Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:15:04 AM   
yourstrulyMaster


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/4/2006
Status: offline
Hi, im kinda new to the scene. I was chatting with a Daddy Dom and he brought up incest, and my brain waves screeched to a halt and i was speechless. I'm pretty sure thats not what most Daddy Doms are usually about, or am i diluting myself?
I also was wondering, do They want a stay at home Betty Crocker type? Im not that either. I like to work.
Am i just barking up the wrong tree for someone to provide strong leadership values with protective affection?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:28:50 AM   
subnstudent


Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline
Well, I can't speak from experience, but it might not mean what you think it does. My thoughts on the subject are that, despite a Daddy and li'l girl relationship going on, he may want to have sex with you. Hence, incest. Now, since you're not actually blood related, it really doesn't work out that way, but in the dynamics of the relationship it might have an effect, like your aversion, for example.

And you don't need a Daddy-Dom for strong leadership values with protective affection, you just need a good compatible Dom who has those qualities. A Daddy-Dom is (IMO) someone who's looking to treat his partner like he would a daughter. The two are not one and the same but instead they overlap from time to time.

(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:32:17 AM   
yourstrulyMaster


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/4/2006
Status: offline
although it does not clarify, i think your right about the relationships being what you make of them
i might need to clarify, but He specifically said if i were your daddy, i would have done this to teach you that, then he went on to saying he will teach my daughter this and that.

(in reply to subnstudent)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:39:06 AM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
It rather depends on the Daddy dom you're talking to.  Some, like my own Daddy, are really turned on by the incest angle.  It wasn't what I was looking for in wanting a Daddy dom, but it also doesn't squick me as consentual play.  He calls what I'd consider "Daddy-Girl" play "Daddy-Daughter" play.  I've seen incest on some roleplay scenario lists both online and in some books, so it's not uncommon.  However, it sounds like you may have hit a hard limit with that concept.  If it's not for you, it's good that you found out about it before you started negotiating with someone in ernest.

Other Daddy doms look at "Daddy" as a title for a more nurturing or mentor type of dominant role on top of what they might otherwise do as a dominant.  The term becomes similar to "Master," "Mistress," "M'Lord," "M'Lady," "Sir," "Ma'am" or any other variant -- a title that could give an inkling as to the relationship involved.

Like other Doms, some Daddy doms are into domestic service and some aren't -- you'd have to ask the Daddy in particular.

(in reply to subnstudent)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:39:45 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
If a guy said that to me about my child I'd smack him in the chops

Let me rephrase that ... if ANYONE said that to me about my child I'd smack them in the chops ...

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 2/23/2007 5:46:02 AM >


_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:41:05 AM   
yourstrulyMaster


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/4/2006
Status: offline
thats what im saying

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:43:33 AM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourstrulyMaster

i might need to clarify, but He specifically said if i were your daddy, i would have done this to teach you that, then he went on to saying he will teach my daughter this and that.

Er.  No, I certainly haven't encountered that before.  Ew.  I don't think that anyone should mention someone's children's sexually without first -- and very gently -- getting that person's consent.  Then again, short of for medical reasons, I have to wonder why they'd bring it up at all.

eek.

(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:56:19 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourstrulyMaster

Hi, im kinda new to the scene. I was chatting with a Daddy Dom and he brought up incest, and my brain waves screeched to a halt and i was speechless. I'm pretty sure thats not what most Daddy Doms are usually about, or am i diluting myself?
I also was wondering, do They want a stay at home Betty Crocker type? Im not that either. I like to work.
Am i just barking up the wrong tree for someone to provide strong leadership values with protective affection?



Here is an article that explains it fairly well:





Daddy Doms

By Kendra

Daddy/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. In my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy *s*) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman.

He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals. Daddy Dom is a feeling, an environment that two people have created. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides.

So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom?

A Daddy Dom wants to be the center of your universe. He wants to be able to provide for your every need and care. But more than that he wants to be able to shape and mold you to the image he thinks you should become. He sees in you someone who can achieve a much higher, much greater status. He believes more in you than you believe in yourself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of you, the image he has created. To achieve these goals he relies on a combination of love, respect, and discipline.

His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.

This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it’s value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him.

He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises.

If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.

This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength to do what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.

A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn’t matter. To him she is beautiful.

Daddy Dom and sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many little girls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship.

I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive’s life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it’s participants crave.

There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 6:20:26 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
hello

i can only speak about my relationship and generalize everyone else's.

i have a DaddyDom and it's not about incest/sex in my relationship with Him. there's sex but it's not the foundation of our Daddy-daughter realationship either. Daddy is merely the Daddy i never had while growing up with my military father. His focus is mainly strengthening my strong, independent and successful part of me into something better than it was  before i met Him. this is what makes our relationship quite unique because not only do we connect on the BDSM part but as vanillas too.

Daddy treats me like His daughter by molding and shaping my life as well as nurture my hidden talents so i can achieve my full potential and goals that He wants me to reach.  On the Dom side, He treats me like a submissive by controlling certain aspects of my life such as approving (or not approving) the guys i meet and would like to date however His control isn't to micromanage every single detail of my day. according to Him, this type of domination wouldn't work for someone like me and that's not what He's all about either.



_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 7:39:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourstrulyMaster

Hi, im kinda new to the scene. I was chatting with a Daddy Dom and he brought up incest, and my brain waves screeched to a halt and i was speechless. I'm pretty sure thats not what most Daddy Doms are usually about, or am i diluting myself?

Deluding.

Diluting is when you make something  (usually liquid) weaker in concentration.

No, incest is not typical of daddy type relationships.  They aren't exclusive however.
quote:


I also was wondering, do They want a stay at home Betty Crocker type? Im not that either. I like to work.
Am i just barking up the wrong tree for someone to provide strong leadership values with protective affection?

If you don't fit what they want and they don't fit what you want, then no, this is not a good match.

The good news is that you know this now and can choose accordingly.


http://www.collarchat.com/m_668543/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#668698
Age play dynamics

http://www.collarchat.com/m_580865/mpage_1/key_age%252Cplay/tm.htm#580890
Ms and age play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_546688/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#546972
Another daddy dom question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_541638/mpage_2/key_daddy/tm.htm#541832
How does a dom decide to be a daddy ?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_540044/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#540129
Daddy's Girl

http://www.collarchat.com/m_278285/mpage_2/key_daddy/tm.htm#278992
What exactly is a daddy dom?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_259176/mpage_1/key_daddy/tm.htm#259184
Are there any daddies here?

Daddy/Daughter Roleplay

Daddydoms and Babygirls

Daddy?

Daddy/little girl

Hiding Daddy's Belt

Daddy doms

Daddy's little girl

Daddy? (2)


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 7:42:01 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
there is in all D/s relationships a parental aspect because of the locus of control. from what i have encountered how the daddy aspect is acted out varies between individuals.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 7:56:42 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
Unfortunately there are men out there who seek women with daughters because they want to prey on children. If you still have his email, send it to the mods here. Hopefully they will forward it to the FBI. At the very least he'll be banned from here.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 8:01:20 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
My personal experience with two daddy doms was that one was very interested in incest role play and one was not. I did do that form of role play with him on several occasions and found it sexy as hell and a huge turn on...though I have no "real" interest in incest.

An interesting thing that I have found from talking to several daddy doms is the overwhelming majority of strong daddy doms I spoke with had no biological UMs nor interest in dating a woman with UMs.

If a man wants to date a woman with UMS and mentions an interest in incest, that would be a HUGE red flag for me.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 8:36:55 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
read my thread about punishment vs. nurturing in the general forum.  While I think it applies to most D/s relationships, it is very much how I view my role as a "daddy".

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 12:40:49 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline
         I have chatted with many Daddy Doms and I even use to call my late Master "Daddy"..but it was because he cared for me like a daughter (on a non-sexual basis)...There was never the thought of incest--

_____________________________

Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 12:56:01 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
My experience with the Daddy Dom dynamic is soooo Not sexual it is beyond not sexual.

it is a bond that is based upon a devotion, education and kindness inprovement and selfless caring.  they were two of the most rewarding relationships of my life.   I only hope that every one could feel the unconditional caring that i have exerienced

red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 5:27:12 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline
A Daddy dom has nothing to do with incest in any form.
A "Daddy" takes care and protects his child/girl and does not consider even the thought of harm..

If he is talking incest then RUN do not walk the other way...

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 9:11:30 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
The gist has been said.

Consensual incest is an extreme kink.  It's still a kink, and still consensual.  Children shouldn't come of such unions, because that child cannot consent to being born with genetic weaknesses or defects.

Incest, in and of it self, is rarely a kink driven by an actual desire to be with a real family member.  The strength of it's taboo is usually the allure; like with k-9, watersports, or even anal sex for some folks.  I don't think the question is if it's an acceptable taboo or not; it's a question of how taboo is 'too' taboo for you.

No, Daddy-Doms are not inherently (or even usually) focused on incest.  In my experience with my last girl, the term Daddy didn't mean her literal father; it came to be a concept or title.  This included sex.  I didn't see anything inherently or incestuous about it.

Obviously, if two people are planning to engage in a real time, full time relationship, and there are children present, than the topic of children is vital.  Obviously, there is a line between saying "if I was there, and you weren't, I would discipline your daughter by grounding here" and discussing anything that (well, frankly, would violate the Terms of Service on this website.)  We weren't flies on the wall, but as your squicky alarm was rung, I imagine you know what to do about that.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 9:41:24 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
Yeah, when people mention how they'll begin to teach your bio person this that and the other time to oust them out the cyber door.


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourstrulyMaster

then he went on to saying he will teach my daughter this and that.


(in reply to yourstrulyMaster)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? - 2/23/2007 9:53:08 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
I actually didn't want to participate in age play with my Dom at first, because I didn't fully understand it and I thought perhaps he viewed it in a weird incest kind of way ... but he explained it to me ... his thoughts and views and how he saw his role.  It was more of a nurturer  and a mentor, than a daddy.  But he uses the term Daddy because he teaches me so much.  After talking about it ... it was all a lot clearer and now I love calling him daddy and love being his lil girl.  But if ... in the beginning ... he had mixed sex along with the duty of a Daddy ... I would have asked him to take a hike.


_____________________________

My Journal

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Daddy Dom differences, could you clairify? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.781