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RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 12:50:05 PM

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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Ego is fine, just know where it comes from.

Not sure i want the answer but ok ill bite ........where does ego come from?

_____________________________

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

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(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 12:53:13 PM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

.....insanity in close proximity can be contageous.

Ok, this gets an AMEN!!! Preach on Caretakr!!!!

And not even 1200 posts before it happened.... It could be the monkeys typing Shakespeare thing but I'm hoping it's a speck of gold.

We had to agree on something eventually.

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 12:54:36 PM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Ego is fine, just know where it comes from.

Not sure i want the answer but ok ill bite ........where does ego come from?

It comes from who you think you are.

But not neccesarily who you are.

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 12:57:56 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Oh, hi Noah!

Sure yes indeedy, I have my own baggage. Which I am trying to sort through.

The reason I am whining about this issue, is that I beat myself up over it on occasion. I'm trying to understand where it comes from, for I seemed to attract this sort.

I think it had a lot to do with my origional, rather silly "white knight healer", idiocy. Eventually, I got slapped around by enough of these women to get over it.

Still I run across the occasional one who sort of makes me shrink back down inside,very bad memories. And it's a knee jerk preservation reaction.....insanity in close proximity can be contageous.

So I pretty much look for the opposite now.

I think it is that you are also attracted to this sort...

As far as my PTSD... I never have been into a punishment kink. I have other issues as we all do. I do get anxiety which I deal with by sitting down and talking myself down. My Dom has witnessed this process and he thinks I handle my anxiety very well, because I do not spew on him because of it. He has had others who have. We all have problems, it is how we solve them that is a measure of our character.. we all have baggage, those who handle their baggage well do not foist it on others and can even take a bag or two for a loved one if needed... just my thoughts.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:19:20 PM

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Joined: 7/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

.... I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up.

Am I the only one who read the OP? I do not care if you are a sub, Dom, Domme, switch, alien or troll. It is reasonable to expect any adult to KEEP HER/HIS WORD!! Trust is the foundation of any realtionship, especially a LS relationship. And a sub who uses mistrust to get their kink on by getting 'punished' has got to go, sooner the better. A Dom/Domme who enables them to keep being dishonest and rewarding the dishonesty is the loser in the end. Caretaker is correct when it comes to keeping your word. How many times DO we need to ask? Any child over 7 years old knows what honesty is. Anyone not doing so is deliberately seeking negative attention. Yes, like a bratty child. You are not all retarded. So, I am supposed to threaten you with a good time? The things you crave? To encourage the negative behaviour? Thats nuts and no good Dom/Domme or parent would do that. If you are still doing that as an adult, your parents didn't do a good job and you probably should seek professional help to fix it. I worked with disturbed kids in SS also; they pull this crap all the time. We dont cater to them, either. They would be in charge then. Its inappropriate for adults and is an issue not to bring into an adult relationship regardless of role. I didn't see Caretakr say there is no room to work out difficult issues. I see Him say keep your word. Get over it.

Peace,
Goddess

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:21:33 PM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Oh, hi Noah!

Sure yes indeedy, I have my own baggage. Which I am trying to sort through.

The reason I am whining about this issue, is that I beat myself up over it on occasion. I'm trying to understand where it comes from, for I seemed to attract this sort.

I think it had a lot to do with my origional, rather silly "white knight healer", idiocy. Eventually, I got slapped around by enough of these women to get over it.

Still I run across the occasional one who sort of makes me shrink back down inside,very bad memories. And it's a knee jerk preservation reaction.....insanity in close proximity can be contageous.

So I pretty much look for the opposite now.

I think it is that you are also attracted to this sort...

As far as my PTSD... I never have been into a punishment kink. I have other issues as we all do. I do get anxiety which I deal with by sitting down and talking myself down. My Dom has witnessed this process and he thinks I handle my anxiety very well, because I do not spew on him because of it. He has had others who have. We all have problems, it is how we solve them that is a measure of our character.. we all have baggage, those who handle their baggage well do not foist it on others and can even take a bag or two for a loved one if needed... just my thoughts.

I was attracted to this sort, now I am not. I suppose they were simply more amenable to going along with a fantasy view I once held. I no longer hold those views.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 7/22/2006 1:27:31 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:30:05 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Hi a girl,

I am not questioning anyones ways of running their relationships. If caretkr chooses not to punish that is his perogative but to refuse to discuss it and tell his sub to get over it bitch is not healthy grounds for building a relationship.
Theres also the judgement issue which i find annoying. Caretkr does not know me and should not judge me by his own standards.

Hello again missturbation

I am in agreement on that. He also does not know me, my Master, nor my situation.

I was saying that I AM punished... it doesn't mean a *fix-all*, it doesn't indicate a loser or anything in between. It's a *how it is* .....for US.

If my Master behaved like Caretkr, I'd not BE where I am....I don't have a Master that spends time *pressing forum buttons* to re-enforce ideas he has. I don't have a Master that tolerates *messing around* for the sake of it...he is pretty straight about dopey drama...it doesn't wash.

I am certainly not in a position to judge relationships, especially of the bdsm kind. I am the owner and survivor of all kinds of relationships and I'll freely confess to being quite akin to a grotty puppy in the one I've been in for many a year.

I rarely make *mistakes* in my relationship...I KNOW what I'm supposed to be doing ......but I LIKE to romp free and totally give in to my hedonistic nature. I make mistakes in life, though...and I'd not even like to begin to to mention those.

I am thankful that I have a sincere, grounded chap leading from the front, so to speak......mind you, he hasn't any poisonous baggage nor has he created it either.

I wouldn't have the regard I have for him if he had ever presented himself in a spikey, spiteful way.

With regards, agirl

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:30:37 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Well then you are on your way to the slave of your dreams. I have been shit on before. I know it hurts, I have been embittered before, especially when I was left by a husband with an infant. It sucks. It hurts. It isn't fair, but I didn't get over it until I realized I had my part to play in the whole thing and then I was able to heal. I still haven't lived with another man for various reasons, something I think that is about to end if thing work out the way they seem to be. It was a hard road, but it was well worth it. I certainly wouldn't be as hopeful if I was still bitter about my life choices

Part of being ready for the right person (for me at least) meant that I had to forgive those who were just lost themselves. It helped me release the anger and be a better partner. Im not angry anymore.

As Noah says, you have a lot of value to say, sometimes it does get lost in your anger.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:36:44 PM

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Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Well then you are on your way to the slave of your dreams. I have been shit on before. I know it hurts, I have been embittered before, especially when I was left by a husband with an infant. It sucks. It hurts. It isn't fair, but I didn't get over it until I realized I had my part to play in the whole thing and then I was able to heal. I still haven't lived with another man for various reasons, something I think that is about to end if thing work out the way they seem to be. It was a hard road, but it was well worth it. I certainly wouldn't be as hopeful if I was still bitter about my life choices

Part of being ready for the right person (for me at least) meant that I had to forgive those who were just lost themselves. It helped me release the anger and be a better partner. Im not angry anymore.

As Noah says, you have a lot of value to say, sometimes it does get lost in your anger.

This is nothing to what I carried at one time.

I'll get there, thanks for listening.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:39:45 PM

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Yes and as your profile says, read your posts to know who you are--your anger rushes through as a flame thrower---best get your house in order before you invite another in.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:40:50 PM

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

<smiles & waves to Caretakr> Yup, I prefer adult behavior, too.

I must admit though, I don't always pull it off myself! LOL

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:45:03 PM

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Joined: 6/24/2006
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I'm not inviting anyone else in.

Not for at least three years, there is a lot of work to be done on many fronts. Why do you think I wrote it so? People who really know me, realize it's a "twit filter"-and that's why it's written so.

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:46:29 PM

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Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

<smiles & waves to Caretakr> Yup, I prefer adult behavior, too.

I must admit though, I don't always pull it off myself! LOL

Laughs, but there is the joyous child, and the one that demands more than can be given. Knowing the difference is what makes it right.

(in reply to Bearlee)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:46:44 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

*pokes head in to see this thread going well *

I would say a dominant does not "owe" a submissive punishment, or "punishment", for that matter. And a submissive that engages in melodramatics or topping from the bottom is doing neither themself nor their dominant a good service.

I never said a dominant owed a sub punishment so please dont put words in my mouth.
I said that a dom and sub should communicate about these things.
Telling your sub to get over it bitch is not a healthy form of communication when it comes to matters such as this.

And I never said you stated that , did I? *hears the sound of "No, Level" wafting from across the big pond.

You are not trash or anything of the sort, misst, don't misunderstand. You know I think well of you.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:49:11 PM

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I'm not inviting anyone else in.

Not for at least three years, there is a lot of work to be done on many fronts. Why do you think I wrote it so? People who really know me, realize it's a "twit filter"-and that's why it's written so.

Well then you have lots of time to get your things done, because no one will get to know you with that approach--better to say, " I am redesigning myself, contact me in 3 years".

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:49:52 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

He is saying that if he picks someone he needs to punish he has picked a loser. You may not be offended by that but i am.
Also saying you made the mistake run along and deal with it on your own, no i havent got time for you to be upset you let me down or erred.
Selfish ?

I read his comment as ig he picks a Person WHO NEEDS to be punished..not that if HE has to punish the person.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:50:35 PM

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
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*fast reply*

This post is beginning to sound like it is approaching the "group hug" stage. Finally, how pleasant!

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to Level)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:50:56 PM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I'm not inviting anyone else in.

Not for at least three years, there is a lot of work to be done on many fronts. Why do you think I wrote it so? People who really know me, realize it's a "twit filter"-and that's why it's written so.

Well then you have lots of time to get your things done, because no one will get to know you with that approach--better to say, " I am redesigning myself, contact me in 3 years".

You presume too much, I have many good friends here. I'm more than a few paltry words on a screen.

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 1:54:05 PM

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Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

He is saying that if he picks someone he needs to punish he has picked a loser. You may not be offended by that but i am.
Also saying you made the mistake run along and deal with it on your own, no i havent got time for you to be upset you let me down or erred.
Selfish ?

I read his comment as ig he picks a Person WHO NEEDS to be punished..not that if HE has to punish the person.

To expect to *need* to be punished is a self-fullfilling prophecy of failure. Who, in thier right minds, would desire such a one?

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 2:05:38 PM

Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I am curious Caretkr. In all of your hundreds of post, in at least two profiles that you've written, I've not read anything that would indicate what you bring to the table in a relationship. There is a lot of what you don't want, much about how you've been victimize by hoards of rabid, rampant, childish, topping from the bottom, mentally unstable, punishment hungry, princess subs who have caused you nothing but anguish but not one word that states who the hell you are.

Who the hell are you?

Just my humble opinion. (That qualifies my insult right?)

I do understand not wishing to deal with self destructive people, but what are you doing to make your life happier? Aside from cutting down others?

What rewards do you feel you are receiving from this constant bemoaning?

< Message edited by LiliesDoGrow -- 7/22/2006 2:07:56 PM >

(in reply to Caretakr)

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