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The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 6:45:30 PM

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Ponder this question for a moment prior to zipping off a "standard" answer or comment.

I believe that all will agree that it carries different meanings for different individuals / for some it is a prelude to a engagement, to others it is a restrictive form of protection and to others a license to fully let go of all inhibitions.

There are many new comers daily here and a renewed understanding of what a collar represents would be helpful.

CP

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 6:49:34 PM

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A collar no matter which form it may take; be that ring, bracelet, or...Collar. Is worn by the submissive to express the master's statement of "This one belongs to me, Body, mind and sould". While at the same time it allows the Submissive to state "I live to serve and obey".

And in another way it says "If you can't see the wedding ring, this also means i'm off limits"

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 6:51:08 PM

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I think of it as kind of similar to a pet's collar.. taken, spoken for, owned, not a stray. How far that commitment goes varies from person to person, but I'd say the gist is that it means a sub it taken.

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RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 6:55:41 PM

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For some, it is a symbol of belonging to another, similar to what a wedding ring represents yet a collar also signifies a much different view of being possessed/owned.

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RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 7:10:04 PM

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For us it was symbolic of a long term commitment. I was owned for 6 months or so before I was collared. I received his collar when he felt I had reached a level of commitment to him, to my slavery, and to learning all that he wanted me to learn. It was when we both came to fully understand I was ready to walk the talk. In turn, it also signified that he was committed to staying the course with me, through my setbacks and hiccoughs along the way (I had a long way to go at the time), based on his overall pleasure with owning me and on his pleasure with my commitment to him.

It wasn't a promise of forever. It is not on par with a wedding ring. It signified we had reached a level with each other that we were both committed to evolving. It was a huge deal to me to receive that level of commitment from him, and for my own intentions to be so trusted.

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(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 7:42:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Ponder this question for a moment prior to zipping off a "standard" answer or comment.

I believe that all will agree that it carries different meanings for different individuals / for some it is a prelude to a engagement, to others it is a restrictive form of protection and to others a license to fully let go of all inhibitions.

There are many new comers daily here and a renewed understanding of what a collar represents would be helpful.

CP

Hence why the search function exists.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1004904/mpage_1/key_collared%252Cowned/tm.htm#1004914
owned vs collared

http://www.collarchat.com/m_972728/mpage_1/key_collared/tm.htm#973007
collared vs owned

http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670
The Coveted and Legendary Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475
The meaning of a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797
Please share with me (what being collared means to you)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019
public collar

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702
collars (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140
Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345
collar before love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135
What does a collar mean?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240
collar or what else?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337
Collar conundrum?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368
Kind of a collar question?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?

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(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 7:51:02 PM

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sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who doesnt think so much of a collar. (no offense to anyone or their beliefs)...but then again I will be honest in saying that its something I havent fully experienced either (at least not to the degree of it being worth talking about). Although I have spoken to enough people, read enough post and even fantasized about it and itjust...doesnt really seem like the IT of the relationship.
I believe i can be fully devoted to a dominant man, serve him well and as long as I am satisfied, content and happy in the dynamic of the relationship....a piece of metal or leather wouldnt make the relationship any more real or kinky. I have had conversations with a few men who consider and some who are dominant, where the main thing is "when i collar...this" when I put my collar...that" and its like...sheesh...could we just focus on the "here and now" than "there".
I realize that to some or a sub a collar is the ultimate gift of feeling owned...cant you be owned without one? I can really relate to the dominant side of placing a collar on a lady but...maybe someone can help with that.
I am not negative regarding the topicof collars whatsoever...and I strongly believe that if/when i receive one...i'll be happy if not more than that. But if i never get it...it wont make a difference as long as the things that truly matter within the relationship are there.

again: this wasn't / isn't intended to offend anyone. If you have a flame or an attack...pass on. Questions are certainly of interest to me...perhaps i'll realize/learn something new.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:11:52 PM

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For me, a collar is more precious to me than a ring or any other form of jewelry. A collar is a symbol that I belong to my Master. He told me it's a symbol that I'm married to him, and I believe that. His collar means I only submit to him and only him.

_____________________________

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(in reply to greenearth21)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:22:57 PM

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It's an outward appearance of one's intent.

What I wear on the inside is much more meaningfull and noticeable than the steel that's around my neck......etc.

Happy Monday!

~smilezz~

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(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:23:03 PM

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for me it symbolizes my commitment to my M'Lady and to my poly family. i am married and collared to different persons. my M'Lady and i are both married and have children not by each other. i am faithful to my wife and submissive to my M'Lady and respectfully to my M'Ladys husband. each of them has a say in what i am allowed to do and communication is open to each. my collar both my formal leather one and my vanilla one, are very important to me and value them most highly. this is how i view my collar and not how anyone else may do so.

proudly collared by LadyPact

(in reply to AngelKittyX)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:26:38 PM

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I dont feel any different about DominusDolor now than I did before He collared me. There was already a level of commitment to Him that I have never experienced before. But I find myself reaching up frequently to touch it. Its a visible, tangible reminder that someone loves me, looks out for my best interests and claims me as His own. Being separated by distance, it helps keep me centered on what I am. Since I dont see Him as often as we both would like, I need that reminder in my daily life.

< Message edited by bookworm966 -- 7/7/2008 8:27:07 PM >

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RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:31:51 PM

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To me My collar states that my Master found the true me inside, where others only looked at the surface. He saw the good girl, the Bad girl and a devilish women , who never before felt free to talk about her dark dreams or let them out. I feel that he states he wants and takes all of me, good and bad. For me this is acceptance of unconditional love for the first time. To belong to someone who loves all of me and will use it all, the good and THE BAD

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:36:06 PM

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I'm in the minority. A collar doesn't 'mean' anything to me. Whatever I feel for him is there whether a collar is around my neck or not.

I'm not knocking collars for other people, for some it means a great deal, for others not so much, and still for others, nothing at all.

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(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 8:46:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: greenearth21

sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who doesnt think so much of a collar. (no offense to anyone or their beliefs)...but then again I will be honest in saying that its something I havent fully experienced either (at least not to the degree of it being worth talking about). Although I have spoken to enough people, read enough post and even fantasized about it and itjust...doesnt really seem like the IT of the relationship.
I believe i can be fully devoted to a dominant man, serve him well and as long as I am satisfied, content and happy in the dynamic of the relationship....a piece of metal or leather wouldnt make the relationship any more real or kinky. I have had conversations with a few men who consider and some who are dominant, where the main thing is "when i collar...this" when I put my collar...that" and its like...sheesh...could we just focus on the "here and now" than "there".
I realize that to some or a sub a collar is the ultimate gift of feeling owned...cant you be owned without one? I can really relate to the dominant side of placing a collar on a lady but...maybe someone can help with that.
I am not negative regarding the topicof collars whatsoever...and I strongly believe that if/when i receive one...i'll be happy if not more than that. But if i never get it...it wont make a difference as long as the things that truly matter within the relationship are there.

again: this wasn't / isn't intended to offend anyone. If you have a flame or an attack...pass on. Questions are certainly of interest to me...perhaps i'll realize/learn something new.

I appreciate your perspective and you asked some good questions. My collar is certainly not the IT of our relationship - it is a symbol of af commitment. The IT of our relationship is my submission and his mastery of my submission, and what that creates. So I'm with you on that one. :)

I was owned prior to receiving his collar. In my life, I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. I think for me, emotionally, the collar represented my place of belonging. I was incredibly insecure the first couple of years of our relationship, and the ability to fondle my collar when nervous or unsure in life was very helpful to me. It reminded me that I belonged somewhere, and that I was wanted (a first for me). It's symbolism was very important to me during those insecure days.

This is just one person's perspective on why my collar was important to me. I like symbolisms. I like my tattood marking that he put on me. I like the collar. I like the shirt of his that he gave me to sleep in. And so on. The most important, however, is the internal bond. But this other stuff is cool, too.

_____________________________

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(in reply to greenearth21)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/7/2008 10:07:49 PM

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The collar I wear for my Domina is a marker. It reminds me of an evening when we both felt our relationship's changes were not a passing phase. How we are now is something we are committed to.

My collar, my wedding band, both from her, came to be upon me because we had grown together to those points in time that it was natural. They did not create the commitment, nor did the placement of the collar around my neck give her ownership. They only serve to mark that our journey together has passed over those bridges.

And as marks I carry, they act as powerful and sweet reminders of this reality. Months after we wed, we had to be apart for two years. And during that time, I would endlessly just tap the wedding band on things, to feel it and know she was close, though far away. Now the same with the collar, touching it to remind me when we are apart how when we are together, she has accepted my gift of submission and me her authority.

_____________________________

"Cause people often talk about being scared of change
But for me I'm more afraid of things staying the same
Cause the game is never won by standing in any one place for too long "
- Nick Cave

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/8/2008 2:02:39 AM

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For me, my collar is a symbol of my slavery to my Owner. It's a reminder to me that I have given my will over to her completely. It is also a symbol showing that I am Owned to other Masters/Mistresses, and thus am "hands off" unless given to them by Her. It reminds me everyday that I am to be pleasing to her in all ways, that I am to protect her, and accept her guidance.
My collar also has a very practical application to it when doing scene play. In the group we play with, we get into some very edgy, intense play. Alot of times I have upwards of 3 people working me at the same time, and they can be very relentless and at times extremely cruel. That sometimes seriously puts me into my lizard brain, and I become very willing to fight back. She merely needs to grab my collar, twist it, and I am on my knees back in a submissive state. I have been told that my collar is very important to the group of people we spend out time with, because the last thing they want is a berserk, 300 LB weightlifter/Bouncer coming after them.
Funny how a little thing like a slave collar can put me back into the right frame of mind so easily, but that's what works for us.

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RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/8/2008 5:52:33 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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to me - the collar around my neck is a symbol of my life long commitment and submission to Daddy accepting Him as my Dominant, Daddy, and Owner

to Daddy - it's a symbol of His life long ownership of me.

i also wear a wrist chain, ring and ankle chains - other symbols of His ownership

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 7/8/2008 5:54:04 AM >

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RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/8/2008 6:17:48 AM

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For me a collar is just a means to "walk" me.
I gave up a long time ago of it ever being anything else other than a physical thing around my neck used for control.

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RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/8/2008 6:49:51 AM

BKSir

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A collar... such a simple thing really. It goes around the neck, not much more than a piece of jewelry, a very plain one usually. Then again, so is a simple gold band that goes around the finger at a wedding.

It's entirely about intent. And that intent can, and often does, vary from person to person. To me, it's no different than a wedding ring. When I gave my pet his collar, I meant it, and still do. I asked him, repeatedly, if he was positive. If he understood that it was not just a couple straps of leather, but a solid commitment. That it meant he was my pet, and not a toy, and that I was his Master, and not just some old letch. That when he put it on, it stayed on, period. When I finally felt comfortable that he understood that, we shopped for the right one, finally having it custom made. When it was done, and in my hands, and I was standing before him, as he knelt there, hands held out to accept it, it was one of the happiest moments in my life.

He knew that it meant that we were there for eachother, to take care of eachothers needs. No, they're not the same needs that my partners and I are there for, of course not. They're unique needs, for a unique relationship. They're emotional and psychological needs. Sometimes, yes, physical as well, but that is far and away one of the least of the things we focus on. He knew all of this, I made sure of it. He still does. He knew I wouldn't have even bothered if I didn't see him as my angel, as my 'Dear One.'. And he never, ever, fails to live up to it, because in his eyes, that collar is a gift of pure sincerity from his Master, and it's worn with pride, everywhere. I would even make concessions on taking it off, I've told him so, but he refuses. Sometimes, when circumstances dictate, he will cover it, such as when we go to a formal event. The only time it comes off is for showering, simply for practicality. It is as much a point of pride in his eyes to wear it, as it is for me to have him wear my colours and tag.

So yes, it certainly has significance, but, what that significance is to me, is undoubtedly different to what it is for other people.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: The actual gist of a Collar? - 7/8/2008 7:43:07 AM

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My collar tells people who understand the lifestyle that i am owned ,belong to only one. It is a symbol, the collar he put around my heart is much stronger then the one around my neck. I like having my visible collar there when Master is not around i can reach up and run my fingers over it and feel closer to him. It never leaves my neck, he placed it there and he is the only one who can take it off. So as i said it is a symbol but it means very much to me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BKSir)

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