Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?

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Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:12:05 AM

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i apologize for being so naive, but it seems that every time i FINALLY have the opportunity to start a relationship with a Mistress, Her first request is that i give Her money (i.e., an allowance, tuition, spending money, gifts, etc). While i am certainly more than willing to, and even very excited about the opportunity to shower a potential Mistress with gifts, money, my labor, etc., i am very suspicious about the sincerity of the Mistress when monetary contributions are Her first requirement. As a result, i have ended several very promising relationships before they even started, and i keep questioning myself whether i did the right thing.

Am i out of line in thinking that a D/s relationship should evolve somewhat prior to significant financial demands by the Mistress? i am very sincere in seeking a long term D/s relationship, but it seems to be very difficult.

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:21:56 AM

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Imho: If they want money first> theyre Pro dommes= prostitutes

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:42:27 AM

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Even if the idea is appealing, don't tribute your Dommes until you have met with them and played if possible. They might just be scamming you.

(in reply to Domtaur)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:48:18 AM

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tom, we've been down this road before.

You're 58. You're fixated on thin, beautiful Dommes. I'm too lazy to give you the same answers you've gotten before. Look at your own profile, and click on View Forum Posts. The you can see your own posts and the replies you have gotten.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:53:40 AM

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No I am not a mistress obviously, but I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female.

In this case, I might suggest, 'sure ma'am I have tribute...come and get it.

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 6/8/2010 5:54:03 AM >

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:56:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domtaur

Imho: If they want money first> theyre Pro dommes= prostitutes

No. Sex for money is prostitution. Play for money is not if no sex is involved. Thinking that D/s is only kinky sex is an unfortunate mindset which Internet porn has fostered.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Domtaur)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:57:03 AM

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_3229306/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3229306

Hello tom,
Because they are professional Dommes (is the short answer). If you want something else, follow the advice in the other thread. Polite whining is still whining.

Best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 6/8/2010 6:53:30 AM >

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(in reply to MrRodgers)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 5:59:25 AM

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The answer to your problems is very simple. Wait until a relationship has formed before you throw yourself whole hog into it. Relationships are all the same no matter what lifestyle your in. If a woman wants your money before she wants you then she is not interested in you.

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:00:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

No I am not a mistress obviously, but I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female.

It's come up before.

OP, why do you think the world of D/s is different than any other kind of dating? If you took the kink out of it, do you honestly believe the same type of woman (I'm assuming young, pretty, thin, etc) would be interested in you if it wasn't for money? Or, would she be interested in some young, good-looking guy who can keep up with her, be comfortable introducing to her friends, and has the same interests.

If you can't get the hot vanilla chicks, you don't stand a chance getting a hot Domme.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to MrRodgers)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:03:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

No I am not a mistress obviously, but I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female.

I once had it offered to me by a woman who wanted a spanking session. She told me that she didn't know how this worked and asked if pay was customary. I assured her it wasn't.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MrRodgers)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:07:46 AM

Syrox

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Still.. I can understand the point of tributes.. although they should never be the first thing asked for.. To my mind the sub gets the best out of the deal and the Dom(me) gets very little from the exchange as far as satisfying their needs goes, so some kind of compensation for spending their time on you does make sense in THAT way, but I would be very suspicious if they want money before even SPEAKING to you..

have a convo, decide you both want this and then make the arrangements as required according to something you can BOTH agree on. otherwise you're open for being ripped off

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unless otherwise noted this has been a fast reply. brought to you by the letter M and the number 7.

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RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:11:11 AM

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Tom, I do believe LadyPact said it best. Take the kink aspect out of it, would she REALLY want you if she is is much younger and pretty?

Mull it over for a bit.

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(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:18:37 AM

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Is tribute the same thing as trick money?

(in reply to MissAsylum)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:22:05 AM

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How long have you known her? How well have you gotten to to know her? I think it is a bit too much for a Mistress to ask for money right up front, but if you have spent weeks or longer conversing, meeting in vanilla places, getting to know each other and finally have decided to have a relationship, that is another story.

Its been my experience that if a Mistress doesn't establish up front that she expects you to help out financially it either won't happen or the sub gets offended when she asks for it later. If you are in a relationship with a domme you should be contributing something financially to her. She has spent money on toys, implements, equipment, outfits, you name it and those things are very expensive.

I was in a relationship once where my partner was spending 3 or more nights a week at my home, using my toys and equipment, watching my tv, eating my food, sleeping in my bed, showering ...you get the picture. The first time I asked him for money to help out on bills (which obviously went up due to another person spending so much time in my home) he acted like I was some gold-digging hoochie trying to use him for money. I dropped his ass.

Don't tribute - contribute.
Lady C

(in reply to subbietom2)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:24:26 AM

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quote:

Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?

Because Almost The Same Number Of Them Want Money Only.

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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:27:05 AM

Syrox

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

How long have you known her? How well have you gotten to to know her? I think it is a bit too much for a Mistress to ask for money right up front, but if you have spent weeks or longer conversing, meeting in vanilla places, getting to know each other and finally have decided to have a relationship, that is another story.

Its been my experience that if a Mistress doesn't establish up front that she expects you to help out financially it either won't happen or the sub gets offended when she asks for it later. If you are in a relationship with a domme you should be contributing something financially to her. She has spent money on toys, implements, equipment, outfits, you name it and those things are very expensive.

I was in a relationship once where my partner was spending 3 or more nights a week at my home, using my toys and equipment, watching my tv, eating my food, sleeping in my bed, showering ...you get the picture. The first time I asked him for money to help out on bills (which obviously went up due to another person spending so much time in my home) he acted like I was some gold-digging hoochie trying to use him for money. I dropped his ass.

Don't tribute - contribute.
Lady C

exceptionally well put!

Common sense is your biggest ally. If you wouldn't do it in a vanilla relationship (contributions, paying someone to make the time for you etc.) then why do it here. if, you want something that you are BOTH going to be better for in the end then you need to do it the right way. Think and focus.

_____________________________

unless otherwise noted this has been a fast reply. brought to you by the letter M and the number 7.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:29:26 AM

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quote:

If you wouldn't do it in a vanilla relationship (contributions, paying someone to make the time for you etc.) then why do it here. if, you want something that you are BOTH going to be better for in the end then you need to do it the right way. Think and focus.

Exactly!

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to Syrox)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:53:42 AM

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Overall im with the guy 95%, i think he is right to refuse relationships with Dommes who ask for money up front. i have done so myself. However if a person were living with a Domme using Her water, food, etc and not paying a contribution, thats different the sub is wrong in that instance in my opinion. But overall im with the sub, the tributes being demanded by Dommes are nothing short of outrageous given the current economy. $200 an hour? Not a hope in hell of me going for that
kevin

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 6:57:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domtaur

Imho: If they want money first> theyre Pro dommes= prostitutes

No. Sex for money is prostitution. Play for money is not if no sex is involved. Thinking that D/s is only kinky sex is an unfortunate mindset which Internet porn has fostered.

Yes, today we say D/s is not only kinky sex and that view is what has been born on the net. Far enough back in the day D/s was all sexual submission or their was...none at all. Porn simply reflects that mind set of people when they came to the net.

Look it up...deSade's whole history. For him, BDSM was almost exclusively...about kinky sex.

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 6/8/2010 6:58:56 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? - 6/8/2010 7:01:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female.

Nah, the male Doms don't ask for money up front. They ask sub females for pussy and naked pics up front.

~sweetsub~

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"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to MrRodgers)

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