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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

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Not all men feel the need to act like a white knight to ride to a damsel's distress.

Indeed not. Only the ones of quality.
Though I think the assignment of the gender roles in your metaphor is inapt. I would say rather the strong should feel a noble inclination to protect the vulnerable. In this instance a vulnerable person who happened to be a female submissive asked for help. The response with one or two exceptions was a feeding frenzy of callous mockery poorly disguised as bluntness.

To the OP: This isn't the guy for you. If he is transgressing your limits repeatedly and without regard for you, any agreement between you is broken. Leave. It will hurt dreadfully for a time. Then less. If you do not, you will not have the chance to find someone more worthy of your submission.

Wow, you just want to dig yourself a bigger hole, huh?

Kana is far from a "24-karat asshole," at least in the manner you speak of. Nor is he a "dick" in the manner the OP speaks of. How do I know? Because if he was, littlewonder would never have given him the time of day, let alone stick around for....I think it is 10 years?

Your whole concept of what people should do matches your description of yourself in your profile, that of a 9 year old boy. This is real life, not the fantasy world of a child where people will coddle you and make you think the world is all daydreams and lollipops. Christ on a cracker, you don't even know the difference between a dominant and a top.

Contrary to what Focus said, we aren't a "clique," nor are we a bunch of stupid people in a large group, like his sig line suggests. However, many of us have been around here for a very long time and we know each other, even if only on this site. Feeling some kind of allegiance to someone does not make you a click. It's more a matter of defending who someone is to someone who hasn't a clue.

As for the OP, she doesn't need rescuing, nor was she insulted by anyone until she made her comment. As Oside said, when someone is 38 years old and is having difficulty with such a simple relationship problem, they need to be told straight out, not coddled with a bunch of fluffy bullshit. She was told things aren't going to get better and to dump him. Did we pretty much do it with a "Dr. Phil" approach? Sure. But there is nothing wrong with that, especially when stating what should be obviously to anyone over the age of 25.

As for you? Grow up. A kinky internet message board is not suitable to 9 year olds.

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ORIGINAL: Focus50

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ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

I'm going to make a note to review Kana's posting history. With all the folks here rushing to his defense he must have some damn fine qualities, but from this thread it's hard for a newbie to think him anything but a 24-karat horse's ass.

Is that what the CM forums are about? Belittling and dismissing the concerns of confused, emotional submissives who fully admit to being inexperienced? Nice ambassadorship of the lifestyle.

Perhaps you're unfamiliar with the word "clique"? 'Cause there was a bit of that going on here earlier.

Lol, just as you're finding out that there's now a lot more of it going on here.

I freakin' hate cliques - got this signature line....

Focus.

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

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ORIGINAL: Focus50

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ORIGINAL: HappilyMiserable

I'm going to make a note to review Kana's posting history. With all the folks here rushing to his defense he must have some damn fine qualities, but from this thread it's hard for a newbie to think him anything but a 24-karat horse's ass.

Is that what the CM forums are about? Belittling and dismissing the concerns of confused, emotional submissives who fully admit to being inexperienced? Nice ambassadorship of the lifestyle.

Perhaps you're unfamiliar with the word "clique"? 'Cause there was a bit of that going on here earlier.

Lol, just as you're finding out that there's now a lot more of it going on here.

I freakin' hate cliques - got this signature line....

Focus.

Pft.... what clique do I belong too? I disagree with you, with Kana, with lilwonder, with bita... with many people on this thread.

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I call em as I see em. You dont have to agree. But dont try to insist that my support of Kana is because I am part of a clique and feel I must stand up for my friends. I have few "friends" on these boards.

That was me calling one as I saw it. I see you exercised your right not to agree, too - I'm good with that. :)

Internet "friends"....? Meh, I don't feel the need to brag about it but.... lol Still, does that mean you'd be offended if I said I like you?

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Thats what beign a bitch is all about

Lol, I don't feel the need to mistake your typo for "benign".

For the record, HappilyMiserable owns the "24-karat" but he certainly wasn't the first in this thread (ahem) to suggest Kana was behaving like a horse's arse. If you can imagine new meat making a softer target for a mob/clique/bandwagon/whatever....?

Focus.

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ORIGINAL: Kana

Is this still going on?
For crying out loud.
1-I ain't in no clique. I hate cliques. I ain't a joiner (But I'm a terrific team of one). Fuck, I don't even like most people. I have people I like on here. People I don't. People I agree with and others I don't. But I try to approach each new thread, each new post with fresh eyes and not take sides or act like a sycophant, instead judge each post on it's own merits and comment accordingly (For better or for worse, one might add), regardless of who posted it. Because in the end, it's about the principle being discussed, not who says what, and that's really all that's important.

Heads-up - turns out you just described me. 'Cept maybe that "terrific team of one" bizzo...?

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2-Let's not try and defend me. I'm a big boy, fully capable of defending myself. I bailed from the thread so it wouldn't get derailed, turn into something about me. Fuck.

Yep, you bailed. Then the thread became about HappilyMiserable and how (apparently) newbies aren't allowed to call it as they see it. So it isn't all about you, eh?

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3-Why not talk about something of worth...like my comment about how we deal with "newbies" and inane questions, the very different approaches, maybe even have an honest dialogue. You know, like engage in a forum.
Oh yeah, fuck, I forgot-this is the net-that shits hard core against the law

You don't think that's what just transpired? That two relative newbie's got jumped on, not just the OP? Some see the white knight (*gasp*). The only thing I hate more than that is a fuckin' bully! And that's exactly how it comes across when a regular takes liberties at a newbie's expense - smiley face notwithstanding. And big surprise that bully's usually have an entourage of backslappers egging them on....

Me, I'm also a big boy who can look after himself blah blah.... And I generally like and respect your posts and general sense of humour. But I'm a regular, too; been here even longer than you! And I see waaaay too many newbies on these forums who become "one post wonders" then vanish. And I wonder if the "boots n all" attitude you came at this newbie OP with isn't part of the problem. Not everyone advocates teaching a learner to swim by tossing them in at the deep end.

Kana, if you came at me with that attitude, you wouldn't need no lame smiley-face excuse to explain it away. Because you wouldn't need any excuse and I'd still have shrugged it off with a chuckle. That's the difference between the old and the new and yeah, I think you fucked it up in this thread because the OP is a newbie. The smiley-face secret code for chrissakes...!

Now be that big boy and stick your chin out.

Focus.

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Perhaps "bandwagon" is a better fit for you and the rest of the cavalry charging to the defense?

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That was me calling one as I saw it. I see you exercised your right not to agree, too - I'm good with that. :)

Internet "friends"....? Meh, I don't feel the need to brag about it but.... lol Still, does that mean you'd be offended if I said I like you?

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Lol, I don't feel the need to mistake your typo for "benign".

For the record, HappilyMiserable owns the "24-karat" but he certainly wasn't the first in this thread (ahem) to suggest Kana was behaving like a horse's arse. If you can imagine new meat making a softer target for a mob/clique/bandwagon/whatever....?

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Pft.... what clique do I belong too? I disagree with you, with Kana, with lilwonder, with bita... with many people on this thread.

I call em as I see em. You dont have to agree. But dont try to insist that my support of Kana is because I am part of a clique and feel I must stand up for my friends. I have few "friends" on these boards.

Thats what beign a bitch is all about

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Internet "friends"....? Meh, I don't feel the need to brag about it but.... lol Still, does that mean you'd be offended if I said I like you? [/font][/size][/color]

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ORIGINAL: Kirata


Farther back in this thread you observed, correctly though with no particular relevancy, that I don't spend as much time in the BDSM sections as I do in P&R.

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So, of course, I'm pleased to see that your tactics don't work any better over here. But I'm curious to know when you intend to start 'shrugging off with a chuckle' the reactions you're getting. Will that be anytime soon?

Tactics? Maybe in your mind....

And you think I'm under siege here? Circling the proverbial wagons? Man you're shooting wide by light years with that call. If you could only see the smile on my dial right now....

Focus.

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Im not happy anymore. Im a very good sub when Im happy but I feel things r too one sided here. Am I just not being a good sub or do I not have some boundaries that should be respected? Looking for advice from other Doms because He is my first and only but I have read up and feel He is not adhering to His role

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

rofl ... just because you dont agree with the assessment of Kana doesnt make the rest of us on a bandwagon. I have the ability to have a snarky political discussion with someone (DS springs to mind quickly) and a nice conversation in mail. How about you?

I didn't know DS even spoke "snark"! DarkSteven, yeah?

I s'pose I've got K. Of course, he doesn't actually discuss anything.... Guess yours is bigger - THIS TIME.

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Omg... highly insulted... enraged... furious... awww... you are such a cutie!

Note to self; the girl likes the scenic route....

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It should have been being... I do that sometimes with my letters when I type... I type with 5 fingers... lol... the man laughs when he watches me.

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First, there is no need, thats what "hide" is for. If someone is that thin skinned that they cant take criticism, they should hide the offender or delete their account. Im not here to coddle anyone and I dont expect anyone to coddle me.

Second, I dont like the immediate "victim" act either. When you start a thread, you open yoruself up to all sorts of criticisms from everyone. Its the nature of the beast. What I saw was someone getting butt hurt over being told to suck a cock. Had she been in her early 20's, I might could see it. At 38? come on!

Third, I take huge exceptions at anyone being labeled a fake simply because of a single post. In other words, had she said that about you, my reaction would have been the same. I read the exchange and was hoping Ron would pipe up... lol

And, fourth, she is now firmly indoctrinated into the world of CM. She wont be coddled here. She knows she is expected to own her words and her attitude. The idea is laughable that anyone would take Kana's post seriously.

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I had the same indoctrination when I first came here. I made a joke, it was taken seriously, and I got land blasted. I could have tucked tail and ran. I am made of stronger stuff. I made my apologies and made amends with those I offended. Thats sorta what you do when entering a new group. Not sound the battle cry and beg for some white knight syndrome freedom fighter to ride in to the rescue. That actually does her a disservice by not allowing her to stand on her own two feet and sets her up for use and abuse by someone who pretends to be the hero in order to get her to swallow whatever bill of goods he expects her to believe.

And, dammit, I had to edit twice. I didnt realize you couldnt read typonese or that my posts were now being graded for spelling mistakes. Dont expect that to continue. This is a one post deal.

This looks suspiciously like advocating that if it worked out for you, then it must for everyone else. I said "looks".... :) This "land blasted" - typo or slang for "lambasted"?

Sorry, couldn't resist. If I'm gonna be labelled a white knight, I may as well be the spelling cop, too.... ;) Not that "land blasted" is spelt wrong, dammit.... Grammar cop? Typonese cop, even?

Focus.

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I didn't know DS even spoke "snark"! DarkSteven, yeah?

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Did figger that by myself ("being"). "You type too fast" meets "I read too fast" - hadta double back when I read "benign bitch" (ie, wtf?) lol

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First, I'm not here to coddle or be coddled either. But I'll always make some allowances for the fresh meat. Lame as it sounds, seems like the right thing to do, IMO. <shrugs>

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Second, I don't regard age as being relevant to experience. Much like the used car, it's not so much how old it is as how many miles are on the clock. 18, 38 or 98 - as far as I know, the OP's been at CM for a month and she's not nearly the first to make *common* rookie mistakes like thinking D/s is held to a higher standard than her previous vanilla experiences.

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There is fuck-all new D/s topics to discuss but truckloads of newbies to discuss them. So yeah, I fire up when I see the experienced acting like stale burnouts when they jump all over them. Is it any harder for the regulars to 'X' out of the thread altogether rather than sharing their dismissive snarky contempt? Apparently, yes. You hate white knights and I hate mob mentality....

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Fourth, yeah, indoctrinated alright. I remember sites like BDSM online. And bondage.com, too. First one's long dead and bondage was in its last throes last I looked. It's the new meat that keeps the heart beating continually, not a bunch of elitist burnouts pushing them away. I'm talking about an overall attitude here, not pointing a finger at anyone in this particular thread.

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This looks suspiciously like advocating that if it worked out for you, then it must for everyone else. I said "looks".... :) This "land blasted" - typo or slang for "lambasted"?

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Sorry, couldn't resist. If I'm gonna be labelled a white knight, I may as well be the spelling cop, too.... ;) Not that "land blasted" is spelt wrong, dammit.... Grammar cop? Typonese cop, even?