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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:26:11 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
I cannot disagree with you on any particular point. However, CM is listed as the largest BDSM community on the planet, and as a community, people are looking for a connection and, perhaps, some kind of relationship.

That would be true of CollarME, not CollarCHAT.

Some people need to realise the difference.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:28:25 PM

VideoAdminChi

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quote:

And FFS, if you are a mod-wanna-be, and you admonish a newbie about having violated a ToS rule, how about citing exactly which section and paragraph you are claiming they violated...just to show that YOU know what the hell you are talking about. I think it is rather frequent that these wanna-be's get it wrong, and if the newbie goes to look it up and can't find it they are going to be less likely to post again for fear of violating some other rule that they can't find.

Yes, often people say TOS when they actually mean Collarme.com Forum Guidelines and I have CMailed some posters to correct this, but this probably does not hit my radar as often as it should.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:31:38 PM

ExiledTyrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

If people wanted just an answer more than likely they would Google it.
They don't want just an answer.
They want human connection.
They want to know that someone understands, or doesn't think they are crazy or ill or too strange.

They want to know that they aren't alone in their desires and they want to feel less lonely.

Ding, ding, ding... We have a winner.

Thank (insert whoever should be thanked in your particular dogmatic system) she gets it.

Exiled

P.S. See how cool I inserted my Über PC skills?

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:32:05 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
If people wanted just an answer more than likely they would Google it.
They don't want just an answer.
They want human connection.
They want to know that someone understands, or doesn't think they are crazy or ill or too strange.

They want to know that they aren't alone in their desires and they want to feel less lonely.

Then abide by the rules and join in a current discussion on the subject - don't start a duplicate.

Is it sooo hard to ask people to stick to the rules?? Really?
The Mods are very busy and are volunteers. It ain't an easy task.
So sometimes people/threads need to be flagged by someone so the Mods can act.

ETA: If people really wanted 'the human touch', they would Google and goto Fet where they can find their local munch.
This is an online medium.
Having someone type an answer or reading one already typed, isn't exactly much different or any more real.

< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 12/17/2013 4:45:41 PM >

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:44:30 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

(Although - hah - I myself was, for the first time that I can remember, pounced on by a newbie for being nasty to her only yesterday. Oh well. One tries, but one inevitably fails occasionally.)

Ah yes, Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? provided inspiration for this thread as well.

I know, I know - you don't have to chide me as well, Chi. :-(

I really was trying to be helpful, though. As I've just written to the lady in question on that thread: her fantasy situation does take proper gutsy femdommery. Sometimes, femdommes can look pretty lily-livered to me, frankly. Even old-timers can make me think, occasionally "Oh for god's sake - if you want to dominate - go the hell ahead and *dominate*." Too many horses that are really thirsty, have been led to water, and complain because the water isn't enthusiastically jumping up into their mouths. Gawd. Delicate girlie would-be femdom milksops. Grrr.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:45:35 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi
Ah yes, Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? provided inspiration for this thread as well.

That thread seems to be in a different category. The OP got mad, but didn't leave, and posted again thanking people for support. Every post on the thread is full of content, even though some of the perspectives are mutually contradictory. So she, and anyone else reading, has a lot to think about. It seems like a really solid conversation.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:49:17 PM

VideoAdminChi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

(Although - hah - I myself was, for the first time that I can remember, pounced on by a newbie for being nasty to her only yesterday. Oh well. One tries, but one inevitably fails occasionally.)

Ah yes, Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? provided inspiration for this thread as well.

I know, I know - you don't have to chide me as well, Chi. :-(

I really was trying to be helpful, though. ..

If I were chiding you, you'd have a gold letter

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:53:49 PM

Apocalypso

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Hoom.

CM has always had a bit of a reputation for being abrasive for a lot of newbies. I think that's probably accurate, though it's hardly the worst forum out there. (It's no Something Awful, let alone Brawl Hall). My advice to anyone who can manage to pull it off without breaking the rules is to respond in kind. If someone goes for you, go for them back. Faster. Harder. Funnier. It's certainly what I did when I was a new poster and it seemed to have an effect quickly. I accept that's not for everyone though.

Practical ideas for what can be done.

The suggestion of a newbie forum is an excellent idea. Especially if it's moderated in a similar way to the intros forum. At the other end of the spectrum, I think there's a lot to be said for "No Holds Barred" forums as well; gives people somewhere to get their snark out.

Not only would I remove the "Vanilla" title, I'd remove post count all together. I've seen this done on other forums and it can make a real difference. Because, when you think about it, post count is utterly irrelevant anyway. It's what people say that's important, not how often they've said it.

People could chill out a bit on the necroing old threads issue. It's one thing when there's already a thread on the first page covering the same subject. But you can't expect people to find a thread from three years ago where it's been discussed. And there's no harm in it being brought up again. If you're bored of the subject, don't post.

Also, chill on the "CollarChat is an entirely different place then CollarMe" meme. It's not even true; they're owned by the same people and the owners of CM have final say on what goes on here. It's also counter-intuitive to claim that when there's a link from the CM site. If you must parade your inability to come up with original thoughts of your own, at least try to do it on an issue where there's no argument.

All that said, I do think newbies have a responsibility as well. "LURK MOAR" is not unique to here. It's standard practise on most Internet forums. Newbies can be validly expected to familiarise themselves with a forum before they post.

We should also recognise that we want to retain good newbies, not all newbies. If someone's only interest is one-handed typing about their fantasies, they really don't have anything of value to add and them not sticking around is no great loss.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:56:26 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso
I'd remove post count all together.

This is a great idea.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 5:06:43 PM

SweetAnise

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To Arturas: I agree with your post. To Rawni: Thank you for your response and I agree we cannot always be on our best behavior (hell I am not) but I do believe some standards for respect on CM would only enhance the idea of retaining a newbie. I have been on and off CM for several years personally I don't care what others say to me or about me. I am a grown woman who sees that life is too short to care about online gangbangers. However, there are many and I mean many newbies who are new to this world and come to the forums scared out of their boots. The last thing they desire is someone ganging up on them. They don't know what to do with being ganged up on and so they leave.

I know for fact it is not my job to gang up on someone. I will give some suggestions and maybe a tidbit or two but other than that...I am busy with life and I like it peaceful. Why do I need to grandstand by making someone else feel bad? I don't. So I don't.

As for trolls you cannot have any power over them. They come and go...and if they act out...they get removed. But by the Mods not a mob.

< Message edited by SweetAnise -- 12/17/2013 5:07:56 PM >

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 5:18:04 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso
...Also, chill on the "CollarChat is an entirely different place then CollarMe" meme. It's not even true; they're owned by the same people and the owners of CM have final say on what goes on here.

And Gumtree are owned by Ebay. Ebay owns Paypal too.
Ebay UK is completely different to Ebay US, Ebay DE, Ebay NZ.
All different sites all owned by the same company but with completely different rules and ToS.
What's your point??

CollarME is the meat market.
That's where people find hook-ups.
That's where people have a profile and describe what they are looking for.
That's what that bit was designed for.

CollarCHAT was designed as the chat medium with forums to cover most subjects.
They have different Mods and different tools and different rules to CollarMe.

The fact that they are owned by the same umbrella company is irrelevant.
They are effectively different sites.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 5:24:58 PM

Apocalypso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
CollarME is the meat market.
That's where people find hook-ups.
That's where people have a profile and describe what they are looking for.
That's what that bit was designed for.

CollarCHAT was designed as the chat medium with forums to cover most subjects.
They have different Mods and different tools and different rules to CollarMe.

The fact that they are owned by the same umbrella company is irrelevant.
They are effectively different sites.

Then why are "Forums" listed on the side of the CM page? Do you consider journals to be entirely separate as well?

Really, this is one we can only resolve with an official statement. Do any of the mods know if the owners of CM consider the forums to be an entirely autonomous entity?

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 5:31:29 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso
Then why are "Forums" listed on the side of the CM page? Do you consider journals to be entirely separate as well?

Really, this is one we can only resolve with an official statement. Do any of the mods know if the owners of CM consider the forums to be an entirely autonomous entity?

They aren't autonomous, but they are legally separate, for example, they have separate terms of service and privacy policies, which you can confirm at the bottom of the page. So journals aren't a good parallel, since journals are still inside CollarMe and its TOS. It's not correct to say they are completely separate entities (the way CM and Extreme Restraints are, even though you can get there with just one tab click from CM), but they are more separate than the profiles and videochat are separate.

That is why you can use your current avatar, while on your CM profile it would be considered a stolen photo.

Not an official statement.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 5:32:45 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso
Then why are "Forums" listed on the side of the CM page? Do you consider journals to be entirely separate as well?

Really, this is one we can only resolve with an official statement. Do any of the mods know if the owners of CM consider the forums to be an entirely autonomous entity?

All the different variations of Ebay are separate entities in their own right but owned by the same umbrella company.
Any member of any Ebay site can advertise and buy from any other ebay site.
They are inter-linked, but separate, with different rules on each site.

As for CM (the umbrella company), why do you think there are separate report features for journals and profiles and posts?
Why do you think the Mods on here have no jurisdiction on the CollarMe side and vice-versa?
Because, to all intent and purposes, they are different entities.
Linked, yes. But separate.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 5:44:21 PM

Apocalypso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
That is why you can use your current avatar, while on your CM profile it would be considered a stolen photo.

Heh, technically this would be fine under the ToC although I accept they'd have no way to know that. (It's created by me and is compliant with the Terms of Service of the South Park site).

It's actually probably one of the few cartoon avatars on here that isn't legally dubious!

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
All the different variations of Ebay are separate entities in their own right but owned by the same umbrella company.
Any member of any Ebay site can advertise and buy from any other ebay site.
They are inter-linked, but separate, with different rules on each site.

But they're all still Ebay, no? And someone coming on Ebay US is not going to be expected to adjust to an entirely different culture.

quote:

As for CM (the umbrella company), why do you think there are separate report features for journals and profiles and posts?

Counterexample. Why can I get to someone's profile by clicking on it in Collarchat if the two are separate?

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 6:04:12 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
All the different variations of Ebay are separate entities in their own right but owned by the same umbrella company.
Any member of any Ebay site can advertise and buy from any other ebay site.
They are inter-linked, but separate, with different rules on each site.

But they're all still Ebay, no? And someone coming on Ebay US is not going to be expected to adjust to an entirely different culture.

But... that's the rub.
Your login to any Ebay site with get you in any other site with a different addy.
And yes, you are expected to abide by the site rules for the site you are logged into, not your home site.
And some of those rules are very radically different between sites.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

As for CM (the umbrella company), why do you think there are separate report features for journals and profiles and posts?

Counterexample. Why can I get to someone's profile by clicking on it in Collarchat if the two are separate?

Because they are linked, but a separate legal entity.
Try it on Ebay.
Login to Ebay.com (the US Site) then find a UK or NZ/DE seller.
You can click on their profile and bring up their performance and comments left by other people.
They aren't part of the US site and only have to abide by the rules on the site they advertise on.

Just as an example, if you are a UK based seller, you must allow payment via Paypal.
That rule doesn't exist on any of the other Ebay sites, but it is on the UK one.

Different sites, different ToS, different rules... same umbrella company.

ETA: That's the same with CM.
Your login ID works for both sides of the site.
But they are still very separate.

< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 12/17/2013 6:05:41 PM >

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 6:26:07 PM

EventideFortuna

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Stop the "regulars" from being back seat mods.

The amount of posters who think they know or understand the ToS when they really dont, and harp, jump or otherwise degrade new users is extremely discouraging.

If your not a mod, simple, DONT mod, theres a button to report. Report it and keep your comments to yourself about what it is you like dont like would like to change.

The thing is regardless of if its the internet, your a sadist or whatever other thing you want to say... is it doesnt excuse piss poor behavior. Ive met several previous posters who have left as well as several forum regulars, they are NOTHING in real life like they are online because the reality is, there are no serious consequences for being a dick to someone online.

Warn the people who tell others how to post. Sure is it annoying to see a personal ad? Eh, Ive met several partners who posted something as a personal over here. Is it frustrating to see the same thread again and again and again, Eh not really.

If these things bother you, professional help is available to you.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 6:31:11 PM

Spiritedsub2

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Great post.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 6:35:28 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso
But they're all still Ebay, no? And someone coming on Ebay US is not going to be expected to adjust to an entirely different culture.

It's fair to say that both sites share a culture. Alpha made a famous post in 2010 saying the moderation on the forums was going to get back to the site's roots, and more closely follow the principles used in both profiles and forums in the early days of the site. The profile side had been modded that way, but the forum side moderation rules were experimented with, especially in 2007-2009, when pretty much all forum modding fell on the shoulders of a single person. So you might have seen the very tail end of that.

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RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 6:39:46 PM

AAkasha

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Here are a few humble suggestions.

If someone is already reading a new poster the riot act and giving them shit, forum regulars should resist temptation to "pile on." One snarky post is enough - not five. If you already see someone has been bitched at, why the need to add to it?

Second, stop the inter-convos between regulars, inside jokes, and "pile on" where two or more posters all congratulate each other during the aforementioned beat down. It comes across as bully behavior and is unnecessary. keep the inside jokes to Polls & Random Stupidity. The one-liner "inside joke" posts meant to impress each other are transparent.

Akasha

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