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RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 3:05:14 PM

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Ive always been the opposite, I tend to play up flaws and have s really self debasing sense of humor, I do so because it makes people with superiority complexes that are trying to peacock stand out more, and that is one personality trait that really rubs me the wrong way..... my owner was the only other person I knew who downplayed the same as I did, never tried to show off and he always has girls coming up to him. If people care too much about being impressive they forget that a lot of people can readily see past that. Dont spend so much time building the set you forget to write the script.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 4:20:36 PM

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From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Oh yes. Men and women exaggerate themselves to look better to potential mate prospects. Men are statistically more likely to do this than women, but women do it as well.

And the fact is that men like to SAY they are chased, and even like the thought of it, but when it happens, they freak out, in most cases. Because if they REALLY liked the person, they'd already be chasing.

Honestly I rarely encounter women who do it. Sub men like SockySock though are a dime a dozen. I almost always hear how "awful", "frumpy" blah blah previous encounters have been. One even jokingly said the ladies had a "fishy smell". Yea, it went there. I kind of back away from anyone who has anything negative to say about other women in order to attract a potential mate.
At the end of the day, many men are sort of psychological ninjas for their "male pride" sake, they kind of know what bait to lay to catch the type of fish they want and for their pride to remain in tact. Those cheap antics don't work with me.
These are with the ones who think they are a catch though not all of them are that way but some definitely think they are a gift to domly women. And honestly, when he says the woman is the one doing the chasing I would question even that. Not even the FinDommes give off that vibe.
They are pleasant to me but I do get a sense of "two-facedness".

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/18/2015 4:26:15 PM >

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(in reply to NookieNotes)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 7:30:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

That makes zero sense. Your attitude is akin to guys who write to me and often say, wow, how is it that you are single?
It is not quantity that's the issue, it's quality.

Who will first establish a relationship? Two people who meet and who want the same thing.

Just because someone receives a lot of emails doesn't mean there isn't any quality. It takes time and energy to sort through all those emails to find quality. The woman who decides to do this has more opportunity than the man who receives 0.

If I had a nickel for every time I've read this.

OP: unless you happen to be FtM, you know nothing of the female experience. You don't know what it's like to be a female on a kinky dating site, and you don't know what it's like to be a female in any other situation. Your conclusion about opportunities is misinformed and fallacious.

I'm not going to bring up numbers, because that's another thread. I will say, however, that the supposed surplus of eligible men on this site is an illusion. No one has it easy here. No one. I've been on this site off and on for a long time (ten years). I've received and sent hundreds - perhaps thousands - of messages. The number of men I've met here who are at all interested in me; who I'm at all interested in; who don't disappear within a week; who don't balk at the prospect of meeting in person; and who actually show up, averages out to about one per year.

I'm so glad I'm not a submissive female. I shudder to think of the kind of mail they get from men. At least when I get mail from HNG's, it usually doesn't make me feel like I need to take a shower immediately. I hate to think of what submissive women need to barf through ("You filthy bitch, I'm gonna do X, Y, and Z to you....") when they read their mail.

Anyhow, OP, there are plenty of submissive women out there looking for a nice guy. You seem pretty attractive on the outside, so maybe you should take stock of your inside?

(in reply to MathewIndio)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 7:40:33 PM

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Baroana has the right idea. Neither sex has more or fewer problems. They have different sets of problems.

Maybe from your view of the site it seems like a wonderful thing to have a flooded inbox of people who want your attention, until you try talking to them. Then it's apparent that you're not potential partner to them so much as a warm body to fill some role. Anyone will do, and you're one of the 20 people they happened to message you that day. Don't worry though, because they'll keep making the rounds and sooner or later you'll get that same message again. Even the supposedly wonderful guys who want a relationship can be guilty of this behavior. The only difference is that they're asking 20 women to be their girlfriend instead of demanding they be their fucktoy.

I won't encourage you to find out for yourself. Some guy did that for you: If you don't mind reading Reddit.

But your position is that women should be dutifully shoveling through that nonsense to find the good guys. Not because it'll end in a potential match for them, either. But because the good guys deserve it. So I ask you, do women join personals sites for their own needs, or yours?

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(in reply to Baroana)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 7:44:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

Baroana has the right idea. Neither sex has more or fewer problems. They have different sets of problems.

Maybe from your view of the site it seems like a wonderful thing to have a flooded inbox of people who want your attention, until you try talking to them. Then it's apparent that you're not potential partner to them so much as a warm body to fill some role. Anyone will do, and you're one of the 20 people they happened to message you that day. Don't worry though, because they'll keep making the rounds and sooner or later you'll get that same message again. Even the supposedly wonderful guys who want a relationship can be guilty of this behavior. The only difference is that they're asking 20 women to be their girlfriend instead of demanding they be their fucktoy.

I won't encourage you to find out for yourself. Some guy did that for you: If you don't mind reading Reddit.

But your position is that women should be dutifully shoveling through that nonsense to find the good guys. Not because it'll end in a potential match for them, either. But because the good guys deserve it. So I ask you, do women join personals sites for their own needs, or yours?

Agree!

(in reply to RockaRolla)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 9:06:23 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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Oh and op, the reason we don't write back saying 'thanks but no thanks' is that 90% of the time we get no response. Ten percent we get nasty responses. The nicest response, also the most common, was 'your(sic) too fat to fuck'.

The one response that stopped me from ever explicitly rejecting someone again was a several page long description of how he proposed to find me and then slowly torture me to death, with the finale being slicing me in two, starting in my vagina and knifing upwards.

One such response is enough to receive in a lifetime. And because there are people like that, I am unwilling to ever expose myself to receiving such a letter again. And therefore I stopped sending 'thanks but no thanks'. It's my choice not to risk receiving such a letter. If staying safe means I miss being convinced to turn my no to yes from someone else, well that's my choice to take.

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(in reply to Baroana)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 9:23:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
But your position is that women should be dutifully shoveling through that nonsense to find the good guys. Not because it'll end in a potential match for them, either. But because the good guys deserve it. So I ask you, do women join personals sites for their own needs, or yours?

I believe that if a woman wants to find a significant other she is going to have to put in a lot of energy and effort. This includes going through her emails, instead of clicking them all and then deleting them (Deleted, Unread). Since you wrote, "shoveling through that nonsense" I assume you believe that all the emails you receive are from men you have no desire for. I'm saying that in the onslaught of emails you are receiving there are a few good men.

I believe that a lot of women join personal sites in order to find a good man. The ones who find the good ones put in the energy and effort to do so. The ones who are complaining that "I can't find any good man" and they are getting 100's of emails are not putting in the energy and effort that is required.

(in reply to RockaRolla)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 9:26:04 PM

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I don't know just how this thread turned from "women have so much more opportunity" to "women are jerks for not responding to every message." If these two ideas are connected in the OP's mind, it must be because he thinks women owe responses due to having it better than men.

By the way, doesn't it warm your heart when straight white men gripe about being an underprivileged class?

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 9:34:13 PM

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From: The Shire
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I'm glad someone said that who wasn't me...

(in reply to Baroana)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 9:43:42 PM

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Joined: 3/4/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I don't know just how this thread turned from "women have so much more opportunity" to "women are jerks for not responding to every message." If these two ideas are connected in the OP's mind, it must be because he thinks women owe responses due to having it better than men.

By the way, doesn't it warm your heart when straight white men gripe about being an underprivileged class?

I never said or implied that "women are jerks for not responding to every message." "straight white men gripe" ??? where is this coming from???

(in reply to Baroana)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 9:57:35 PM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
But your position is that women should be dutifully shoveling through that nonsense to find the good guys. Not because it'll end in a potential match for them, either. But because the good guys deserve it. So I ask you, do women join personals sites for their own needs, or yours?

I believe that if a woman wants to find a significant other she is going to have to put in a lot of energy and effort. This includes going through her emails, instead of clicking them all and then deleting them (Deleted, Unread). Since you wrote, "shoveling through that nonsense" I assume you believe that all the emails you receive are from men you have no desire for. I'm saying that in the onslaught of emails you are receiving there are a few good men.

I believe that a lot of women join personal sites in order to find a good man. The ones who find the good ones put in the energy and effort to do so. The ones who are complaining that "I can't find any good man" and they are getting 100's of emails are not putting in the energy and effort that is required.

Like Baroana said above, pardon my language but who the FUCK do you think you are to tell any women what to do and how to meet a "good" man?.

And who are you to determine what constitutes a good man? Let me be clear so you may understand.

It doesn't matter about good or bad. It only matters what that INDIVIDUAL deems appropriate replies from men, and their own preferences. End of fucking story. I mean Stephen Hawking is a nice genius but if he wrote me, I would decline.

As for being serious about finding a partner? I had a lot of long term relationships and hundreds, yes hundreds of dates in my life.

Were some or many or even most of those men "good" or nice? I imagine so.

However, and I know you cannot comprehend this, if any of those men tripped my wire, I would have pursued them. The ones I did like, were still not compelling enough for me to date them more than 2-3 times.

I also never approach men. I prefer to be approached. Sue me.

So don't tell me I have not put energy into meeting someone until you miraculously turn female and interact with men as much as I have.

Based on your replies to everyone I am sure these keystrokes will not register.

Because.....you started this thread about YOUR problem and blamed women for your lack of success.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 3/18/2015 10:01:33 PM >

(in reply to MathewIndio)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 10:10:36 PM

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Joined: 3/4/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Like Baroana said above, pardon my language but who the FUCK do you think you are to tell any women what to do and how to meet a "good" man?.
I never told any woman what to do and how to meet a "good" man. I'm assuming that women go on dating sites to meet good men.

And who are you to determine what constitutes a good man? Let me be clear so you may understand.
I never defined what a good man is.

It doesn't matter about good or bad. It only matters what that INDIVIDUAL deems appropriate replies from men, and their own preferences. End of fucking story. I mean Stephen Hawking is a nice genius but if he wrote me, I would decline.
That's your preference and your loss.

I also never approach men. I prefer to be approached. Sue me.
Good for you. I never said women should or should not approach men.

So don't tell me I have not put energy into meeting someone until you miraculously turn female and interact with men as much as I have.
I never said you haven't put energy into meeting someone.

Because.....you started this thread about YOUR problem and blamed women for your lack of success.
I never said I had a problem or had a lack of success. I'm saying it seems to me that women have more opportunity than men on online dating sites.

As far as your phrase, "who the fuck are you".... Wow, my goodness...

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 10:22:28 PM

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My goodness? Sorry my language hurts you. You frustrated me because you are being dense.

As for your replies to my post, you keep repeating yourself and you seem unable to discuss the issue intelligently.

As for Stephen Hawking, which was a dramatic example, I respect his mind, his goodness, but would not be interested in being more than friends.

You saying it would be my loss, again shows you don't understand preferences are fine to have.

(in reply to MathewIndio)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 10:36:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

My goodness? Sorry my language hurts you. You frustrated me because you are being dense.
I always thought vulgar language was rude. You frustrate me because you seem to be putting words in my mouth that I never said.

As for your replies to my post, you keep repeating yourself and you seem unable to discuss the issue intelligently.
My issue is that women appear to have better opportunities on dating sites than men. However, you are bringing forth issues that I never brought forth. "Defining what a good man is" "Women approaching men"

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 10:39:32 PM

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I give up on you.

You really don't want a discussion.

You just want to whine.

(in reply to MathewIndio)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 10:45:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I give up on you.

You really don't want a discussion.

You just want to whine.

I give up on you. You use vulgar language, put words into peoples mouth, and call people names. How is saying, "It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men on dating sites" makes a person a whiner?

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/18/2015 11:03:44 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

My goodness? Sorry my language hurts you. You frustrated me because you are being dense.
I always thought vulgar language was rude. You frustrate me because you seem to be putting words in my mouth that I never said.

As for your replies to my post, you keep repeating yourself and you seem unable to discuss the issue intelligently.
My issue is that women appear to have better opportunities on dating sites than men. However, you are bringing forth issues that I never brought forth. "Defining what a good man is" "Women approaching men"

APPEAR being the operative word. Appearances can be & ARE deceiving. I am, indeed, one of the lucky female submissives. I met my Dom through the other side. We were friends for quite awhile before we decided to step it up a notch. Even then, he was frightened that we clicked so quickly after meeting and poofed away.

He re-appeared 15 mos later, having come to the decision that I was indeed the one for him. Something I had known all along. He had to realize it on his own. He was also told, in no uncertain manner, that he must earn my trust and confidence once again. Communication & honesty were also a must. No shutting me out, total transparency. It took him some time to earn it all back, but he did. We've now been living together for almost 2 yrs. Neither of us is going anywhere,

I've been on this site for 8 years Under a few different nics. It took 6 yrs to find MY Mister right. A number of men I didn't mesh with, some who thought kinky = easy lay, a few real losers (to me), a few if I had been willing to settle. But I knew, and know, my self-worth, I wasn't going to settle. Even if it meant being single forever & a day!

< Message edited by tiggerspoohbear -- 3/18/2015 11:04:53 PM >

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(in reply to MathewIndio)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/19/2015 12:04:49 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I give up on you.

You really don't want a discussion.

You just want to whine.

I give up on you. You use vulgar language, put words into peoples mouth, and call people names. How is saying, "It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men on dating sites" makes a person a whiner?

If you are such a baby that bad words from a stranger online upset you, get off the internet and message boards. Grow up and learn to be a man who,is not afraid of discussion. And stop hating women, that could turn bad for you.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 3/19/2015 12:05:30 AM >

(in reply to MathewIndio)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/19/2015 4:09:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Oh yes. Men and women exaggerate themselves to look better to potential mate prospects. Men are statistically more likely to do this than women, but women do it as well.

And the fact is that men like to SAY they are chased, and even like the thought of it, but when it happens, they freak out, in most cases. Because if they REALLY liked the person, they'd already be chasing.

Honestly I rarely encounter women who do it. Sub men like SockySock though are a dime a dozen. I almost always hear how "awful", "frumpy" blah blah previous encounters have been. One even jokingly said the ladies had a "fishy smell". Yea, it went there. I kind of back away from anyone who has anything negative to say about other women in order to attract a potential mate.

Oh! You haven't encountered the "he treated me like..." or, "I did everything for him..."?

quote:

At the end of the day, many men are sort of psychological ninjas for their "male pride" sake, they kind of know what bait to lay to catch the type of fish they want and for their pride to remain in tact. Those cheap antics don't work with me.
These are with the ones who think they are a catch though not all of them are that way but some definitely think they are a gift to domly women. And honestly, when he says the woman is the one doing the chasing I would question even that. Not even the FinDommes give off that vibe.
They are pleasant to me but I do get a sense of "two-facedness".

Oh yes. I see this everywhere.

Like I said, though, I see this in women as well. It's from a different place, but in my experience, they do it just as much. Usually making themselves out to be the victim, the martyr...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio
I believe that if a woman wants to find a significant other she is going to have to put in a lot of energy and effort. This includes going through her emails, instead of clicking them all and then deleting them (Deleted, Unread). Since you wrote, "shoveling through that nonsense" I assume you believe that all the emails you receive are from men you have no desire for. I'm saying that in the onslaught of emails you are receiving there are a few good men.

Good men does not equal good matches/mates. I'm pretty sure that there have been good women interested in you that you did not want...

So, your point is moot.

quote:

I believe that a lot of women join personal sites in order to find a good man. The ones who find the good ones put in the energy and effort to do so. The ones who are complaining that "I can't find any good man" and they are getting 100's of emails are not putting in the energy and effort that is required.

Women join personal sites for many reasons. ONE reason is to find the right man, not just a good man. My ex-BF is a good man. Not the ultimate man for me, but an amazing, wonderful, good man.

It's not enough to just be good. They have to be a match for the woman that is looking for them.

As stated, you do not know what 100s of emails are like until you receive them. You seem very locked in your own little experience bubble, unwilling to listen to those who have different experiences.

So, for me, you might be a good man (I'm not saying one way or another, because I don't know you), but you would not be a good man for me, as your mind is far too inflexible for the life I lead.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

My goodness? Sorry my language hurts you. You frustrated me because you are being dense.

I always thought vulgar language was rude. You frustrate me because you seem to be putting words in my mouth that I never said.

Communication is making sure that your message is clear. Your message as Red is reading it is coming across to most of us (the women who you are trying to convince) the same way. Perhaps the common denominator here is you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
As for your replies to my post, you keep repeating yourself and you seem unable to discuss the issue intelligently.
My issue is that women appear to have better opportunities on dating sites than men. However, you are bringing forth issues that I never brought forth. "Defining what a good man is" "Women approaching men"

And we have told you clearly that your definition of "better opportunities" does not apply. And we are women. So, therefore, we get to decide what makes a "better opportunity" for us.

Period.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

APPEAR being the operative word. Appearances can be & ARE deceiving.

Truth.

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(in reply to GoddessManko)

RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity - 3/19/2015 5:42:50 AM

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Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MathewIndio

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I don't know just how this thread turned from "women have so much more opportunity" to "women are jerks for not responding to every message." If these two ideas are connected in the OP's mind, it must be because he thinks women owe responses due to having it better than men.

By the way, doesn't it warm your heart when straight white men gripe about being an underprivileged class?

I never said or implied that "women are jerks for not responding to every message." "straight white men gripe" ??? where is this coming from???

Well the white male part was easy to get from the pic and perhaps she assumed the straight part because you are only seeking females. But I suppose she could be wrong and you go both ways. The griping part is also easy to see, just go back and reread your posts.

As to the op which seems to take the experiences of one women to show how all women act. Perhaps you should go out and meet some more women and then get back to us.

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(in reply to MathewIndio)

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