RE: What can we do to retain new posters?

Post #: 61

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 2:52:45 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminGamma

I do like the idea about a section for "New to the Forum". We could move the Intros there, have some better FAQ's and a Q&A area for new folks to ask questions about the etiquette and functionality here.

Since I helped write the Ask A Mistress FAQ and gave Alpha permission to more or less copy and paste what I wrote with a few minor tweaks for the general forum FAQ, give me a shout if you would like help organizing a newbie section. I will be more than happy to help out with that project.

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Post #: 62

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 2:58:17 PM

DomKen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

As an aside, the post currently at the top of General, asking for advice about how best to do self-bondage to nipples, is exactly the kind of OP that needs to be encouraged and showcased. I don't know the answer, so I won't be posting there, but hopefully someone knowledgeable will. Also, it might help to have a "Forum Ranger" type position, someone whose job it is to engage in informed research if no one seems to know the answer to a question. Example: "I don't know the answer myself, but I did some internet searching, and here's a link to what seems as though it might be a reliable source." That will build a culture of helpfulness and question-answering, instead of a culture of fake-spotting and troll-be-goneing.

Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 63

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 3:04:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen

Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

Jadeslave and she evolved into luckyalbatross

Hands down, the girl you want links from is ~stef, they may come with an ouch or two! but they'll be good ones ;)

Exiled

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Post #: 64

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 3:09:38 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

There is never going to be a universal policy that will make things 100% ok for everyone. It's just not possible given the diversity of cultural, experience, ages, orientations, and every other possible combination that makes us all the forum community we are. There are always going to be sensitive types who want the world handed to them on a silk pillow being pulled by a team of soft and fuzzy teddy bears.

It also comes down to: there will always be places where you don't fit in. It's the reality. But, society has become so PC that cultures are expected to change so that everyone fits in and in the end, it becomes banal and pedantic.

I know there are forums where I didn't fit in. I tried them and then left...because they just didn't fit me. That doesn't make that forum wrong, it just means that it's just not the place for me.

The same applies here. If CM forums don't work for you, there may be other forums that do work for you. Hell, start your own group on Fet and create your own culture.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen

Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

Lucky Albatross....and dayum, I miss her posting.

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Post #: 65

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 3:26:01 PM

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FR~

I think the reason that some newbies get jumped on is because they haven't bothered to read anything and jumped in all high and mighty with attitude right off the bat.
Arty's idea is fine for a B&M club.
And to a certain degree, this is also true of CM and many other forum sites.

However, on a B&M club, there's usually a bouncer or two on the door to prevent asshats, overdrunk, improperly dressed clientelle from even getting through the doors.
Unfortunately, that's an impossible task to do online.
Sure, the ToS would tell them what to expect, and also the FAQ's and sticky's on each topic.
But do they read them?? Fuck, hell no! They think they know it all.

So we get some undesirables in the door before we even know it and have to deal with it when they start swaggering in the forums.
So, what's the answer??
A lot of us are quite brusque and brutal, but not many that are deliberately arsey and rude to the newbies. At least not from what I've seen that wasn't deserved or justified.
They get told what they are doing wrong and I don't think it is unrealistic to expect them to abide by the rules and ettiquette of the forum.
After all, they agreed to those when they joined up. Right?
So we must assume that they have actually read the ToS and rules.
If they get all butthurt and throw a hissy fit, I think they deserve to be ejected forthwith until they learn their manners and decorum.

We certainly don't need a net-nanny to go coddling them.
This is an adult site, yes?
Then they should know what to expect and how to behave.
Yeah, I know. It means they should have read the fucking rules et al.
But if they can't be assed to do that, why should the regulars make allowances for those lazy-assed asshats?
And posting more sticky's and FAQ's in another topic like intros (where we all have to be on our best behaviour or get modded) still won't get read by those asshats that stroll in here and stir up shit from the get go.
Sorry, most of us abide by the rules and so should the newbies.
It's not like there's no info and no FAQ's or a ToS - it's all there. No excuse, new or otherwise.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 66

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 3:46:45 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

As an aside, the post currently at the top of General, asking for advice about how best to do self-bondage to nipples, is exactly the kind of OP that needs to be encouraged and showcased. I don't know the answer, so I won't be posting there, but hopefully someone knowledgeable will. Also, it might help to have a "Forum Ranger" type position, someone whose job it is to engage in informed research if no one seems to know the answer to a question. Example: "I don't know the answer myself, but I did some internet searching, and here's a link to what seems as though it might be a reliable source." That will build a culture of helpfulness and question-answering, instead of a culture of fake-spotting and troll-be-goneing.

Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

I think that while that can be useful, it doesn't address the need a lot of people have: connection.

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Post #: 67

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 3:50:52 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

FR

I think it has been mentioned before, but I wonder if a 'newbie' section or a 'basic questions' sub-forum might be a good idea. An area which encourages people who are brand new, perhaps not yet sure about where they stand. They can be allowed to ask those somewhat repetitive questions that regulars get tired of, and people can be told to play a bit gentler there. Those regulars who have little patience for the 101 level questions can stay clear and perhaps some of the more patient regular posters can be recruited to lurk there and give people gentle nudges in the right direction.

Yep - good idea. I'd be up for that. Regulars who feel like being friendly on a given occasion could deal with those sorts of newbies - or avoid their threads entirely if they happen to be in a pissy and ungenerous mood. Perhaps a forum that's somewhere between 'Introductions' and all the other forums. (At present the difference in tone between Introductions and the other forums is vast - there really needs to be something in between.)

Myself, I'm somewhat like MariaB in that I find the 'snark fests' here a bit dreary and depressing. Most peoples' snarks aren't anywhere near as clever and entertaining as their purveyors think they are - except to those other people who can't do clever and entertaining snarks either.

(Although - hah - I myself was, for the first time that I can remember, pounced on by a newbie for being nasty to her only yesterday. Oh well. One tries, but one inevitably fails occasionally.)

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 12/17/2013 3:51:45 PM >

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Post #: 68

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 3:59:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen
Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

I think that while that can be useful, it doesn't address the need a lot of people have: connection.

I can understand why some got bent out of shape on that one.

Is it sooo hard to use the search to see if you can find an answer to your problem or question?
Are people so damned lazy they can't even be bothered to check?
Jeeez. Sometimes this crap comes up several times a week and it's still in the top half-a-dozen threads.

I know the search can be a bit clunky. But WTF?
Too many people want it laid out for them on a silver platter set upon a velvet cushion.
After a while, helpful links to almost identical threads get monotonous and very boring.
Cute at first. But after a while... just shit.

I get this sometimes from my own kids at home when they get lazy.
I tell them to go look it up for themselves coz I ain't a full-time librarian service.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 69

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:04:04 PM

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Freedomwarf, the reason the dead horse keeps being beaten is because people often want feedback as it applies to them or their particular perspective/situation and not that other weirdo with the deaf mute slave girl.

Jus sayin

Exiled

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Post #: 70

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:08:41 PM

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Has anyone actually read the tag lines under the topic categories?

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Post #: 71

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:08:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Freedomwarf, the reason the dead horse keeps being beaten is because people often want feedback as it applies to them or their particular perspective/situation and not that other weirdo with the deaf mute slave girl.

Jus sayin

Exiled

Agreed, if their situation is different enough to warrant a separate answer.
But in a lot of cases, it's barely a smidge different to their own.
So it's in a different country/town and the people were older/younger, but the situation is almost identical.
A lot of it is common sense, which invariably gets thrown out with the bath water.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 72

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:12:41 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

As an aside, the post currently at the top of General, asking for advice about how best to do self-bondage to nipples, is exactly the kind of OP that needs to be encouraged and showcased. I don't know the answer, so I won't be posting there, but hopefully someone knowledgeable will. Also, it might help to have a "Forum Ranger" type position, someone whose job it is to engage in informed research if no one seems to know the answer to a question. Example: "I don't know the answer myself, but I did some internet searching, and here's a link to what seems as though it might be a reliable source." That will build a culture of helpfulness and question-answering, instead of a culture of fake-spotting and troll-be-goneing.

Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

I think that while that can be useful, it doesn't address the need a lot of people have: connection.

I agree. Just posting links, or, worse, posting links to Let Me Google That for You, isn't what I'm suggesting. I'm saying that most experienced kinksters have decent BS detectors about internet claims, so even if they don't know how to tie a shibari posture collar, they can skim a web page that claims to give the lowdown on shibari posture collars and say, "I don't know myself, but hey, you might want to read this," or, "Here's a site I found while searching. The instructions look good, but the history and philosophy provided by the site looks sketchy or wrong."

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Post #: 73

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:13:34 PM

igor2003

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

As an aside, the post currently at the top of General, asking for advice about how best to do self-bondage to nipples, is exactly the kind of OP that needs to be encouraged and showcased. I don't know the answer, so I won't be posting there, but hopefully someone knowledgeable will. Also, it might help to have a "Forum Ranger" type position, someone whose job it is to engage in informed research if no one seems to know the answer to a question. Example: "I don't know the answer myself, but I did some internet searching, and here's a link to what seems as though it might be a reliable source." That will build a culture of helpfulness and question-answering, instead of a culture of fake-spotting and troll-be-goneing.

Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

I think that while that can be useful, it doesn't address the need a lot of people have: connection.

Bingo!

One thing I see over and over now (and which I find irritating), is when a new person shows up they are greeted with the current, universal, key-word of the moment...DISCUSS.

They are told:
Welcome to the DISCUSSION side.
or
People come here to DISCUSS things.
or
We have lots of great DISCUSSIONS here.
etc.

But when they actually ask a question or try to start a DISCUSSION, they are told:
Go read this thread...
or
Go read that thread...
or
Go read the FAQs...
or (and this one is really the sign of a jerk)
I'm not here to do your research for you...

And FFS, if you are a mod-wanna-be, and you admonish a newbie about having violated a ToS rule, how about citing exactly which section and paragraph you are claiming they violated...just to show that YOU know what the hell you are talking about. I think it is rather frequent that these wanna-be's get it wrong, and if the newbie goes to look it up and can't find it they are going to be less likely to post again for fear of violating some other rule that they can't find.

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Post #: 74

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:17:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Freedomwarf, the reason the dead horse keeps being beaten is because people often want feedback as it applies to them or their particular perspective/situation and not that other weirdo with the deaf mute slave girl.

Jus sayin

Exiled

Agreed, if their situation is different enough to warrant a separate answer.
But in a lot of cases, it's barely a smidge different to their own.
So it's in a different country/town and the people were older/younger, but the situation is almost identical.
A lot of it is common sense, which invariably gets thrown out with the bath water.

I cannot disagree with you on any particular point. However, CM is listed as the largest BDSM community on the planet, and as a community, people are looking for a connection and, perhaps, some kind of relationship. Now, making an encyclopedia of past experience ( also known as the search feature) in large bold type, somewhere at the top of the forum, for newbies to find, might be helpful.

You all should realize what you represent on this side... At least have the potential to represent. There is a great deal of interaction here, that isn't meat market interaction like the other side. For newbies, it's almost like live kink support sans Indian accent,

Exiled

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Post #: 75

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:17:06 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
or (and this one is really the sign of a jerk)
I'm not here to do your research for you...

Yes. That's the symptom of someone who wants to be heard, but doesn't have much to say. Why open the thread if you have no desire to contribute?

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Post #: 76

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:22:10 PM

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Problem is Igor, if that very same subject has already been discussed only the day before or not too long back, why are they asking again??

It's a running discussion, and as per rules, don't duplicate a current subject.
If a Mod spots it, it'll get shut down anyway, with a warning.
But all too often it drifts very quickly and the original question is swamped.

(in reply to igor2003)

Post #: 77

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:23:27 PM

VideoAdminChi

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quote:

(Although - hah - I myself was, for the first time that I can remember, pounced on by a newbie for being nasty to her only yesterday. Oh well. One tries, but one inevitably fails occasionally.)

Ah yes, Finding a boy for My boy - any suggestions? provided inspiration for this thread as well.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 78

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:24:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Problem is Igor, if that very same subject has already been discussed only the day before or not too long back, why are they asking again??

It's a running discussion, and as per rules, don't duplicate a current subject.
If a Mod spots it, it'll get shut down anyway, with a warning.
But all too often it drifts very quickly and the original question is swamped.

You're not required to participate in any way. Why sweat it, the mods'll get to it if needs be.

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Post #: 79

RE: What can we do to retain new posters? - 12/17/2013 4:25:20 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen
Many years ago a poster, whose name I've forgotten, would post links to previous discussions on a topic. Some people got bent out of shape over it but it struck me as her trying to help the newbies out when they asked the same small group of questions as previous newbies.

I think that while that can be useful, it doesn't address the need a lot of people have: connection.

I can understand why some got bent out of shape on that one.

Is it sooo hard to use the search to see if you can find an answer to your problem or question?
Are people so damned lazy they can't even be bothered to check?
Jeeez. Sometimes this crap comes up several times a week and it's still in the top half-a-dozen threads.

I know the search can be a bit clunky. But WTF?
Too many people want it laid out for them on a silver platter set upon a velvet cushion.
After a while, helpful links to almost identical threads get monotonous and very boring.
Cute at first. But after a while... just shit.

I get this sometimes from my own kids at home when they get lazy.
I tell them to go look it up for themselves coz I ain't a full-time librarian service.

If people wanted just an answer more than likely they would Google it.
They don't want just an answer.
They want human connection.
They want to know that someone understands, or doesn't think they are crazy or ill or too strange.

They want to know that they aren't alone in their desires and they want to feel less lonely.

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(in reply to freedomdwarf1)