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RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 10:23:24 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

I have no idea what your advice was. Odds are it was ignored, as are most with your attitude. Save the pissing contests for the watersports threads, your input is not required.


Aww...don't like being called on your bullshit, huh?



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 11:46:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty


you can have no experience at any age, and a great amount of experience at 24 years old....



True, but the op obviously doesn't have a great deal of experience in picking good partners, or in how to have a healthy relationship that meets both people's needs. In fact he is clear on not caring if her needs are met or not as long as she does what she's told without him hearing about things that don't work for her. And that's not an attitude that successful partners in relationships have. It is an attitude that gets you left alone.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 12:32:23 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Open till 7am est.......what day?


Jeff

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 1:30:09 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

True, but the op obviously doesn't have a great deal of experience in picking good partners, or in how to have a healthy relationship that meets both people's needs. In fact he is clear on not caring if her needs are met or not as long as she does what she's told without him hearing about things that don't work for her. And that's not an attitude that successful partners in relationships have. It is an attitude that gets you left alone.


Okay, I've already said that I don't have a whole lot of experience in TPE, but, I'm pretty sure that under those terms, her needs are unimportant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE renders her powerless, strips her of all rights, and basically states that she is subject to the will of her Dominant. Meeting her needs is not a requirement. she knew what she was signing up for and knew whether or not her needs would be a priority. If she was intent on shoving a square peg into a round hole, so be it. Quite frankly, if something doesn't work for her, tough shit. Why should the Dominant bend to meet the submissive in a TPE relationship? They shouldn't. the submissive will either bend, or she will break. either course is just fine with me under those conditions. Sadism is an acceptable practice in this lifestyle, after all. As for my attitude resulting in me being left alone, that's fine with me as well. she's always known that she was free to leave this relationship if she didn't feel she could live up to what was expected of her. I certainly wasn't going to fight to keep her.

Please, if you do not have experience in TPE or even fully understand what it entails, don't comment on the relationship. However, if you do have TPE experience then I'd be happy to hear from you.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 1:31:30 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		7am yesterday (sunday) by the way

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 1:41:06 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

Okay, I've already said that I don't have a whole lot of experience in TPE, but, I'm pretty sure that under those terms, her needs are unimportant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE renders her powerless, strips her of all rights, and basically states that she is subject to the will of her Dominant. Meeting her needs is not a requirement. she knew what she was signing up for and knew whether or not her needs would be a priority. If she was intent on shoving a square peg into a round hole, so be it. Quite frankly, if something doesn't work for her, tough shit. Why should the Dominant bend to meet the submissive in a TPE relationship? They shouldn't. the submissive will either bend, or she will break. either course is just fine with me under those conditions. Sadism is an acceptable practice in this lifestyle, after all. As for my attitude resulting in me being left alone, that's fine with me as well. she's always known that she was free to leave this relationship if she didn't feel she could live up to what was expected of her. I certainly wasn't going to fight to keep her.

Please, if you do not have experience in TPE or even fully understand what it entails, don't comment on the relationship. However, if you do have TPE experience then I'd be happy to hear from you.


Your just....so cute.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 1:42:37 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		well thank you, bunny. But I'm not interested, sorry.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 2:01:26 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic
Okay, I've already said that I don't have a whole lot of experience in TPE, but, I'm pretty sure that under those terms, her needs are unimportant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE renders her powerless, strips her of all rights, and basically states that she is subject to the will of her Dominant. Meeting her needs is not a requirement. she knew what she was signing up for and knew whether or not her needs would be a priority. If she was intent on shoving a square peg into a round hole, so be it. Quite frankly, if something doesn't work for her, tough shit. Why should the Dominant bend to meet the submissive in a TPE relationship? They shouldn't. the submissive will either bend, or she will break. either course is just fine with me under those conditions. Sadism is an acceptable practice in this lifestyle, after all. As for my attitude resulting in me being left alone, that's fine with me as well. she's always known that she was free to leave this relationship if she didn't feel she could live up to what was expected of her. I certainly wasn't going to fight to keep her.

Please, if you do not have experience in TPE or even fully understand what it entails, don't comment on the relationship. However, if you do have TPE experience then I'd be happy to hear from you.


*SIGH* i've been reading this thread for the past couple of days, and having various conversations in my head regarding it.  TwiztdErotic, i must admit i was feeling a great amount of empathy for You right up until You posted the thread that i'm quoting above...My Sir and i are currently working toward becoming 24/7 TPE, however i must tell You that He would strongly object if i attempted to tell Him my needs were unimportant. After all, He did want a relationship with another human right? Not simply a step-ford woman or a blow up doll?? If my needs are unmet in the relationship we currently have he's advised me i have two courses of action: talk to Him about it, or get out......(Obviously the first one would be a pre-requisite to the 2nd one occurring).
In my opinion, as a slave who's gearing toward 24/7 TPE (as realistic as that can be) one of the things i need to be assured of is that my needs will be met by my Master. Otherwise, how can i truly turn over complete control and surrender my will and my life to Him? My experience would say that i can not...Could just be me however...
Look, i understand You are hurting and frustrated.....i even understand You are feeling attacked.....However, i do hope the statement above in which You described it not mattering to You whether a submissive (interesting to me that You did say submissive here and not slave) bend or break, was a flippant and thoughtless statement. i do hope it's not one You really meant. Because if so, again, i think it's important to look at what or who You really want in a relationship. Because it can be a truly horrible and devastating thing to see when a person breaks...............
Perhaps i'm confused about the definition of sadism...If so, anyone please feel free to contact me, however this does not sound like sadism to me.. What it does sound like to me is that someone is having a power trip.........
Just my thoughts though.....

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 2:16:44 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		I'm about to head out, but I'll offer a quick response. While I do tend to take some of their needs into account, I don't believe I am required to do so. If her needs and my desires conflict, guess who gets the short end of the stick?

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 2:20:00 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly? In the end.....You both do....She does because once again she realizes that she was foolish enough to become involved with a juvenile, selfish, self obsessed, power hungery, in it for himself only man....And welll You do (on some level) because You are forced to start over......
 
* i wonder.....how many times will You continue this cycle with her and with others before it occurs to You that the common denomenator in this situation is You?* hmmmm.
Kali

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 11/26/2007 2:21:02 PM >

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 2:22:09 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

I'm about to head out, but I'll offer a quick response. While I do tend to take some of their needs into account, I don't believe I am required to do so. If her needs and my desires conflict, guess who gets the short end of the stick?


You...being single?

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 2:27:02 PM   
Kaiynasha


Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Open til & 7am says control freak to me. You're seeking a quick fix to something you cannot resolve. After reading some more of your responses, I am sure now, you're simply being selfish and not really looking at the best interest of your slave. Do some reflection and you will see how unreasonable you are being. No one should respond to someone who is playing abusive mind-games.  And yes, I am calling your behavior somewhat abusive.

_____________________________

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy
like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins
off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing
to share in the scary stuff"

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 2:52:02 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha

Open til & 7am says control freak to me. You're seeking a quick fix to something you cannot resolve. After reading some more of your responses, I am sure now, you're simply being selfish and not really looking at the best interest of your slave. Do some reflection and you will see how unreasonable you are being. No one should respond to someone who is playing abusive mind-games.  And yes, I am calling your behavior somewhat abusive.


He'll have to get over his ego first and stop posturing like he is in control of everything (Reading between the lines of his narrations of his relationship only show how little control he did have)


_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Kaiynasha)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 3:22:39 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic
Okay, I've already said that I don't have a whole lot of experience in TPE, but, I'm pretty sure that under those terms, her needs are unimportant.

That sounds pretty silly to me. If I need X,Y and Z to remain the same woman he became attracted to in the first place, I would say those needs are pretty important to the continued health of our dynamic.
quote:


Correct me if I'm wrong, but TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE renders her powerless, strips her of all rights, and basically states that she is subject to the will of her Dominant.

Depends entirely on the relationship. Most TPE slaves still won't kill someone for you.
quote:


Meeting her needs is not a requirement. she knew what she was signing up for and knew whether or not her needs would be a priority. If she was intent on shoving a square peg into a round hole, so be it. Quite frankly, if something doesn't work for her, tough shit. Why should the Dominant bend to meet the submissive in a TPE relationship?

To have healthy relationship that works? I mean, I hate to say  this but obviously your way didn't work too well for ya did it? I'm not saying bend over for every need but just because you have power doesn't mean you need to or even should use it in any particular moment in time. Sometimes even dominants don't get to have their way at the moment in order to have their way in the long run.
quote:


They shouldn't. the submissive will either bend, or she will break. either course is just fine with me under those conditions. Sadism is an acceptable practice in this lifestyle, after all. As for my attitude resulting in me being left alone, that's fine with me as well. she's always known that she was free to leave this relationship if she didn't feel she could live up to what was expected of her. I certainly wasn't going to fight to keep her.

How is she free to leave? I thought you said she didn't have any rights...
quote:


Please, if you do not have experience in TPE or even fully understand what it entails, don't comment on the relationship. However, if you do have TPE experience then I'd be happy to hear from you.

Oooo... we don't know what we are talking about because we don't agree with you! That's logic right there.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 3:44:36 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, i've picked up dinner.
quote:

Open til & 7am says control freak to me. You're seeking a quick fix to something you cannot resolve. After reading some more of your responses, I am sure now, you're simply being selfish and not really looking at the best interest of your slave. Do some reflection and you will see how unreasonable you are being. No one should respond to someone who is playing abusive mind-games. And yes, I am calling your behavior somewhat abusive.

Open til 7am says control freak? Considering the whole point of this thread was to see if someone could suggest a suitable punishment for the situation, which was to be given at 7am, I'm not sure I see your point of view. As for my being selfish, I whole heartedly agree with you. I entered this lifestyle to indulge my desires, she entered it to serve the desires of another (obviously she didn't, but you get the point) so being a little bit selfish is somewhat expected, no? I'm well aware of the fact that some of my posts seem very unreasonable. the fact remains that it is well within the parameters of a TPE arrangement to do so. Do I actually act this way? Usually not. If I really was that much of a dick, I probably wouldn't have been so sweet about waking her up.
Back to the topic of her needs being met. While I stand by my statement that meeting them is not required under the parameters of a TPE relationship, I do realize that it's not the best practice. In reality, each need would be assessed and dealt with on an individual basis. her need to have more than 9 hours of sleep in order to wake up pleasantly is hardly an important need. her need to be given food and water is.
To be totally honest, the only need she had recently that wasn't being met was the need to feel loved. This wasn't always the case, but after giving her a second chance and seeing no change whatsoever, I'll admit, I became a little careless with her emotions. I understand that I should have just left at that point, however..I didn't. lesson learned.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 3:49:16 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

In reality, each need would be assessed and dealt with on an individual basis. her need to have more than 9 hours of sleep in order to wake up pleasantly is hardly an important need. her need to be given food and water is.


The reality is also that if I need X to accomplish Y and Valyraen needs/wants me to accomplish Y, he makes sure I have X.

In this example, if you want/need her to wake up pleasently you let her have the amount of sleep she requires to do so. Or go through the process and whatever length of time is required to train her to do so. It doesn't sound like you trained her for this. 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 3:52:05 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

Many of you are making a big deal out of the father being there. I assure you that his presence in no way affected her behavior. Neither she, nor I would have cared if it was the pope out there. Quite frankly, we're both deranged enough to find that particular situation as a little bit exciting.



Hopefully I'm not the only one a little bit squicked that you think her father hearing you having sex is "a little bit exciting".  Doesn't that end when you get out of high school??

Not to say there is not some thrill to the possibility of getting caught (ah yes, fond memories of a golf course at dusk, but I digress)... but geez, not by her FATHER.    

Cali

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 3:55:10 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		her need to have 9 hours of sleep isn't exactly an every day need. sometimes she'd wake up just fine after 3-4 hours, sometimes even 10+ hours isn't enough. the real issue is that if she doesn't like or feel like doing something, she acts out.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 3:58:16 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

her need to have 9 hours of sleep isn't exactly an every day need. sometimes she'd wake up just fine after 3-4 hours, sometimes even 10+ hours isn't enough. the real issue is that if she doesn't like or feel like doing something, she acts out.


And when she acted out you made her do it anyway in most circumstances - you did say the only reason you didn't in this particular case is because her father was there. Since you have told us that she liked being made to do things, you were basically rewarding her bad behavior, much like giving a puppy a treat for wetting the floor or for barking.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/26/2007 4:00:24 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		you're absolutely right. again, another lesson learned.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 140
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