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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/3/2013 1:18:16 AM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB


Ah ok, so you think Dommes in general are cheats and liars!! I thought that was what you meant but just wanted you to clarify



Hmm... not sure how fair you're being here, the sentence you seem to be drawing this conclusion from is..

quote:

As regards the willingness of some Dommes and pro-Dommes to facilitate cheats and liars, that is an issue for their own conscience.


There's a "some" in there.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/3/2013 1:28:29 AM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Can someone's world really so insular? Can the choice of a sexual act (within BDSM) have a person falling out of love? Can a bit of anal really turn someone's world upside down?


I suppose the simple answer to that has to be "yes".

But, dammit, we're on a flipping kink site... a very significant proportion of us do shit that those "insular" muggles in vanilla land would be horrified at.

At the end of the day we're all a product of our own experiences, and all of us have foibles and preferences that might seem a little insular to someone else.

So here's a hard limit for me... if I discovered that my playmate was a Conservative party member, the buzz would be well and truly harshed. And yep, that would be it.

A little bit silly? Perhaps! A little bit insular? Sure. Am I going to beat myself up over it? Nope!


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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/3/2013 2:00:59 AM   
MariaB


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think one of the big differences here may be cultural and generational.

It seems those who are not American have a much liberal view of bdsm and sex and relationships. I also see this in young couples in their 20's and early 30's.

So yeah, I do think this is a cultural and generational gap.


I think to an extent you're right about the difference but I'm not sure about being more liberal. Perhaps in the bigger cities and certainly the UK is very liberated.

I live right on the border of Italy and France. An area mainly represented by staunch Catholics. A lot of the men here are macho and a good woman is considered one who never complains and who keeps her mouth shut. Men still gather in the bars and the village squares and discuss man things!. Women are not generally invited and anyway, they are two busy cooking, cleaning and raising their children. I would say that we are many years behind in this part of Europe, especially Italy. I have two local munches here and both are very BDSM orientated. The only people who seem interested in D/s are the female Dommes and the male subs. I've met a good few masochistic females and generally the female subs seem to think its all about gags, whips and kinky sex. There is a huge proportion of dominant women here compared to the munches I attend in London.


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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/3/2013 2:12:04 PM   
MarcEsadrian


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

So, Marc.... it could well be that you're a slave to your close-minded, structuralist, patriarchal, bi-level, non-fluid, masculine meta narrative, but evidently some chicks dig that.

;-)


Slave? If you want to discuss slavery to ideas, well, I've been on the other side of the divide, as it were, in just that fashion. Just an FYI. ;-)

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 2:16:54 AM   
Focus50


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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Then again, I don't like being on top either. The first time he told me to do it, I was so very uncomfortable and it make the entire situation very uncomfortable. For me, being on top is like well....topping. I'm a traditionalist, meaning I believe in gender roles, I believe in a man taking control, being a leader, being on top, monogamy and all the other traditional stuff. For me that's my comfort level. If he didn't feel similar or it changed I would start wondering who the hell he was and where is the real Master.


This is exactly why I lurv making her get on top - because all the subs I've known hate it. One of my favourite things to do to her of a morning, actually. Not talking about actual sex here, just having her on top in a symbollic "command position". The discomfort in her eyes, and the wrestle involved to keep her from diving for the security of the covers - great way to start a lazy Sunday, especially....

C'mon, a dom isn't doing his job if he misses a chance to mess with his sub's comfort zone.

Focus.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 4:50:45 AM   
crazyml


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Status: offline 		Kerching!

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 4:05:52 PM   
Kana


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quote:

C'mon, a dom isn't doing his job if he misses a chance to mess with his sub's comfort zone.

But there's so many better ways to do so.
Like salad tossing to start...

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 6:40:03 PM   
iaminigo


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/3/2013
Status: offline 		Don't enjoy it, but I don't see how it would make you any less Dominant, if that's what you want.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 7:03:09 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

C'mon, a dom isn't doing his job if he misses a chance to mess with his sub's comfort zone.

But there's so many better ways to do so.
Like salad tossing to start...


geez, tell a story once about tossing salad and the man doesn't let it go. Shheesh.


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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 8:57:43 PM   
Focus50


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Kerching!


Say what...? Google says it's the sound of a cash register (I'd have said ka-ching) or some Brit teenage sitcom, which I've thankfully never heard of.

This is payback for giving you hangups?

The English - if you could only speak the language....

Focus.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 9:03:03 PM   
Focus50


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

C'mon, a dom isn't doing his job if he misses a chance to mess with his sub's comfort zone.

But there's so many better ways to do so.


I don't grade such opportunities cos, as we say in Oz, "It's all good".

I'm more concerned with not wasting them.

Focus.

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 9:30:06 PM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Yes to ka-ching being the sound of a cash register. It implies that you are right on the money.

He had to tie me up and physically place me on top that first time.

But it's also a physically awkward position. He's a head taller than me which means my short legs don't get my knees on the bed to keep me stable. And if I'm worried about falling off, I'm not going to be focused on pleasure.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/4/2013 11:43:34 PM   
MariaB


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Status: offline 		I also thought ka-ching meant a strong agreement with someone!

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 3:32:13 AM   
Focus50


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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Yes to ka-ching being the sound of a cash register. It implies that you are right on the money.

He had to tie me up and physically place me on top that first time.

But it's also a physically awkward position. He's a head taller than me which means my short legs don't get my knees on the bed to keep me stable. And if I'm worried about falling off, I'm not going to be focused on pleasure.


Yeah, that did occur to me but the spelling confused me. I mean it rhymes with (eg) a bird "perching" and when I sounded it out the same way, definitely NOT how I'd describe a cash register sound.

Focus.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 5:35:04 AM   
thishereboi


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Status: offline 		fr
I am so glad lesbians don't have to worry about this shit. She told me to grab the strap on and fuck her and I had absolutely no problems doing just that. She told me to lie down so she could fuck me and that was all good too

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 7:25:56 AM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't know if there's a standard spelling for something like this. And it does mean you agree with someone as they are metaphorically winning money for what they said.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 9:25:58 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I used to talk a fair amount with a woman who was an internet-famous slave. She had a widely read blog, had been Owned by a man who was powerful in vanilla life, and she had extensive email correspondence with slave women both in the US and internationally. She once said to me, "It's an open secret that Owners sometimes need to recharge." Meaning: get topped.




Yep. It's not a secret. I know quite a few dom/domme that feel the urge to "recharge". Round here we call em "switches"

The dominant one getting pegged is a horse of a different color. If I were to tell my submissive to do "anything" no matter the task. Am I not the one in charge of the situation?

In my mind it's really that simple. I'm doing the telling and she is complying. My bitch will comply with whatever is asked of her...or she will no longer be my bitch

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 12/5/2013 9:41:15 AM >

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 9:49:07 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

fr
I am so glad lesbians don't have to worry about this shit. She told me to grab the strap on and fuck her and I had absolutely no problems doing just that. She told me to lie down so she could fuck me and that was all good too


It seems most of the posters are expressing their views on anal sex with their partner or having it down to them. Which has nothing to do with the d/s of the situation.

BadOne

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 12:09:37 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I used to talk a fair amount with a woman who was an internet-famous slave. She had a widely read blog, had been Owned by a man who was powerful in vanilla life, and she had extensive email correspondence with slave women both in the US and internationally. She once said to me, "It's an open secret that Owners sometimes need to recharge." Meaning: get topped.



The dominant one getting pegged is a horse of a different color. If I were to tell my submissive to do "anything" no matter the task. Am I not the one in charge of the situation?

In my mind it's really that simple. I'm doing the telling and she is complying. My bitch will comply with whatever is asked of her...or she will no longer be my bitch


A few have expressed how "simple" it supposedly is, and it just isn't. Not with real people living a normal, happy D/s relationship, anyway. Those living the theory of it all, yeah, whatever.

You're right - I (the dom) give the commands and my sub complies. Theory, fact & practical all at work - *simple*. But there's commands and then there's commands and all relationships have lines that shouldn't be crossed. Often they're lines that are never otherwise mentioned, let alone specifically agreed to. Lines that sane and sensible couples rightly assume the other already understands, respects and agrees to.

There is nothing "simple" about male dom ordering fem/sub to peg him with a strap on. Most especially if such a possibility was never discussed at the relationship's beginning. Just as there is nothing "simple" about dom ordering sub to throw herself in front of a speeding truck...! Both are things that can and likely will affect the dynamic and welfare of the greater relationship. Respect is lost - deal breakers!

What I find both offensive and fanciful with this whole train of reasoning is the chest-beating "absoluteness" of it all. Dom commands - sub complies. Something I'd expect from D/s porn or "The Story of O" rather than real people living otherwise normal and happy D/s relationships.

Now prove my point by giving me hell on "real" and "normal"...! ;)

Focus.

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RE: Dominant men recieving strap-on sex? - 12/5/2013 2:02:35 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Lets take a scenario of one Master and one female slave. Her Master is a switch and sometimes under his command, she tops him. She enjoys topping her Master under his command of course because she adores pleasing him and she doesn't lose respect for him because he's such an awesome Master to her!

Who are we to tell such people they aren't the real McCoy? of course they are the real McCoy, they just don't fit into your ideals of D/s


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Profile   Post #: 100
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