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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 3:18:16 PM   
MadRabbit


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Thank you. Thats a much better way of saying what I was getting at.

_____________________________

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Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 3:22:06 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

I admit I don't understand this idea that growth can only come in an M/s dynamic from things a person dislikes or finds bad or makes then unhappy.


Perhaps we can interpret the word "trial" to mean "challenge" instead?
I am impressed with your accomplishments, BeingChewsie.
And I think it is a challenge to come that far.

If you and prop both agree with this, you agree with each other, the way your respective posts look to this third party.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to BeingChewsie)
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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 3:30:47 PM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie
We are not talking about "any" service he could possibly or may ever demand, we are talking about things he has asked of her either in past or presently happening that she does not feel are a sacrifice or a trial for her.

OK so your owner has you do thing that make you suffer, they effect -your- mindset and growth as a slave, but they are not a requirement for slavery  or growth in an M/s dyanmic which is what you said earlier prop.


requirement for slavery? no. requirement for growth? imo, yes. however this is all my lil old opinion, based on my own perceptions and understanding of ownership and slavery. with those who have a different understanding of the concepts, the same truth would not apply. and actually, for the sake of curiousity and learning about ways which differ from my own, i'd be curious to know just what sorts of things help foster growth and symbolize ownership in dynamics where there are never any trials for a slave to overcome.



I just gave you some, she learns to cook gourmet meals, she becomes knowledgeable about wine to share his passion for same, she goes back to school earns her Master's or Doctorial degree in a field she always wanted to get into but didn't think she was good enough too be in, she learns investing when she never thought she could and makes a fortune, she learns to sew whole outfits when she couldn't sew a button when she came into the dynamic. She starts an ebay business from the ground up and in several months becomes a gold powerseller and brings him over $5k in profit a month when a year before she didn't know how to turn on the computer. She learns to paint, writes and publishes her first novel or a novel for him...all of these things being possible because of the dynamic and the environment he provides..strengthening her bond with him.


first i see two separate issues in the things you mention above: things revolving around self-improvement, like achieving something one has always desired but never felt capable of...and things involving service to one's Master, like learning to share his passions or earning money for him. imo self-improvement, while nice and appropriate for some, does not result in one's growth as a slave. there is a difference between growing as an independent, free person, and growing as a slave. the latter category...service...imo only involves growth as a slave if one faces challenges and hardships along the way. this in no way means that acquiring certain skills in order to better serve and please one's Master is without value or purpose if it comes easily and without suffering or sacrifice. just that i am not sure where the "growth" (again, as a slave, not a person) is in such situations.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 3:33:09 PM   
bandit25


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I've been reading and thinking about this thread for awhile now.  I'm pretty much with Chewsie.  I have a problem with the whole "suffering" thing also.  If that's what floats your boat, ok.  But it's not ok for everyone.  If my dom wants me to do X because he really wants X done,  all's well and good.  But if he wants X SOLELY BECAUSE he wants me to suffer and "grow"?  Not so much.  If the suffering and growing is a side effect of that specific X he wants done, again, ok.  Perhaps, he and I align so closely that I want to do whatever he wants done.  Does he then have to think up and give me horrendously unpleasant things to do JUST so I will suffer?  I think not.

However, doing something well, even if there is no adversity or challenge, can also bring a great sense of accomplishment.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 7/19/2007 3:34:04 PM >

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 3:59:36 PM   
BeingChewsie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

first i see two separate issues in the things you mention above: things revolving around self-improvement, like achieving something one has always desired but never felt capable of...and things involving service to one's Master, like learning to share his passions or earning money for him. imo self-improvement, while nice and appropriate for some, does not result in one's growth as a slave. there is a difference between growing as an independent, free person, and growing as a slave. the latter category...service...imo only involves growth as a slave if one faces challenges and hardships along the way. this in no way means that acquiring certain skills in order to better serve and please one's Master is without value or purpose if it comes easily and without suffering or sacrifice. just that i am not sure where the "growth" (again, as a slave, not a person) is in such situations.



Well slaves are people, I'm not sure what you mean by growth as a slave and not a person? I'm owned so therefore a slave, so everything that expands my knowledge, world view, increases my value is growth as slave as far as I can tell. I'm not an independent, free person, I'm owned, so I'm not growing as an independent free person but as a slave. It isn't self-improvement, it improvement of property. Obviously you mean something specific and I simply don't undersand what you are getting at.

What if the only thing that would be a "hardship" to the girl would be to be homeless, destitute, and starving? Everything else kind of pales in the face of that. Should he boot her ass out to, lose use of her, lose her income potential, to make her grow as a slave in the way -most- satsifying to her or should he as the owner tell her to get over it?

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 7/19/2007 4:21:23 PM >


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 4:26:48 PM   
daddysprop247


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BeingChewsie, i'll give you an example. i could take a comprehensive course, and within several months become fluent in cantonese. this would be a challenge, an admirable accomplishment, and may help me to grow as a person. it would make me desireable in the eyes of certain employers, therefore increasing my earning potential. however becoming fluent in cantonese would not help me to grow as a slave, because it would not serve my Master in any way. He does not wish me to be employed by anyone other than himself, therefore the earning potential aspect would be irrelevant. He would not find any more value in me as his slave. learning cantonese may have been something i have always longed to do, but it would be a selfish goal, not one that served my Master.

likewise...i have always had a fear of driving. if i overcame this fear and learned how to drive, one could say i will have grown as a person. however my Master has no desire for me to serve him by driving and running errands...to him it is more desireable that i lack this skill and maintain this fear, because it serves him by adding to my vulnerability and powerlessness in our relationship.

this is what i mean by growing as an individual as opposed to growing as a slave. simply because one is a slave, does not mean that all growth they achieve relates to their slavery.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 4:31:54 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I'm pretty much with Chewsie.


I'm with myself. ~lol~

quote:


I have a problem with the whole "suffering" thing also.


Why address this to me? I tried clarifying this bit.
Suffering seems inaccurate as a term for what people talked about.

quote:


However, doing something well, even if there is no adversity or challenge, can also bring a great sense of accomplishment.


Quite possible. I've experienced enjoyment from that, but not accomplishment.
I'm good at a lot of what I do. This gives me some satisfaction.
It does not give me a sense of accomplishment.
Meeting a challenge successfully, does.
As does overcoming adversity.
Your mileage may vary.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 4:32:32 PM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie


What if the only thing that would be a "hardship" to the girl would be to be homeless, destitute, and starving? Everything else kind of pales in the face of that. Should he boot her ass out to, lose use of her, lose her income potential, to make her grow as a slave in the way -most- satsifying to her or should he as the owner tell her to get over it?


i commented on this earlier but you didn't respond. never did i say anything about a Master serving the slave by contriving hardships simply for her personal benefit, or doing anything contrary to his own will under any circumstances. in fact i agreed with your point that doing such would be silly. my Master does not create circumstances solely to make me suffer, nor is he serving me in any way when he does make me suffer. He simply does what he wills, and in the natural course of that, suffering is an inevitability. if everything were easy for me he would be very disappointed and likely feel that he was lacking in some way as a Master, and that likewise i was lacking as a slave. but there is no need for him to artificially induce hardships...they are simply a part of life.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 4:33:22 PM   
tricia


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As I read this thread I had some thoughts of my own.  The way I perceived  what MadRabbit and daddysprop were saying.  Hell, at this point, I may be misunderstanding it, as well.
 
I made up this scenario to help make my point.
 
Early in my relationship, my Masters asks me, “what won’t you do for me, tricia.”…. I respond with, “I won’t do this, this and this.”
 
As time goes on, my devotion, trust, commitment deepens, my Master asks me again, “what won’t you do for me?”  and this time I respond with, “there isn’t anything I won’t do for you.”
 
He could direct me to the kitchen to make him the infamous tuna on wheat.  He could use this as a testament of my desire to please him, to honor the words that I’ve spoken to him.  But my Owner has really wanted to share me with others.  He’s knows it might not always be pleasant for me. It may not be pleasurable at all.  He knows I have no real interest in being shared.  But it is something he desires.  It pleases him to do so.  It amuses him.  And so he does, without regard to my own personal feelings on being shared.
 
Perhaps there was a time when sharing me would have had me running in another direction….but I’ve grown as a submissive.  As his slave.  In my desire to put my own wants and needs second to his own.
 
He isn’t any less proud in the way I’ve grown as a person under his care and guidance.  Letting others use me has no effect on my growth as a person.  And learning to cook when two years ago I couldn’t, has little effect on my growth as a slave.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 4:42:53 PM   
BeingChewsie


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OK.  Everything I do is at his direction so it is related to my slavery. He wouldn't have me learn cantonese either, it would not serve him. He did have me learn spanish and portuguese to assist him in his real estate development firm..I can speak to his project managers. That equals growth as a slave..its is a direct service to him. Being a gourmet cook and knowing wine is important to R..very important, so learning them = growth in my slavery and as a slave. My grad degree he uses, he is sending me back for my MBA again directly to benefit him, furthering my growth as his property. I don't do anything generally that is not at his behest. None of those things caused me any hardship, they were challenging each in ther own way but I didn't dislike them, each of them caused growth in me as his property and furthered me seeing myself as negative space for the canvas that is his life, they make me a better tool.

So I'm still not clear on what type of things cause growth as a slave if not things that directly benefit the owner or make the slave see herself more as his property and less as an independent person?

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

BeingChewsie, i'll give you an example. i could take a comprehensive course, and within several months become fluent in cantonese. this would be a challenge, an admirable accomplishment, and may help me to grow as a person. it would make me desireable in the eyes of certain employers, therefore increasing my earning potential. however becoming fluent in cantonese would not help me to grow as a slave, because it would not serve my Master in any way. He does not wish me to be employed by anyone other than himself, therefore the earning potential aspect would be irrelevant. He would not find any more value in me as his slave. learning cantonese may have been something i have always longed to do, but it would be a selfish goal, not one that served my Master.

likewise...i have always had a fear of driving. if i overcame this fear and learned how to drive, one could say i will have grown as a person. however my Master has no desire for me to serve him by driving and running errands...to him it is more desireable that i lack this skill and maintain this fear, because it serves him by adding to my vulnerability and powerlessness in our relationship.

this is what i mean by growing as an individual as opposed to growing as a slave. simply because one is a slave, does not mean that all growth they achieve relates to their slavery.


< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 7/19/2007 4:44:59 PM >


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 4:53:24 PM   
KnightofMists


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a reply to know one in particular.....

A person plants a tree. 

It's a fine tree. 
It grows delicious fruit from this tree.
It shades one from the hot Sun and even the rain.

Is this a strong tree?  It is definitly a valued tree for what it provides.

But is it a strong tree?

A strong wind blows...

do some branches break?
do some leaves blow away?

or does the tree truck snap and fall to the ground.

It can be a rich tree but still be weak to the wind.

It could be a poor tree but still strong to the wind.

or maybe it both rich in what it gives an strong in what it can withstand.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 5:03:23 PM   
BeingChewsie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie


What if the only thing that would be a "hardship" to the girl would be to be homeless, destitute, and starving? Everything else kind of pales in the face of that. Should he boot her ass out to, lose use of her, lose her income potential, to make her grow as a slave in the way -most- satsifying to her or should he as the owner tell her to get over it?


i commented on this earlier but you didn't respond. never did i say anything about a Master serving the slave by contriving hardships simply for her personal benefit, or doing anything contrary to his own will under any circumstances. in fact i agreed with your point that doing such would be silly. my Master does not create circumstances solely to make me suffer, nor is he serving me in any way when he does make me suffer. He simply does what he wills, and in the natural course of that, suffering is an inevitability. if everything were easy for me he would be very disappointed and likely feel that he was lacking in some way as a Master, and that likewise i was lacking as a slave. but there is no need for him to artificially induce hardships...they are simply a part of life.


You lost me on this, so if you are so thankful to be his that nothing he asks of you causes you to feel hardship or genuine suffering and lets say your life was a "hardship" before he took you, so much so that life now is a cakewalk, he would feel he was lacking as a Master, he is doing as he wants right? you are obeying right?..I won't even pretend to understand that. How would you be lacking as a slave if the life he provided you with now was so much better than your previous one that you just couldn't find hardship in it? R does what he will, always has, I got to tell you I'm really hardpressed to find anything that could cause me hardship considering what my life was like before he took me compared to the life he provides for myself and my offspring now.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 7/19/2007 5:22:12 PM >


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 5:05:40 PM   
heartfeltsub


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quote:

He simply does what he wills, and in the natural course of that, suffering is an inevitability. if everything were easy for me he would be very disappointed and likely feel that he was lacking in some way as a Master, and that likewise i was lacking as a slave. but there is no need for him to artificially induce hardships...they are simply a part of life.


Having read this thread on and off all day, i think this quote is at the heart of the matter being discussed, the concept that suffering is an inevitably and if you were not suffering that he would feel he was lacking as a Master, that he would somehow be "less" of a Master is he didn't make you suffer and that you would be less of a slave for not suffering. i don't know if there is a concept that i could disagree with more strongly. While that may be true in your dynamic there are a myriad of Masters and slaves alike who do not judge their worth as a Master or a slave by the suffering they cause nor the suffering they are forced to endure.

There are also a myriad of responses that i would like to make to that particular way of perceiving Master/slave relationships, none of which do i think would be beneficial or well received, so i will leave it alone.

heartfelt

*edited because i can't type well tonight


< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 7/19/2007 5:06:55 PM >


_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 5:07:38 PM   
BeingChewsie


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KOM,

I'm not suggesting that the owner doesn't do what he will and that the wind doesn't blow and knock off branches etc, I'm not saying sometimes that tree doesn't feel like its going to snap...but if the tree had formerly been in a place that was bone dry and got very little sun, and it was pest infested  and dying ...and now lived in this place with food, water, was well-cared for..I doubt it would see the occasional storm as any type of hardship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

a reply to know one in particular.....

A person plants a tree. 

It's a fine tree. 
It grows delicious fruit from this tree.
It shades one from the hot Sun and even the rain.

Is this a strong tree?  It is definitly a valued tree for what it provides.

But is it a strong tree?

A strong wind blows...

do some branches break?
do some leaves blow away?

or does the tree truck snap and fall to the ground.

It can be a rich tree but still be weak to the wind.

It could be a poor tree but still strong to the wind.

or maybe it both rich in what it gives an strong in what it can withstand.


_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 6:08:56 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

He simply does what he wills, and in the natural course of that, suffering is an inevitability. if everything were easy for me he would be very disappointed and likely feel that he was lacking in some way as a Master, and that likewise i was lacking as a slave. but there is no need for him to artificially induce hardships...they are simply a part of life.


Having read this thread on and off all day, i think this quote is at the heart of the matter being discussed, the concept that suffering is an inevitably and if you were not suffering that he would feel he was lacking as a Master, that he would somehow be "less" of a Master is he didn't make you suffer and that you would be less of a slave for not suffering. i don't know if there is a concept that i could disagree with more strongly. While that may be true in your dynamic there are a myriad of Masters and slaves alike who do not judge their worth as a Master or a slave by the suffering they cause nor the suffering they are forced to endure.

There are also a myriad of responses that i would like to make to that particular way of perceiving Master/slave relationships, none of which do i think would be beneficial or well received, so i will leave it alone.

heartfelt

*edited because i can't type well tonight



um... who are you quoting...?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 6:12:17 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

KOM,

I'm not suggesting that the owner doesn't do what he will and that the wind doesn't blow and knock off branches etc, I'm not saying sometimes that tree doesn't feel like its going to snap...but if the tree had formerly been in a place that was bone dry and got very little sun, and it was pest infested  and dying ...and now lived in this place with food, water, was well-cared for..I doubt it would see the occasional storm as any type of hardship.



well.. I never related to where the tree was planted.   that is an entirely different issue all together.  Nor does a storm indicate hardship.  A drought.. maybe...but a storm comes and it goes... hardly a hardship.... but it can be a challenge.. it can also lead to some suffering for a time.  Or it could be just a blip on the road of life.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 6:14:15 PM   
heartfeltsub


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i was quoting prop, not you, am not sure why it said i was replying to you.

heartfelt


_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 6:15:40 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

He simply does what he wills, and in the natural course of that, suffering is an inevitability. if everything were easy for me he would be very disappointed and likely feel that he was lacking in some way as a Master, and that likewise i was lacking as a slave. but there is no need for him to artificially induce hardships...they are simply a part of life.


Having read this thread on and off all day, i think this quote is at the heart of the matter being discussed, the concept that suffering is an inevitably and if you were not suffering that he would feel he was lacking as a Master, that he would somehow be "less" of a Master is he didn't make you suffer and that you would be less of a slave for not suffering. i don't know if there is a concept that i could disagree with more strongly. While that may be true in your dynamic there are a myriad of Masters and slaves alike who do not judge their worth as a Master or a slave by the suffering they cause nor the suffering they are forced to endure.

There are also a myriad of responses that i would like to make to that particular way of perceiving Master/slave relationships, none of which do i think would be beneficial or well received, so i will leave it alone.

heartfelt

*edited because i can't type well tonight



Its not that far fetched of a concept really.

In the sense of religion and spirituality, people put themselves threw periods of suffering all time out of devotion and faith. Chasity, fastings, self flaggelations, the list goes on and on.

I know a few people who incorporate the concepts of suffering and sacrifice and martyrdom into their M/S relationships in a spiritual sense.

Masochism and the enduring of pain isnt always physical and isnt always for the endorphins.




_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 6:17:43 PM   
Corve


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Maybe sharing you is master showing off his fortune and pleasure he lives from his sexually skilled obedient slave.  Maybe it is a make a slave more humble in her life of service.  There could be many reasons.

Master Corve

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 6:33:36 PM   
libbiez


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i like to be shared actualy, but would never want to be lent out or sold...

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