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trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 7:55:03 AM   
pussinbootz


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Hiya..

I was discussing with MM last night about the fact that he may be finding the sadistic side in him... he is finding that he is beginning to enjoy inflicting pain on me... but, I'm pretty sure it's purely because he knows I love it....

So, I'm really interested in hearing from other sadists... do you love infliciting pain for pain's sake, or is it because you know your sub/bottom enjoys it?

Coming from the sub side of things it would be really interesting to hear from the other side of things to hear how people feel.

Puss


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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 8:13:07 AM   
Trampler


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Well I am a sensual sadist.  While I love/get off on inflicting pain, I want my partner to get off on it too. Not just the pain itself but also the touch.  I don't know if I am explaining it right. I know in my head...............grrrrr

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 8:24:07 AM   
earthycouple


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I inflict pain because it gives me a release within me.  It takes away stress such as headaches and back aches go away.  I do not inflict pain because my bottom loves it.  I find a bottom who loves my pain. 

Watching Robert's cock rise to my inflictions is amazing and only a part of the reason he is part of our home.

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 8:26:00 AM   
johnwestly


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During a session as the excitement grows and the ass and nipples gets redder or the cock and balls go purple the pherons kick-in for both the sub/slave and Dom/Domme through the vapors in the air.   A cuffed and collared slave on my spanking bench will experience extasy as being restrained has a psychological effect on them also.

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 8:42:39 AM   
Archer


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There are parts of my mind that really don't start to "get off" until the point where the bottom is no longer enjoying the pain.
It is not expected that every scene I do will release that part of my brain.
There are parts of my mind that enjoy the pain when the bottom is enjoying it as well.
That part of my mind gets fed much more often.

But then again I'm a twisted fuck, LOL

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 8:55:19 AM   
LadyHugs


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Dear pussinbootz, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Nothing in BDSM, D/s, M/s and especially S&M should be done because we hate it, forced into it, terrorized or intimidated into it.

I consider myself many things, to include a Sadist.  I have other Sadists who title me as one.
As a Sadist -- I do not enjoy a scene with anybody who doesn't like pain or play with pain.  I am just as qualified in sensual flogging, caning and spanking--it is just an adjustment in my mental frame and my emotional frame remains the same -- how can I create something enjoyable for the victim --err, slave/submissive.

My only upsets in the S&M theater, are those who won't improve their skills and or accuracy with impliments or learn before they do things on another human body--its reckless and shouldn't be tolerated.  S&M is an art form and requires skills because it can--repeat can; be a very dangerous thing to do and play with.  Although miss-hits, bruises, cuts and accidents do happen--the idea of just beating blindly without warm-up and or little respect for the masochist is becoming a real problem in BDSM and in S&M.  Using S&M as a cover for poor skills is not something I relish.

Another thing that is often confused; are those masochists.  Not all masochists enjoy the 'submissive' role or have a submissive bone in their being.  They 'concede' rather than submit into a surrender/submissive role.  Perhaps this is why you hear terms of TOPPING/bottoming and or Sadist/masochist --instead of M/s or D/s.  There are those who are rather unique who do enjoy the servant role in which the time spent in a slave/submissive role acts to refresh the mind as allows the body time to recover for the next S&M exchange.  Those who do S&M knows back to back S&M play--although a desire, need--the body looses sensitivities to which ruins the whole idea of pain play.  Things have to go harder, more risky as to achieve the same sensitivities when they have been lost by over-doing.

As far as Sadists go, it can be a crude analogy however, pain is a drug--a chemical.  So Sadists create the pain cocktail as to give the masochist their high--much like a drug trip.  The difference is; old time Sadists don't inject anything--all is external application of well placed and well timed pain to which the body's pain management system responds.  Natural reaction, like stubbing a toe, you immediately start howling 'ow ow ow' hop around, grab the painful digit and the body chemical rush or throb--pain that may get one in a weak state, seeing stars and or a bright flash of light.  The trip masochists like is that which allows them to enjoy the out of body sub-space/flying.  It is that escape people need to just take a break from life or the normal.

Sadists through their scent react to masochist's scent releases--the Pheromones, Adrenaline, body's send on the air signals which affect/effect the other.  Chemical releases through scent will change the other's mental chemicals to which pleasure and excitement will be enhanced.
It goes back to primal human--we rise into a gradual frenzy and then the flight down.


Some people need panic to get the high--these are thrill seekers, that get a rush when they have success.  There are many cocktails that people use to get their 'fix' by using their own body's chemicals to make it all happen.  Some hard core former drug users said that if S&M was discovered before shooting up all this stuff out on the street and society, et.al., they would have never had to spend a dime on illegal drugs--they had more than what they sought via drugs by S&M.  So many drug addicts have confessed kicking drugs period--have been due to the qualities of good S&M practices.

In S&M--the criteria by today's standards, is that we both--TOP and bottom--MUST enjoy it.  Otherwise, it is not S&M by modern standards but, abuse, torture and visit back to the Inquisition where S&M wasn't consensual.

 
Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

 

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 7/4/2007 9:05:33 AM >

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 9:21:10 AM   
MasterFireMaam


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Both.

Master Fire


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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 10:23:50 AM   
Lashra


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I like inflicting pain on my sub because it sexually arouses me, gives me a deeper sense of control and I feed off the energy exchange between us because he loves receiving pain. For us its a win/win situation. If he wasn't a masochist though I am not sure I would enjoy it as much, in fact I am pretty certain that I wouldnt because that exchange would be missing a link.

~Lashra


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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 10:28:25 AM   
Lashra


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LadyHugs you make an interesting point regarding ex drug users. My sub is an ex cocaine user and  he said that S&M actually helped him get over his addiction to coke. He was a Master then and he still had the longing for the stuff. He says now that he is a sub that he no longer has the cravings for the drug. So there maybe something to that thought.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 10:37:35 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Both, for me.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1006146/mpage_1/key_fluffy/tm.htm#1008324
true sadism vs masochistic empathy

http://www.collarchat.com/m_701599/mpage_1/key_fluffy/tm.htm#701905
sadism and masochism

http://www.collarchat.com/m_525044/mpage_1/key_fluffy%252Csadist/tm.htm#525222
sadist


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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 11:21:59 AM   
queencaliph


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I am a sadist.  I get off on inflicting pain.  It is like a drug-induced high.  I enjoy it better than sex or anything else I have experienced.  It has nothing to do with whether or not the sub is enjoying it. If he does, good for him, if not....well its still good for me. Ideally I enjoy topping a masochist because they will usually accept more pain from me. 

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 1:07:19 PM   
HypnoticDan


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The very definition of a sadist is one who enjoys inflicting pain.  Wether the recipient enjoys it or not is irrelevant to the definition of the word.

Personally, I do not believe I am a sadist.  I see what I do as creating a controlled series of very intense sensations.  For example, when I lift weights at the gym I get "the burn" which is intense but feels good in a way that is rarely experienced.  This is not so different from what I believe is happening to a sub while being subjected to my ministrations.

In the interests of full disclosure I am a novice dom so take my opinion with the requisite quantity of salt.

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 2:49:37 PM   
SimplyMichael


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As always I find myself in disagreement with Lady Hugs...

There isn't anything wrong with a submissive hating what I am doing to her, the fact that you can't grasp how that might work says to me that despite your posturing, your grasp of verbosity hides the shallowness of your grasp of what makes S&M magical.

The fact that you have to label anything outside of what YOU do as abuse is again telling.  It is people like yourself that are turning S&M into a sterile vessel with narrow frameworks, not people who love the
quote:

idea of just beating blindly without warm-up and or little respect for the masochist is becoming a real problem in BDSM and in S&M.
   Perhaps someone loves the fact that their partner is willing to play that hard, or it is a turn on for some other more complex reason but one that nourishes their soul on some level.

Perhaps the next time you are doing a lecture at a life style event (consisting of six people if I remember correctly) and or hawking your CD you will step down off the soapbox long enough to realize YOU are NOT the all knowing pope of kink. 

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 4:46:11 PM   
angelslave77


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I wonder about this with Master, I know he loves to inflict pain on me and he knows I enjoy it immensly but we have yet to reach a point where I wasn't enjoying it but I believe if we did he would stop, but then I guess we wont know untill we actually reach that point.



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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 5:07:18 PM   
happypervert


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quote:

There isn't anything wrong with a submissive hating what I am doing to her,

Right. If a submissive likes what I'm doing then really don't get much of a sense of control nor do I consider it sadistic -- in that case I'm being a service top. That's fine sometimes, but other times I'll do things precisely because she doesn't like it so I can see her submit to it

Funny thing is that I don't feel like I'm being sadistic with most pain play I do, though someone on the receiving end of it may think I am; in my mind that is mostly about expressing power instead of enjoying inflicting pain for it's own sake. But occasionally I'll let my inner sadist out to play with the intention to go beyond the norm (for me) to enjoy and be aroused by another's suffering; it is like a primal beast inside me and I'm not entirely comfortable with letting it out unless it is with someone I'm very close to because it is a very intimate and profound exploration of our dynamic. A little of that goes a long way for me.


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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 5:28:30 PM   
BeingChewsie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pussinbootz

Hiya..

I was discussing with MM last night about the fact that he may be finding the sadistic side in him... he is finding that he is beginning to enjoy inflicting pain on me... but, I'm pretty sure it's purely because he knows I love it....

So, I'm really interested in hearing from other sadists... do you love infliciting pain for pain's sake, or is it because you know your sub/bottom enjoys it?

Coming from the sub side of things it would be really interesting to hear from the other side of things to hear how people feel.

Puss




For R it sexually excites him to inflict pain, he gets hard when he hurts me, the more he hurts me the more excited he gets.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 5:31:21 PM   
BeingChewsie


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Thanks for saying this. We have never had any kind of warm-up, he doesn't attempt to put me in subspace, he attempts to keep me out. He enjoys my suffering. It is ment to hurt.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

As always I find myself in disagreement with Lady Hugs...

There isn't anything wrong with a submissive hating what I am doing to her, the fact that you can't grasp how that might work says to me that despite your posturing, your grasp of verbosity hides the shallowness of your grasp of what makes S&M magical.

The fact that you have to label anything outside of what YOU do as abuse is again telling.  It is people like yourself that are turning S&M into a sterile vessel with narrow frameworks, not people who love the
quote:

idea of just beating blindly without warm-up and or little respect for the masochist is becoming a real problem in BDSM and in S&M.
   Perhaps someone loves the fact that their partner is willing to play that hard, or it is a turn on for some other more complex reason but one that nourishes their soul on some level.

Perhaps the next time you are doing a lecture at a life style event (consisting of six people if I remember correctly) and or hawking your CD you will step down off the soapbox long enough to realize YOU are NOT the all knowing pope of kink. 


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 5:34:46 PM   
MasterofDrkness


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<nods  in agrement> both

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 8:31:16 PM   
beltainefaerie


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I get off on both kinds of pain, where the sub loves it and where they don't.  Initially when I discovered that I liked to beat people, it was still part of serving.  I could Top those that wanted to be hit, because they were getting off on it and it was another way to be useful to them.  However, I quickly discovered that fear and what I think of as "actual" pain were hot for me too, I knew I was also a sadist.  It can be as hot or even hotter to me when they don't enjoy what is going on.  My Master enjoys beating me and his wife in erotic, sexy ways that we all enjoy and also loves it when play moves past erotic pain into actual  pain.  He also adores it when he can make us cry.

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RE: trying to understand sadism - 7/4/2007 9:03:37 PM   
LadyHugs


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SimplyMichael--
 
I know you hate me as a woman and a person--Archive history of your intent to drive me off is well documented as CrappyDom and under this screen name. 
 

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