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RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 12:34:48 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Some very good points, Gauge.

But THIS...
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
...it is better to lose the relationship for being open and honest than it is to be silent and lose it anyway.
Is what we have been saying for the last page or two.

Or like the (in)famous saying: It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.



But I don't want to lose him. I'm not ready to do that. Not over some noob subby cum lately. She's not worth losing him.

But but but.... you are missing the label.
You WILL lose him one way or the other by clamming up.
This needs to be discussed and out in the open.

If you aren't prepared to lose him, then be prepared to be dumped.
It really is as simple as that. It really is.



I'll talk to him as soon as I can.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 12:36:07 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		I really hope you are right.
But given what you have described thus far, it doesn't bode well.

Just be prepared for the unthinkable is all I can say.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 12:52:58 PM   
QuietCascade


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/25/2016
Status: offline 		Aww.

Shame call me sometime. So may liars and creeps on here.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 1:09:18 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline 		Just spoke with Daddy. I don't know if I feel better, but I am glad I didn't keep my feelings to myself. He says he was confused about how I felt about her and that he thought we were getting along. He's not upset with me though. He said his feelings for me can't even compare to what he's started with this new girl, and he's not even sure she understands what a D/s relationship really entails. He promised me he'd talk with her tonight. And I asked that he makes sure to answer my call after I get out of the club because I will need to talk to him after my scene. I also asked that I be his only baby girl. He's my Daddy. Not her's. He can be her master or Sir or Dom, but he's my Daddy.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 1:14:22 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983

Just spoke with Daddy. I don't know if I feel better, but I am glad I didn't keep my feelings to myself. He says he was confused about how I felt about her and that he thought we were getting along. He's not upset with me though. He said his feelings for me can't even compare to what he's started with this new girl, and he's not even sure she understands what a D/s relationship really entails. He promised me he'd talk with her tonight. And I asked that he makes sure to answer my call after I get out of the club because I will need to talk to him after my scene. I also asked that I be his only baby girl. He's my Daddy. Not her's. He can be her master or Sir or Dom, but he's my Daddy.


See? It wasn't at all like you feared it would be.

Glad you talked with him and it appears that you will be talking a lot more. Perhaps, if he dumps her, you can ask to be involved with the selection process next time.

Please, come back and update us. Best of luck to you both.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 1:30:02 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

can i clear up Op is a well known sock - let us see the desperate monsters who back him up -it was his point of doing this...you are no better

Have you really fallen out of your tree WD??

If, as you say, he is a well known sock, then you should be able to provide proof of such.
Your ramblings and a random dude pic is not verifiable proof.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 1:42:41 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983

Just spoke with Daddy. I don't know if I feel better, but I am glad I didn't keep my feelings to myself. He says he was confused about how I felt about her and that he thought we were getting along. He's not upset with me though. He said his feelings for me can't even compare to what he's started with this new girl, and he's not even sure she understands what a D/s relationship really entails. He promised me he'd talk with her tonight. And I asked that he makes sure to answer my call after I get out of the club because I will need to talk to him after my scene. I also asked that I be his only baby girl. He's my Daddy. Not her's. He can be her master or Sir or Dom, but he's my Daddy.


See? It wasn't at all like you feared it would be.

Glad you talked with him and it appears that you will be talking a lot more. Perhaps, if he dumps her, you can ask to be involved with the selection process next time.

Please, come back and update us. Best of luck to you both.


Thank you. I will.


P.s. this guy getting weird in my thread is scaring me. Should I be concerned? Is he going to try and hack me or something. This is why I hate being online. People can be scary

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 1:49:50 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		I wouldn't worry about WD.
He's a mystery unto himself and most of us ignore him (as in, put him on hide) as most of the time he makes so sense at all.



_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:11:57 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline 		Thank you, I didn't know I could do that. Hiding now:)

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:31:31 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline 		Should I post this on the ask a Master forum as well, to possibly get more incite? I tend to over think things and need to talk things out.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:34:44 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		I think you meant 'insight'. lol.

No, it is against the rules to be spamming a single topic in more than one forum.

And FYI, many replies here are from both submissives and dominants.
You've gotten good advice from both sides.
Posting the same thing elsewhere isn't going to avail you of anything more except criticism for spamming.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:39:19 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		This isn't polyamory, it's two vees. You and your husband, you and him. But hubby and daddy have no relationship.

Same with him. Him and you, him and her. But you and her have no relationship.

Sounds like in future you would do better to take a page from your husband's book: don't ask, don't tell.
But the more you try to control his other relationships, the more you're trying to control him. It doesn't matter if he's daddy to a dozen different women. Because what he does with them doesn't take anything you need away from you. Is he meeting your needs? Great, that's all that matters.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:50:23 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		That's all well and good Des, but her jealousy is getting the better of her.
And that's the crux of her problem - jealousy of the other woman in her daddy's life.
And what's worse, she has kept that fact from him so he has no clue that she feels this way.

Even if he is meeting her needs, she can't seem to accept the other sub her daddy has chosen for himself.
That problem won't reslove itself.
It needs to be openly discussed and sorted out by the dominant and I have a feeling she isn't going to like the outcome.
As I pointed out earlier, if she can't keep the green-eyed monster at bay, she may well have to consider leaving him or putting up with something she doesn't like.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:57:09 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

That's all well and good Des, but her jealousy is getting the better of her.
And that's the crux of her problem - jealousy of the other woman in her daddy's life.
And what's worse, she has kept that fact from him so he has no clue that she feels this way.

Even if he is meeting her needs, she can't seem to accept the other sub her daddy has chosen for himself.
That problem won't reslove itself.
It needs to be openly discussed and sorted out by the dominant and I have a feeling she isn't going to like the outcome.
As I pointed out earlier, if she can't keep the green-eyed monster at bay, she may well have to consider leaving him or putting up with something she doesn't like.



Refer to post #87. She has talked with him about this since she first posted.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 2:57:19 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

This isn't polyamory, it's two vees. You and your husband, you and him. But hubby and daddy have no relationship.

Same with him. Him and you, him and her. But you and her have no relationship.

Sounds like in future you would do better to take a page from your husband's book: don't ask, don't tell.
But the more you try to control his other relationships, the more you're trying to control him. It doesn't matter if he's daddy to a dozen different women. Because what he does with them doesn't take anything you need away from you. Is he meeting your needs? Great, that's all that matters.


Fundamentally and logically I know you are right. Compartimentalization is a new concept for me. I think this experience will help me with that mindset

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 3:00:33 PM   
Aquanerd1983


Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

I think you meant 'insight'. lol.

No, it is against the rules to be spamming a single topic in more than one forum.

And FYI, many replies here are from both submissives and dominants.
You've gotten good advice from both sides.
Posting the same thing elsewhere isn't going to avail you of anything more except criticism for spamming.



Yes insight, lol. Oopsie

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 3:14:49 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

This isn't polyamory, it's two vees. You and your husband, you and him. But hubby and daddy have no relationship.

Same with him. Him and you, him and her. But you and her have no relationship.

Sounds like in future you would do better to take a page from your husband's book: don't ask, don't tell.
But the more you try to control his other relationships, the more you're trying to control him. It doesn't matter if he's daddy to a dozen different women. Because what he does with them doesn't take anything you need away from you. Is he meeting your needs? Great, that's all that matters.


Fundamentally and logically I know you are right. Compartimentalization is a new concept for me. I think this experience will help me with that mindset

Compartimentalization isn't so new to you - you managed to do that with hubby and kept your daddy relationship quite separate from your hubby and family.
What you didn't want to do is precisely that with your daddy because you thought you'd have him all to yourself.

It sounds to me as if you went into this arrangement blind and didn't do any research before you jumped into it.
If you can't manage to keep things distinctly separate, you may have to wrestle with yourself to work out what is best for you.

As I said earlier, I really hope it works out for you.
But you might have to do some real soul-searching to calm the beast within.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 4:08:56 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		couldn't have said it better myself.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 4:12:03 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		what I mean by doomed if she wants only sex and he actually wants a BDSM relationship it's going to be doomed. You're in some sort of subfrenzy and you're not thinking with your head, you are so eager to submit to anyone even if you are married or if the other person is married, doesn't matter you just want to submit and that's deadly in the long run, that's why so many submissive females get hurt or even worse.

(in reply to Aquanerd1983)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable - 8/27/2016 4:17:44 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		And how many times have we seen exactly that on these forums over the years??

It must be at least many dozens if not into the hundreds.
I've lost count.



_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 100
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