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So... why be mad at her? You trained her to behave that way by rewarding the behavior.

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And further HELLO? She has to be AT WORK today, yet you wake her up to have sex? What the hell kind of responsible master makes it hard for his submissive to maintain her job?

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ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

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True, but the op obviously doesn't have a great deal of experience in picking good partners, or in how to have a healthy relationship that meets both people's needs. In fact he is clear on not caring if her needs are met or not as long as she does what she's told without him hearing about things that don't work for her. And that's not an attitude that successful partners in relationships have. It is an attitude that gets you left alone.

Okay, I've already said that I don't have a whole lot of experience in TPE, but, I'm pretty sure that under those terms, her needs are unimportant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE renders her powerless, strips her of all rights, and basically states that she is subject to the will of her Dominant. Meeting her needs is not a requirement. she knew what she was signing up for and knew whether or not her needs would be a priority. If she was intent on shoving a square peg into a round hole, so be it. Quite frankly, if something doesn't work for her, tough shit. Why should the Dominant bend to meet the submissive in a TPE relationship? They shouldn't. the submissive will either bend, or she will break. either course is just fine with me under those conditions. Sadism is an acceptable practice in this lifestyle, after all. As for my attitude resulting in me being left alone, that's fine with me as well. she's always known that she was free to leave this relationship if she didn't feel she could live up to what was expected of her. I certainly wasn't going to fight to keep her.

Please, if you do not have experience in TPE or even fully understand what it entails, don't comment on the relationship. However, if you do have TPE experience then I'd be happy to hear from you.

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ORIGINAL: Kalista07

i agree with MadRabbit.....
Kali

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ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

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So... why be mad at her? You trained her to behave that way by rewarding the behavior.

You have a point, although rewarding her was certainly not my intention.

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It doesn't sound like you've done much to earn your sumissive's trust and respect.

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For some slaves/subs it is very easy to follow. Even if it means to do so blindly. For me, it is not. For this reason I tend to run into the same blocked pathways. Taking time to think about things and to consider my behavior and the reasons as to why, as helped me better understand myself. I strongly feel in order to get what I want, desire to give and crave, I need to understand the things that are difficult for me. TPE is something that is very, very hard for me to proceed with. Though the kink of D/s (M/s) is exciting, it is not my motivator or my reason as to why I want it, or why I press for it when it obviously is not working at that current time. There are things I need to come to terms with as an individual, and one of them is to let go. It is very hard for me, after all these years of fighting serious emotional and physical battles alone, to not feel as if I am an island. At heart. i don't much feel like I am an island, and without a support system of some kind (a boyfriend, a Master, a friend) i would fall apart at the seams and never be able to proceed with the *fight*. I put up this childish wall in order to get *through* the motions of life. This has worked for me to a certain extent, especially in the vanilla world. In D/s and TPE you don't choose the experience or the emotions your Master invokes or ask from you. This is so hard for me to understand and even allow. Though it is TPE, i essentially have control over what I give and the cause and effect of my endeavors. But the question I often ask myself is if being owned is what I desire, why then is it so hard for me to come to terms with being completely owned?

pondering this question there are only a few answer I can find. One being that when push comes to shove, I am insecure about myself, and being insecure makes me feel unstable about the place I may or may not hold in my Master's eyes. as a result I feel that no matter how much I give, or how much I honestly care or love, in the end I will just be thrown away and never looked at as a diamond in the rough, or anything worth keeping. years and years of abuse as a child has had this affect on me. this is something I am fully aware of. No matter how much or how hard I try (even for myself), I never feel like I am doing a good job, or as if I am completely the task of succeeding. failure scares me to a point of failing, if that makes any sense. I understand it is unfiar of me to ask anyone Dominant or not to put their life or needs on hold in order to babysit my emotions. I don't think I would be up for the challenge of dealing with a person like me and my emotional issues, if the shoe was on the other foot. the sad thing here about this entire situation is that I cannot change the outcome of any D/s relationship I have, until I change the outcome of myself. as a result I will lose things and people and feel empty to a degree, but I know that i have to work on myself before I can enter into anything concerning TPE. However, i feel that D/s shouldn't be completely taken out of my life while I make the efforts to change and grow. I strongly feel that I could grow even more through the guidance of a Dom. I have thus far. If it was never for D/s I would have never felt the emotions I have the provoked me to step outside myself, and see what needs to be fixed. D/s has taught me respect, patience, perserverance, love, depth, selflessness, the ability to try and push myself even when I think I am at my limit, and most important of all it has taught me about myself and through it i have discovered myself and have found a portion of my identity. Perhaps starting out as a subbie and taking it slowly, instead of giving it all at once and getting scared away and pulling back, will help me with all aspects of my life.

One thing I know for certain and that is that I crave, want, desire and need a helping, loving, Dominant hand to guide me and tell me when I am being an idiot. Often, I am blinded by my own arrogance and ignorance and often I cannot see past it.

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I am insecure about myself, and being insecure makes me feel unstable about the place I may or may not hold in my Master's eyes. as a result I feel that no matter how much I give, or how much I honestly care or love, in the end I will just be thrown away and never looked at as a diamond in the rough, or anything worth keeping.

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ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

one last thing, for all of you bastards who wished me ill..you'll be happy to know that upon coming home and attempting to finish up hour number two, she puked all over me after 20 minutes.

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ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic
Okay, I've already said that I don't have a whole lot of experience in TPE, but, I'm pretty sure that under those terms, her needs are unimportant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE renders her powerless, strips her of all rights, and basically states that she is subject to the will of her Dominant. Meeting her needs is not a requirement. she knew what she was signing up for and knew whether or not her needs would be a priority.