy. This is real life, not the fantasy world of a child where people will coddle you and make you think the world is all daydreams and lollipops. Christ on a cracker, you don't even know the difference between a dominant and a top.

Contrary to what Focus said, we aren't a "clique," nor are we a bunch of stupid people in a large group, like his sig line suggests. However, many of us have been around here for a very long time and we know each other, even if only on this site. Feeling some kind of allegiance to someone does not make you a click. It's more a matter of defending who someone is to someone who hasn't a clue.

As for the OP, she doesn't need rescuing, nor was she insulted by anyone until she made her comment. As Oside said, when someone is 38 years old and is having difficulty with such a simple relationship problem, they need to be told straight out, not coddled with a bunch of fluffy bullshit. She was told things aren't going to get better and to dump him. Did we pretty much do it with a "Dr. Phil" approach? Sure. But there is nothing wrong with that, especially when stating what should be obviously to anyone over the age of 25.

As for you? Grow up. A kinky internet message board is not suitable to 9 year olds.

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 4:24:16 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLogansSub

thank u to focus and to TNDommeK. as for kana u r exactly the proof to me that a lot of men get into Dom lifestyle just so they can be controlling, abusive, dicks to women. not for the pleasure or the pleasure of pleasing each others fantasies. I was warned of this when I got into the lifestyle, that many men have no idea what and art form BDSM is and what a great responsibility it is to care for their subs and to keep them safe emotionally as well as physically. The subs should be held in high regard for choosing the lifestyle not abused in a negative way or used to get to other women. Thank u kana for helping me realize that i will have to be extra careful if ever taking on another Dom that He knows what a real Dom is supposed to act like and not choose another like Him or you, women haters



It was a joke ffs, maybe you should start by lightening up a bit.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to SirLogansSub)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 4:30:52 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLogansSub
another Dom that He knows what a real Dom is supposed to act like

A genuine dominant does not act.


_____________________________

"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

(in reply to SirLogansSub)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 4:33:07 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

quote:

Not all men feel the need to act like a white knight to ride to a damsel's distress.


Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.


I don't think that being a "white knight" to try and rescue/fix/coddle disfunctional people is, really, that healthy of a quality. It rarely works, because change has to come from within to be successful, so you're just setting yourself up for heartache and martyrdom again and again. And that's only if you actually have good intentions, and aren't just looking to pry on people's disfunctions.

(in reply to HappilyMiserable)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 6:06:20 AM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

If anything I'd say from my short time here... Kana is merely a straight shooter with a twisted sense of humour, I've yet to read any malice into any of his posts and actually I've found him rather smart and genuine for a sexual deviant.



Aries, you described Kana perfectly. Absolutely nailed it!

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Need Adivice ASAP - 5/29/2013 6:37:03 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
Wooo! I still got it.

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Duskypearls)
Profile   Post #: 80
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