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RE: Most people have herpes simplex - 10/24/2007 7:40:38 PM

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Joined: 10/22/2007
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For all you cold sore sufferers out there (including me who got it from getting regular vanilla bedtime kisses from my mother) ....

"Because a herpetic infection usually infects one site, such as the mouth in the case of HSV-1, following the initial infection, the patient develops antibodies (seroconversion) and cannot get another HSV-1 infection elsewhere, such as a herpes whitlow or genital HSV-1 infection. However even a monogamous couple, where the female is seronegative with a discordant partner (seropositive) she runs a 30% per year risk of contracting an HSV-1 infection. If she contracts an oral HSV-1 infection first, after seroconversion, she cannot get a genital HSV-1 infection."
cited from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes

So the trick is to kiss your partner until they get a cold sore before going down on them, then the virus cannot be transmitted to the genitals, or have a mother like mine who although she didnt know it innoculated me at an early age from ever getting HSV1 genitally!

(in reply to Esinem)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 10/24/2007 10:20:41 PM

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Joined: 1/12/2007
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If you are comfortable with the idea of including the fact that you have HSV then by all means. I think it is not something you would want to share right away. You need to get to know someone and be able to trust them to share that kind of information. Remember that it is personal information and its not something that everyone wants to broadcast. If worse come to worse, before you become sexual get basic STI/D testing. If you really want to know then just ask.

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 10/25/2007 2:57:04 AM

susie

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It might be worth pointing out to those answering the OP that he has not been logged into the site for over a year. This is an old post resurrected from the depths.

(in reply to TakenPet)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 10/25/2007 4:16:57 AM

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Im sorry you are having a hard time
calm down...

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 10/25/2007 11:15:02 AM

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All diseases in extremis can sound very alarming. For example, what do you think the mystery illness replaced with 'xxx' is in the description below? You might be suprised that we take little or no precautions to limit infection given the seriousness of the sysmptoms:

Xxx can cause a variety of symptoms. They can be mild or severe depending upon the type of virus and your age and overall health. Although it is a respiratory virus, xxx can affect other body systems, making you feel sick all over. Typical xxx symptoms include headache, fever, chills, cough and body aches. Intestinal symptoms are uncommon. Although most people are ill for only a few days, some people have a much more serious illness, such as pneumonia, and may need to be hospitalized. Thousands of people die each year in the United States from xxx or related complications. Most symptoms subside after 2 or 3 days. However, fever sometimes lasts up to 5 days, cough may persist for 10 days or longer, and airway irritation may take 6 to 8 weeks to completely resolve. Weakness and fatigue may persist for several days or occasionally for weeks. With children and teenagers, it is advisable to be alert for symptoms of Reye's syndrome, a rare, but serious complication. Symptoms of Reye's syndrome are nausea and vomiting, and more seriously, neurological problems such as confusion or delirium. The syndrome has been associated with the use of aspirin to relieve xxx symptoms.
Maybe you guessed it was flu . Unlike flu, HSV does not kill thousands. It's generally only a very minor skin complaint. Interestingly, most countries other than the UK and US do not attach much importance to it. However, most countries have not had an intensive marketing campaign by major drug companies to sell HSV treatments of dubious benefit

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/22/2008 7:33:55 PM

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Joined: 12/7/2007
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I know that this will not help anyone at all, but I just thought I would let you into the last few entries I made in my journal. For some reason, I find my condition humorous, not because of the condition itself, but, well...read for yourself and let me know if you find humor in it, too:

1/22/2008 6:54:04 PM

Coming from the understanding that it would be foolish of me expect others to be attracted to me through my profile after reading it--due to the herpes thing--I RARELY write to people I find attractive. But on occasion, when some unbelievably fitting profile catches my attention...well I am only human.
   "Not interested in a man with herpes"...it would be a relief to hear that...what bothers me about any of this is seeing a profile where a sub/slave is looking for a Dom/Master, and they reply to my message that they are "not looking." Fair enough, and that is everyone's right. I would have hoped for a bit more honesty, though; especially considering a week later they claim to be under consideration by someone or seeing in a chatroom that they "finally found someone."
   If you are looking (and your profile says as much), and by some slim chance you read my profile because I wrote you a message, and it is the s.t.d. that bothers you...please be honest. It will not hurt my feelings at all, and will actually make me feel better--knowing that is the reason, rather than that I may be considered some repulsive troll who offends the senses with what I have written in my profile or by my picture alone. I mean, I am being honest up front with everyone about the condition...all I ask is for the same honesty in return. And yes, I know to some this will sound bitter...but unfortunately, that is sometimes how honesty sounds. I am not bitter at all, just confused by the demand for honesty on this site, and the lack of it when it comes knocking. Be safe, and more later.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1/22/2008 9:17:31 PM

Here again to provoke more messages telling me not to be bitter...but, before you send me a message of that sort, please spend a day in the shoes I walk in.

Not that I am, and if you knew me or anyone who does, you would know that I am so far from bitter, that I am borderline sickly-sweet. My son thinks I am a hoot, and my vanilla friends keep dropping by uninvited just to have some fun and entertainment...does not sound bitter to me...
But let us start from the cause, and in the end, you judge what the effect should be:

1) I receive alot of messages (no joke) telling me how nasty and sick I am to be looking for someone when I have herpes. Some tell me there are sites for people like me and make some nice suggestions. Well, this site just happens to deal with my lifestyle choices, and any std sites I have seen are out for the money, not the dating community. Not to mention, try putting a profile on them telling how you are into this lifestyle--bet it doesn't stay up too long.

2) Read the previous post about people "not looking." That is a one of the nicer situations.

3) I was on this site under another name for quite a long time, and had ALOT of friends, before I found out I have herpes. As soon as I changed my profile and told them, however, I have not heard from any of them.

4) Under my previous name here, I could go into a chatroom, say hello, and have wonderful conversations with almost everyone. Now when I go into the chatrooms, rarely does anyone reply when I say hello, nor does anyone even respond when I ask a question or try to participate in conversation.

Now, with all that said, and a smile still on my face...I have to repeat that I am not bitter; I am just telling the tale of how people react. It is endlessly funny to me how people jump to the "b" word when you describe some of the behaviors other people display. Their behaviors have nothing to do with me, it is just their view of me; and they don't make me feel any other way but frustrated with the views of the seemingly uneducated and insensitive majority.

   I think, given the fact that I already have three dating/relationship strikes against me (herpes, single-parent, and a desire for the bdsm lifestyle) I am pretty happy with who I am and how I am dealing with these little things. The main point, I believe, is that I am the same person I was a few months ago...I write the same, I speak and act the same, hell, I even walk the same. Maybe I should be bitter by now, but it simply would not be me.

The main question, therefore, would have to be...if I were to become so, does a person turn bitter on their own, or does the actions and words of others lead to that condition?

_____________________________

Sometimes I'm so hip, I can't see over my own pelvic bone

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/22/2008 7:56:30 PM

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From: Buffalo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: darksdesire

HSV is so prevalent. I've known so many people who have it, although not a lover. It's manageable, and I really doubt that it would keep me from being with someone I desired. There are ways to work around it and protect one's partner. I just don't see it as a big deal.

This is taken from an information website on HSV

quote:

Other Considerations
Pregnancy

Herpes viruses can be transmitted to a newborn during vaginal delivery in mothers infected with herpes viruses, especially if the mother has active lesions in the vagina at the time of delivery. If you do have active lesions at that time, delivery by cesarean section (often called C-section) will be recommended to avoid infecting your baby.

Special Populations

Newborn baby – herpes infections contracted during delivery from the mother can lead to meningitis, herpes infection in the blood, chronic skin infection, and may even be fatal.
If your immune system is suppressed (from, for example, human immunodeficiency virus [HIV], receipt of chemotherapy for cancer, long term use of high doses of steroids, or use of medications that intentionally suppress the immune system such as following organ transplant) are more likely to suffer from complications of herpes and are more likely to have severe, frequent outbreaks.

Warnings and Precautions

If you are diagnosed with genital herpes, you should be tested for other sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia and gonorrhea.

Prognosis and Complications

Herpes is a chronic, recurrent infection. The initial symptoms usually appear within 1 to 3 weeks of exposure to the virus and last 7 to 10 days (for oral lesions), 7 to 14 days (for genital lesions). Usually the number of outbreaks is greatest in the first year and higher for HSV-2 genital lesions than HSV-1 oral lesions. Each year after that, the number of outbreaks typically diminishes and they become progressively less severe. But, you can never completely get rid of the virus.
Complications of herpes include:
Herpetic keratitis – herpes infection of the eye leading to scaring within the cornea and possible blindness

Persistent herpes infection, without lesion-free periods

Herpes infection in the esophagus

Herpes infection of the liver which can lead to cirrhosis (liver failure)

Encephalitis and/or meningitis – serious brain infections

Lung infection

Eczema herpetiform – widespread herpes across the skin

As you can see...it IS more than just an occasional outbreak. It can be much much more. So why would you assume that anyone should be less concerned over their health just because it is no big deal to you?

my issue with quoting information like this, while being good for education and all, is that they don't cite stats. how often? what are the real risks? how often does this occur? how many pregnancies with those with hsv actually have these problems? what are the prevelance of these other side effects?

i'm not saying that hsv is a walk in the park but at the same time without the rates this information CAN be interpreted as almost a scare tactic--i think what most people forget is that most diseases on this planet can kill you if you're not careful. example--the spanish flu. but to say that watch out this may happen to you without citing how much of a risk you really are in doesn't do much good either. this is personally one of my professional (edit: professional as opposed to not sociological/school related) pet peeves--everyone's talking about the risk of STDs and oral sex--yes you can get sick, you can from just about any form of sexual contact with fluid exchange. but how often are the actual stats quoted? what are the actual risks? about how many of how many people engaging in unprotected oral for example actually contract such and such a virus? not to get too deep into the social morality arguement but there is a school of thought that one of the best forms of social control is fear--get them so afraid of the after effect they won't engage in it at all.

and the thing with this information, at least to me--is that is states that most of these issues occur in high risk populations to begin with, where almost any virus (to my understanding) will have a higher risk of complication anyway.

i guess my point is it's great to try to educate but at the same time information out of context can do as much damage as misinformation.

< Message edited by fluffyswitch -- 1/22/2008 8:26:39 PM >

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/22/2008 10:01:56 PM

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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domhsv

what bothers me about any of this is seeing a profile where a sub/slave is looking for a Dom/Master, and they reply to my message that they are "not looking." Fair enough, and that is everyone's right. I would have hoped for a bit more honesty, though; especially considering a week later they claim to be under consideration by someone or seeing in a chatroom that they "finally found someone."

Only because the OP himself resurrected this...

You are jumping to a very big conclusion. Just because someone is not looking, doesn't mean that someone is not going to find them. I am not looking, I have been working on some issues, very intensely, for about six months. I have felt that I could not enter into another relationship until I had this other garbage worked out.

In that time I have made some very good friends. One of those friends has become more, and we are meeting in about two weeks. But have I been looking? No. And anyone who randomly contacted me from the other side would be told the same thing. Yet here I am, telling you about this person that I was not looking for.

I have yet to become 'friends' with anyone that randomly contacted me from the other side. My friends have come from this side, from people I have gotten to know, and who have gotten to know me.

I read thru several pages of this old thread, I've read the journal entries you posted here, and, I'm not sure how to say this any other way... I could not see myself being friends with you due to your negativity and the boulder-sized chip that appears to be sitting on your shoulder. I have enough darkness in my life, I don't need more. Perhaps things would change for you if your outlook on those things changed.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Domhsv)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/22/2008 11:51:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domhsv

what bothers me about any of this is seeing a profile where a sub/slave is looking for a Dom/Master, and they reply to my message that they are "not looking." Fair enough, and that is everyone's right. I would have hoped for a bit more honesty, though; especially considering a week later they claim to be under consideration by someone or seeing in a chatroom that they "finally found someone."

Only because the OP himself resurrected this...

You are jumping to a very big conclusion. Just because someone is not looking, doesn't mean that someone is not going to find them. I am not looking, I have been working on some issues, very intensely, for about six months. I have felt that I could not enter into another relationship until I had this other garbage worked out.

In that time I have made some very good friends. One of those friends has become more, and we are meeting in about two weeks. But have I been looking? No. And anyone who randomly contacted me from the other side would be told the same thing. Yet here I am, telling you about this person that I was not looking for.

I have yet to become 'friends' with anyone that randomly contacted me from the other side. My friends have come from this side, from people I have gotten to know, and who have gotten to know me.

I read thru several pages of this old thread, I've read the journal entries you posted here, and, I'm not sure how to say this any other way... I could not see myself being friends with you due to your negativity and the boulder-sized chip that appears to be sitting on your shoulder. I have enough darkness in my life, I don't need more. Perhaps things would change for you if your outlook on those things changed.

Cali

You presume from a false assumption, as you clearly stated that you ARE NOT LOOKING.
...and this is assuming I would want to be "friends" with someone who obviously cannot see through anything but their own beliefs. Negativity? The only thing I saw negative was in your reply, as my post was merely stating that which has happened BEFORE any of the journal entries I made. I don't see where you could have found negativity in anything I wrote, other than not being able to understand the short-sightedness, dishonesty and/or rudeness of people I have encountered here. Following from my opening statement to your reply, I do not send messages to those who say they are not looking, and any I have sent are only to those who have something in their profile stating the fact that they ARE looking. I think if you go back and read my entry again and your first-line response to it, you may notice that any conclusion-jumping was on your part. Yet another problem with your diagnosis of why you would not want to be my friend: you finding fault in me saying that I don't think people are acting properly towards this problem. That represents a chip on someone's shoulder? Get in touch with reality and try to understand that not everyone deals with things and has them turn out as sparklingly as you claim to have experienced. One thing I do not need in my life either is darkness...and I find that darkness most prevalent in two kinds of people...1) those who are themselves negative in character, who have to criticize others for writing/saying what they feel (example: person A gets hit in the head with a hammer by person B--person B and C (you) then criticizes and puts down person A for saying, "ouch"); 2)and those who are the saintly cheerleaders who say such good things have happened to them, so buck up and act like them and you will turn out so much the better, whereas if you don't act and view the world as they are, you have a chip on your shoulder.
   Therein lies the proverbial chip, not in what I have said, but in your preachingly rubbing it in someone's face that since it has all worked out so fantastically for you, it should be so for everyone else, or it is their failing. Basically, I find your response to my post both insulting and presumptuous, as all I get from your reply is you did not take the time to process what I wrote, that yours is the only experience that matters, and the only way to deal with it is the way that you have.
   Someone says degrading things to me in unsolicited messages and it is I who have a problem. People treat me with respect and friendliness until I make the declaration that I have a disease, and afterwards they are rude and no longer friendly, and that again is my fault. Maybe a career change is in order, in that you would best serve the world in child counseling, telling kids to stop complaining and that they have a chip on their shoulder when they say they have been abused. Or better yet, a grief counsellor...you could tell people who have just experienced a loss and are sharing how they feel about it...to just get over it.
   Hesitantly in closing, your reply to this post only serves to answer the last line of my previous post...it has to be the actions and words of others which turns good people bitter--and if you do not believe this, go back and read your reply when you sober up; but I am still a happy person, though must admit I find myself ashamed to have such a narrow-minded reply attached to something I wrote. I am finding that through your thoughtlessness, I have finally experienced that bitter taste others talk about...you can have it back though, as I am sure that bitterness and judgemental attitudes go hand in hand.

_____________________________

Sometimes I'm so hip, I can't see over my own pelvic bone

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/22/2008 11:59:47 PM

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From: California
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I am not going to refute every false statement you made in your reply, there are simply too many. You merely removed any doubt of your negativity, darkness and bitterness. Just to remove any further doubt, I did not express interest in being friends, merely showing how your attitude puts people off. And if I'm wrong, I hope you receive many warm wishes from this thread.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Domhsv)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 12:04:13 AM

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LMAO....Yeah, i'll take my warm wishes with a side of disinfectant please....

And OP, it's not Your HSV i'm worried about catching...It's that nasty funky attitude...ugh!!

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 12:16:20 AM

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Oh for fucks sake, get over it. You have HSV, not 3 testicles. HSV just isn't that interesting. Get a new hobby.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

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(in reply to Kalista07)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 12:18:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Oh for fucks sake, get over it. You have HSV, not 3 testicles. HSV just isn't that interesting. Get a new hobby.

Chizeeling the gum i was chewing off of my monitor now...

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 12:52:28 AM

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I know a few people with HSV...some of them are posters. I would never out them, and I know it must be difficult for them to try and find the right moment to tell a potential SO. Just be patient...you're not alone, trust me.

< Message edited by spanklette -- 1/23/2008 12:53:04 AM >

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 1:01:38 AM

Maestro66babycak

Posts: 396
Status: offline

Well I read this entire thread and I really wonder why this months old thread was resurrected. I am a friendly person and have several people on my friends list, none of which are HSV infected. ( yes I had to go and look it up -didnt have a clue as to what it was at first) I personally think that you should only tell the people that you want to have sex or a relationship with about your disease. As long as you take care not to spread it , why does the whole world need to know?
By the way, may I ask... how did you get it?

< Message edited by Maestro66babycak -- 1/23/2008 1:11:25 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to DomwithHSV)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 2:27:53 AM

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Sorry Kali.

It's just ffs, he's been going on about it since 2006. He even resurrected this thread to go on about it some more. I mean how much can anyone say about HSV?

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to Maestro66babycak)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 10:24:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Sorry Kali.

It's just ffs, he's been going on about it since 2006. He even resurrected this thread to go on about it some more. I mean how much can anyone say about HSV?

It's okay MM,
i understand...He's an attention whore...And not the hot sexy kind...More like the skanky, nasty, yucky, pouty kind..

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 10:46:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Sorry Kali.

It's just ffs, he's been going on about it since 2006. He even resurrected this thread to go on about it some more. I mean how much can anyone say about HSV?

He may have resurrected it but it appears to be a different handle. I read through all of it, The first was DOMWITHHSV who was 45 and from New york whos profile shows a much better attitude. This is HSVDOM from Missouri who is 36 and has the negativity.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 10:55:08 AM

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Joined: 7/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

He may have resurrected it but it appears to be a different handle. I read through all of it, The first was DOMWITHHSV who was 45 and from New york whos profile shows a much better attitude. This is HSVDOM from Missouri who is 36 and has the negativity.

Me thinks it smells like we have a troll in our midst.....

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Mmmm...no one like me I see (i.e. HSV) - 1/23/2008 10:56:44 AM

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Is it the same person? I just thought it was. Maybe not.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Kalista07)

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