RE: Is It Really All About Sex?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Is It Really All About Sex?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is It Really All About Sex?

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/2/2011 11:12:01 PM

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Annnnnnd again....agrees.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/2/2011 11:12:56 PM

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Imagine if we every get together to drink....

_____________________________

(in reply to Aynne88)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/2/2011 11:13:24 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ok....I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks this is spiritual might as well go to castle realm. Seriously.
These are just relationships that hopefully turn you on like a great relationship should.
They aren't anymore enlightened than a vanilla relationship.

Don't misunderstand, Aileen. I'm the one who brought up spirituality. And I didn't say my submission was spiritual. I said it's my spirituality which drives me to be who I am and do what I do - sex and submission included. If anyone here has said their submission is spiritual, then I've missed that. Although I do recall LuckyAlbatross often saying sex was spiritual to her. And she's not really the CastleRealm type.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/2/2011 11:14:50 PM

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Imagine if we every get together to drink....

New York baby! Seriously...how fun would it be?

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/2/2011 11:24:39 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Whao Nelly, wait a second. Please explain how this: "I do it because it brings me inner joy and that joy fulfills me spiritually. It's not a sexual drive, although my sexuality is a part of it. It's just more encompassed than that. The fulfillment is deeper than my sexuality. It exceeds it"

in any way at all is saying you are superficial? I'll repeat - I was talking about what brings ME joy, and where MY fulfillment comes from. How in the heck is that a comparison to you in any way? How is it saying my submission is deeper than yours? I was talking about my own sexuality and what drives me personally. You asked a question - what drives you - and I answered it. Why in the world would you take that personally?? And how in the hell does that make me a liar?

Hannah really - it's not all about you. When people talk about their own experiences, that's exactly what they're talking about.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/2/2011 11:33:05 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

quote:

LMAO now that was funny you two are almost cute. ALMOST

thank you, we're trying.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to ThatsMissBitch)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 12:00:13 AM

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Actually, I'm not proud of it at all, the fact that you think I even could be only shows how completely you misunderstand my love for Hanners, and the concept of love itself, or at least the way I understand it. I love her the way she is, I have no desire to change her. Part of what makes Hanners Hanners is that she swears, so I am proudest of her when she is just herself without trying to fit in.

I am actually a little embarrassed for her and disappointed when she deliberately cleans up her posts in an effort to have people take her seriously. One reason for this is because she is bowing to pressure when she does it, and the Hanners I know and love doesn't do that unless she feels it is important. I don't think making a point on here is important enough for her to do that, the fact that she does at times feel that it is, is to my eye, one of her endearing little weaknesses. But her weaknesses are parts of her I love as well.

Another reason I dislike it when she does it, is because it rarely works. She will censor herself to make the point, and some stupid little snot will come back and make a remark about how there isn't a single fuck in her post, rather than actually addressing what she put in her post.

So to summarize; no Heather isn't even the slightest bit proud when Hanners censors herself for the benefit of narrow-minded people who won't even bother paying attention to her anyway. As far as Heather is concerned, anybody who can't or won't pay attention to what Hanners says because of the way she says it can kiss Heather's pretty little ass. They are petty, narrow-minded, bigoted little people who are slaves to social convention, and they and their opinions are about as important to Heather as what Heather flushes down the toilet every day.

Now, Miss winspiritsbaby, either answer the questions she asked you, or fuck off.

There may be some narrow-minded people who may take exception to the willful use of profanity, but to describe everyone in that manner is painting too broad of a brush-stroke.

When an individual uses profanity so liberally, it suggests they are incapable of expressing themselves in a more intelligent manner. Please note that I am not saying anyone doing so is unintelligent. What I'm saying is that on the surface it gives the reader the impression of that individual in a way that is not flattering.

I can't imagine that Hannah consistently speaks this way in her interactions with co-workers or anyone she interacts with in public. So why are we not afforded the same level of respect she would give to those she deals with in every day life?

Profanity is rarely necessary to communicate effectively. IMHO, I don't see that Hannah needs to use profanity as frequently as she does. She's an intelligent person and, again, IMHO, she's doing herself a disservice by using profanity as much as she does. I get the impression she does so more as an outlet than for anything else.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 12:11:11 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

I can't imagine that Hannah consistently speaks this way in her interactions with co-workers or anyone she interacts with in public. So why are we not afforded the same level of respect she would give to those she deals with in every day life?

Myself, and Hanners, and people who have met her have said on several occasions that she does indeed speak that way. She has afforded you the exact same respect she does give those she deals with in everyday life.

Now, as has been suggested before, if you wish to discuss Hanners and her shortcomings, then make a thread to do it on or do it via cmail amongst yourselves, or even with me if you want. But it really isn't the topic of the thread.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 12:23:28 AM

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

I can't imagine that Hannah consistently speaks this way in her interactions with co-workers or anyone she interacts with in public. So why are we not afforded the same level of respect she would give to those she deals with in every day life?
Myself, and Hanners, and people who have met her have said on several occasions that she does indeed speak that way. She has afforded you the exact same respect she does give those she deals with in everyday life.

Now, as has been suggested before, if you wish to discuss Hanners and her shortcomings, then make a thread to do it on or do it via cmail amongst yourselves, or even with me if you want. But it really isn't the topic of the thread.

You expressed your opinion on the matter, away from the topic of the thread. I am allowed to express mine.

Again, I can't imagine her speaking this way to people she interacts with in everyday life and this would include people she doesn't know, such as the cashier at the grocery store.

Despite my careful wording, you took my meaning as an affront. I can see why you did though, regardless of my actual words.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 1:00:45 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

I didn't take your words as an affront. Sorry if I gave that impression. I only responded to the other comment because it referenced me directly. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have, but I objected to the implication that I was so shallow as to be ashamed of the woman I love.

I responded to you honestly, you say you don't believe me, fine. I have no intention of attempting to convince you, it really isn't of any importance if you think she is foul mouthed in person or not.

I then suggested that there were more appropriate venues for you to use to discuss her. I did this because, this has happened before, where a thread derails into discussing Hanners' style, rather than her points, and it then degenerates shortly to discussing Hanners' mental, ethical, and moral state. And the thread gets pulled. So, my suggestion really was an effort to keep the thread from going bust.

If you wish to discuss her, then by all means cmail me, I would be happy to, Hanners is my favorite topic of thought and discussion.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 1:09:43 AM

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Wow. Talk about a shitstorm. I should probably not get involved because I hate this sort of thing, but my inner psychology geek is kicking me to respond, so here goes.

The problem here is that this whole argument (from most if not all sides) is riddled with these:

Most prevalently, in my opinion, #3 on the list. I think that there are other explanations.

Yes. Procreation of a species is the entire (biological) purpose of their being. But that is not the only thing that makes up an individual. I am not trying to justify the argument of spirituality (it's not my cup of tea) but the intellectual, personality, and behavioral. Someone earlier brought up Maslow's hierarchy of human needs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg
If you will notice, sex is one of the most basic--at the bottom of the pyramid. But it is possible that for some people, the D/s dynamic of their relationship or their submission/dominance is not based in the sex. It is possible that for them it satisfies another need such as security or safety or belonging (things that become important to us as humans when our most basic needs are already met, and mind you not everyone's drive for sex is the same so for some, little to no actual sexual action is required to fulfill that need.)

It is also worth taking into account that dominance or submission is or at least can be a personality trait, something that is tied to their biology and genetics but is also created environmentally over time, i.e. not purely biological but intellectual as well. Our personality is related to our most basic needs, which essentially you can call "sustenance of life." A person, or animal, develops a pattern of behavior (personality) based on how the environment (physical and social) responded to their behavior. Since every living thing experiences a slightly different "environment" (experiences in its lifetime,) every living thing develops a pattern of behaving differently. This is relevant in saying that dominance and submission, as dynamics in a relationship, are (or can be) traits that develop because they worked successfully for the individual in question--they, at some point in their life, developed the tendency to behave this certain way because they received positive feedback in some form. Successful feedback is essential to an individual's "sustenance of life," in the way that the individual learns to behave that way to live. To procreate, one must exist and live and sustain that life.

So really, it is not a question of what is "deeper," because it is all related--think of it linearly, as a flat, one dimensional plane rather than a shape that encompasses depth. As such it's not "just" about sex (or at least, it doesn't have to be--for some, it is), but yes, it does involve it, as a lot of things do on some basic level. There's no "right" way.

EDIT: I would also like to add this: Humans being a sentient species, that is a big reason why people here (and in other threads containing similar subject matter) are answering this question taking into account mostly intellectual factors, not looking at the biological factors. We are already aware of the influence of our biology as hard fact, so when asked a question pointed at something that takes into account personal opinion, we answer it from the intellectual/personal standpoint.

< Message edited by RaspberryLemon -- 8/3/2011 1:34:01 AM >

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 3:12:53 AM

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

Ha. Some light begins to dawn.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:08:31 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

well it seems that heather and i are ass whores as well. not really such bad company i guess, we may be annoying as fuck in our own ways, but at least we're honest about what drives us.

I guess I'm an ass whore too then because I see what you're getting at. Yes the biological urge (for lack of a better word) is one of if not the strongest one we have. In encompasses so much of our lives, we are - consciously or not - looking for someone to help carry on our species. That means that sex pervades most of what we do, we just aren't aware of it.

Zeph

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 4:43:54 AM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I would like to point out a couple of things as a fast reply -
This is NOBODY's thread - including the OP. Sorry. Just because one person begins a conversation doesn't mean they get to be the driver to where it meanders off to.

Sex and spirituality - I don't think I can agree that this is not the thread for it. Sex is deeply spiritual for a lot of people. Love (of which sex is a part) is a spiritual experience for a lot of people. Going into sub space / dom space can be a deeply spiritual experience for people, submitting one's will is definitely a spiritual foundation of AA and all the 12 step programs, of most major religions, and of deep meditation. Sexuality is addressed in all of these. To say that it is not fundamentally spiritual for some people is offensive and flat out wrong.

And if you DO take that stance that sex is not ever a spiritual experience, that's fine. I'll just think it's sad that you've not ever experienced that particular gift. It could be, though, purely semantics.

best,
sunshine

*edited to remove second closing.

2nd edit in response to the Mod warning -
"You" means general you as in "One person" rather than in response to ... well heck... in response to myself. I had also hoped my "fast reply" covered that.

If however that was not meant for Miss Sweet as 3.14, it's all fun and games until the thread gets pulled!

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 8/3/2011 5:38:39 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:05:57 AM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I'll answer your questions, Hannah. I do it because it brings me inner joy and that joy fulfills me spiritually. It's not a sexual drive, although my sexuality is a part of it. It's just more encompassed than that. The fulfillment is deeper than my sexuality. It exceeds it.

All creatures have one and only one need, the need to survive. When the first animal came along survival meant the need for food. When the first animal that bred sexually came along, survival added the need to procreate. Other basic motivations, like pain and fear, came later when animals gained nervous systems and the ability to think.

The need to survive, feed and breed. They are build into our brains at the lowest level. It does not go any deeper than that. Things you consider deep, like love and spirituality, are shallow recent constructs built upon our need to survive in some way and usually have sexual connotations..

We are complex creatures. Sometimes our wiring gets mixed up and or basic needs show up in weird ways. However, no matter how you slice it, BDSM is always about sex.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:08:46 AM

Posts: 1213
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline

If you want this thread to continue, please stop the personal attacks.

VideoAdminXi

_____________________________

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:16:06 AM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Procreate? As in the literal sense? That's the furthest thing I have ever wanted. And I love the sexual part of BDSM. I abhor the thought of procreation though. Did you mean to word that in another way? I am being sincere by the way, this isn't snark.

The sex drive is about procreation: literally, the survival of the species. While you may or may not want kids, the reason sex is pleasurable for us is because nature wants you to have kids.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to Aynne88)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:26:07 AM

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

However, no matter how you slice it, BDSM is always about sex.

That may be true for you, but it isn't true for everyone, all the time.

E.g. I can think of several sessions I've given that didn't have anything at all to do with sex.

Sorry.

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:37:14 AM

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
We are complex creatures. Sometimes our wiring gets mixed up and or basic needs show up in weird ways. However, no matter how you slice it, BDSM is always about sex.

I agree with the first bolded part, but not the second bolded part. Why do people feel they need to speak in absolutes...black/white...as though for everyone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatsMissBitch
So tell me is it really about sex for most people?

I can't speak for "most people"...only myself. My answer would be sometimes yes and sometimes no.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 8/3/2011 5:40:40 AM >

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:48:57 AM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatsMissBitch
Hannah I have to say if your only purpose is being alive is to fuck and make babies you have a very sad life and I actually feel sorry for you. No really I do. Life can be a million things more if you will just open that little closed mind for a while. Look around smell the flowers, climb a mountain or walk a sandy beach it will do wonders for you.

You miss the point. The only purpose of ANY sexually reproducing species is to feed, fuck and have babies. Any species that did not have this as its prime directive died out years ago. The fact that we have become so successful at food gathering that we have time to smell the roses is nice, but not essential to our immediate survival.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to ThatsMissBitch)

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is It Really All About Sex?

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.105