Stephann
Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006 From: Portland, OR Status: offline
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So, in stark contrast to the snarkiness here, I figure AKA's got some issues he's trying to seriously work out. Maybe he's not as empathatic as the rest of us geninues, but he seems to take a bloody nose well and tries to learn from it. I know sometimes I'm just too thick headed for my own good, too, so occasionally I have a hard to seeing my head from my ass. Anyway. AKA, I get the impression that your girl is a bit of a spoiled princess slave, sometimes. That's fine, because you're a bit of a spoiled Top. Attractive people sometimes catch this nasty bug, and end up 'resenting' each other, relationship wise. It's not really resentment over what you're being forced to do or not do, but rather to have to bend towards another's will, especially if the person who's instructing you doesn't seem to be very empathetic about it. You might want to consider a little closer how much affection you give her, in these situations. It should be as simple as saying flatly "the dishes need to be done" but in reality, spending the extra 10 seconds to say, in a warm voice "Darling? I'd like it if you did the dishes after we're finished eating." Voila. No longer is this a "I'm strong, you're weak, do the fucking dishes" it becomes "I'm making an executive decision on behalf of the household, and we'll all be happier if you do the dishes." Trying to balance an even work load, i.e. assuming some of the domestic responsibilities will go a loooooong way towards making her obedience more palatable to her. Remember, just as you're suffering growing pains, so is she. This shouldn't about a struggle between you two, but a struggle you both work towards overcoming. It isn't about her defying you, or hating you, or undermining you. It's where you get a chance to be patient, to remind her there are obligations. Keeping your emotions in check is the first step. Since I don't know the specifics, I'll go with dishwashing. I tell slave to wash the dishes. An hour later, I notice they aren't done, and she's watching TV. I warmly ask her to turn the TV off. I ask her kindly to kneel in front of me (I do this often, so she's not immediately alarmed.) I cup her cheek, look her in the eyes, and say "I noticed the dishes weren't done." Either she says nothing.... so I let her squirm a minute. or she inturrupts me, which is where I cut her of, clearly, "The DISHES... are NOT... done." This is where the look, and control, are important. "I am very... disappointed." At this point, I stand up and go wash them myself. I can't think of a more painful punishment for a submissive. Stephan
< Message edited by Stephann -- 8/23/2007 2:25:31 PM >
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Nosce Te Ipsum "The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer Men: Find a Woman here
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