RE: Resentment while obeying

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RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/25/2007 11:15:23 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

greetings all,

mia apologises if this has been said before, but when mia and her Master were just starting the relationship (we both come from a BDSM background) mia was very very frequently resentful of commands, even though to be commanded, and enslaved, and "put beneath the whip" was mia's fondest wish, and most aching need. The only thing that fixed this issue for mia was time. A slave needs quite a lot of time to trust her Master (she is giving over her entire life, that is quite a risk for anyone to take). Slaves also need time to trust themselves (my desire is finally *out* in the open, can i do it? do i have the courage, and strength to follow my dreams???) and the dynamic of the relationship before they can let go, and just be what they are. Might mia suggest, instead of pushing her to be a certain way and trying to mould her at this early stage, maybe "stand back" and just watch her, sit and talk with her about *her* goals, *her* wishes for her slavery, and how she sees herself; get to know what you have at your feet; mia knows that if people do that with her, her slave responses come naturally, she bonds very easily.

mia hopes she hasn't offended, or displeased with her reply.

girl wishes well,

mia{L}
Property of Logos.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 3:20:10 AM

Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Master and I sat down and discussed, and we have come to the conclusion that me being a switch was trying to top at the wrong times I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

_____________________________

slave jodi

(in reply to SlaveSoul)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 8:15:38 AM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

Master and I sat down and discussed, and we have come to the conclusion that me being a switch was trying to top at the wrong times I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

Wow. The problem is all you and no him.

Is anybody surprised?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 8:42:34 AM

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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Nope.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 10:14:30 AM

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

Master and I sat down and discussed, and we have come to the conclusion that me being a switch was trying to top at the wrong times I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

Ok...and how does Master propose to resolve this dilemma?

_____________________________

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 10:20:06 AM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

Master and I sat down and discussed, and we have come to the conclusion that me being a switch was trying to top at the wrong times I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

Ok...and how does Master propose to resolve this dilemma?

Punishment of course!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 10:23:51 AM

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

Master and I sat down and discussed, and we have come to the conclusion that me being a switch was trying to top at the wrong times I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

Ok...and how does Master propose to resolve this dilemma?

Punishment of course!

LOL....But of course! Why didn't I think of that? What better way to confront that egregious sin of not trusting Master?

(egad....)

_____________________________

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 11:49:47 AM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

Master and I sat down and discussed, and we have come to the conclusion that me being a switch was trying to top at the wrong times I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

Ok...and how does Master propose to resolve this dilemma?

Well obviously he doesn't need to do any work or thinking about this. It's all her fault so she will fix the problem by herself and be punished if she doesn't.

The next time AK posts I'm just going to ask him if he wants actual advice or if he just wants me to tell him what he wants to hear.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/26/2007 12:40:34 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 11:54:11 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

I was trying to protect myself from things I was afarid of instead of trusting in Master to decide what was right for me.

Huh...

I would actually call that the right thing and not the wrong thing in this case

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 2:05:45 PM

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

My personal opinion is that Doms can be like managers -- some are just better at it than others.

I believe that the OP is not an effective manager and should probably step down from the position. As a peon, or sub, I would resent him too and would have little or no respect for him, regardless of what title he has.

Just my .02.

Oh, and BTW, some of the *excellent* Doms, IMO, would be Stephann and KnightofMysts. I believe I could proudly, and without a hint of resentment, serve either of them.

**Edited to correct a comma error.**

< Message edited by bamabbwsub -- 8/26/2007 2:07:38 PM >

(in reply to Aswad)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 3:07:44 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

The next time AK posts I'm just going to ask him if he wants actual advice or if he just wants me to tell him what he wants to hear.

save yourself the trouble and just post...

Punish the Bitch!! it's all her fault!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 3:26:21 PM

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

The next time AK posts I'm just going to ask him if he wants actual advice or if he just wants me to tell him what he wants to hear.

save yourself the trouble and just post...

Punish the Bitch!! it's all her fault!!!

*sighs and wipes the water off the monitor*

i really do know better than to drink or eat while reading the forums....

kitten, who is glad it wasnt rum & coke through the nose....

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 3:56:52 PM

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
How can we work to eliminate this between us?"

This part is how I do see it, I'm not sure why I'd seem to be any other way about it. I want to learn about resentment as it relates to M/s, in general.

What You NEED is to learn resentment as it relates to Your slave... and *news flash* the ONLY place to learn that is from HER... and i'm not flaming - i'm just giving my opinion. It sounds like Your relationship has little to no communication going on.

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 4:19:33 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

The next time AK posts I'm just going to ask him if he wants actual advice or if he just wants me to tell him what he wants to hear.

save yourself the trouble and just post...

Punish the Bitch!! it's all her fault!!!

I'm considering it...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 5:18:30 PM

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Joined: 8/11/2007
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I think the Punishment of Castle Anthrax is in order here.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 5:24:50 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Redoubt

I think the Punishment of Castle Anthrax is in order here.

Hot naughty nuns?

Kitten wants some of that peril...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Redoubt)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 5:27:11 PM

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

Oooooh! A Monty Python reference! I LOVE it!!!!!

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 5:48:59 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Everything is made better by a Monty Python reference!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Satyr6406)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 6:01:13 PM

Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

thought this was supposed to be with a score of vestgil virgins ranging in age between 16 and 17 or something like that, oh what the H give the spanking anyway

_____________________________

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284"
George Santayana

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Resentment while obeying - 8/26/2007 10:44:04 PM

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Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

This kind of made me think ... perhaps there are differing interpretations of resentment here.

Princeton defines it as "a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will", which is how I read it.

Could the OP clarify whether this interpretation is the one intended?

Pretty much the dictionary definition. I see what you mean, that slaveish seems to imply that resentment is par for the course. That's not a course I could enjoy playing. I would like to have the chance to communicate, or do somthing in order to prevent resentment, because once it happens the situation is already unpleasant.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to Aswad)

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