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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 11:30:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

...limits is no longer a subject of conversation for us. If I'm to be true to myself, I need to give myself freely and unencumbered, and without self imposed rules. That's who I am. And he wants a slave who will do that. That's what makes us compatible, not a particular check list. Not slighting anyone else who is different than this...just saying it's what I needed to do.

simply and beautifully said, and true for me as well. i could never be at peace or fulfilled in a relationship where i was permitted to hold anything back, or retain any power or authority over myself and my fate...likewise my Master could never be at peace or fulfilled in a relationship in which he did not have absolute authority and control, and could shape his mate's destiny at will. having this in common was far more important than any potential list of limits.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 11:32:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Forgive me: IMO this is not healthy.
Post the same in 20 years time and I might accept it as such.

Aswad hit most of the important points.

Leaping out of perfectly good and functioning airplanes isn't healthy. I'd do it in a second. Someone who tried to stop me, could very well end up on my bad side.

Not everyone wants/desires/seeks relationships that we consider to be healthy. To boot, there's nothing inherently wrong, with short term relationships; you need to go through lots of the 'wrong' people, to get to the right ones.

Stephan

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 11:45:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I did not seek out someone whose limits met mine and then take them on as my own. His limits far exceeded what mine would have been at the time.

Death is not a limit for me. I came to learn that it is for him, however. But this does not mean if he changed his mind and it was no longer a limit, I would turn it into one for myself....
. That's what makes us compatible, not a particular check list. Not slighting anyone else who is different than this...just saying it's what I needed to do.

What an excellent point

I understand that so well, yet it is so difficult for me to fully comprehend sometimes when applying that to no limits. I can understand being compatible without necessarilly sharing the exact same desires (by this i mean preferential choices in a Ds context). A relationship is more than a check list, and just because someone has the same views on anything, does not mean compatibility. The contradictions go on and on.

Yet, I have stated the opposite when analyzing my thoughts on "No Limits". I wonder if limits are or become compatible (agreeable) within a union in order for the relationship to be successful. However, for me, the same standard is not needed in desires or a check list to be somewhat identical to be perfectly matched . In other words, I could serve a Master without having all my desires met (in my case a fetish) but my limits would have to be agreeable to accurately claim a "no limits" status.

My apologies, this barely makes sense to me.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/16/2007 12:08:25 PM >

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 11:51:55 AM

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Greetings
I am going to touch on something that camille65 said here.
I don't get someone stating no limits for everyone
I too, agree with this. What I may enjoy with one person; I may refuse to even try with another, no matter how well I know the person or how compatible we may be.
jaxon

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A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 11:56:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb

Within the context of a LTR, as time has passed and trust has grown, I can reach a point where my only limits are HER limits.

By consensus of thoughts posted here........would this make your relationship reach the status of "No Limits"?

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 12:07:16 PM

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You can not possibly speak for every one in the entire lifestyle who has ever or is ever in a D/s relationship.

There's one person on here who's very much no limits, and while I am not free to speak for her nor do I wish to, because I only know her from what she posts, she'd do anything, and has so before, for her Master.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

I hate chest beaters. We all have limits-death is a limit.

(in reply to RRafe)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 12:07:57 PM

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I just would like to say....that makes perfect sense to me. It is always best to choose wisely, but it is even better to know oneself first, prior to choosing. Though that is not always easy when one is totally new to this. Many times you just honestly don't know how far you can go when new, and it also changes over time. But I guess we just do the best we can. And if we make mistakes, we learn from them.

I too, have choosen a Master who values me enough to not harm or damage me. His limits have become my limits, so with him I don't really have limits. I love to keep my mind open to new possibilities. I don't have to worry that he will damage me physically or emotionally...and that to me...is really freeing. I can go to deeper levels with him, and experience things that if I was constantly worrying "Will this time be too far for me?", I wouldn't experience the feelings and emotions that I do. This usually takes knowing someone well enough to trust them, and you can't expect someone you just met, or are just scening casually with, to really know when you have been pushed way too far. I guess if you are going to do that though, its up to you, and if you care about yourself and the person you are casually scening with, its up to you to set your limits, and negotiate with them. Otherwise, you never really know if he or she will go too far. And then again, at that point it is also your own fault as well as theirs. If I was out there casually scening with others without him, I would not say I have no limits, but that is me. I can only speak for myself.

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 12:13:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jaxnsax

Greetings
I am going to touch on something that camille65 said here.
I don't get someone stating no limits for everyone
I too, agree with this. What I may enjoy with one person; I may refuse to even try with another, no matter how well I know the person or how compatible we may be.
jaxon

I tend to agree with this as well. If not, we could start a thread and pinpoint these individuals and illicit credit card information and bank routing numbers.

I understand "going into" a relationship versus an established relationship debate however......in an established relationship, Does no longer having a need for limits equate a "NO LIMITS" status?

For me, the two are very different things

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 9/16/2007 12:57:57 PM >

_____________________________

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 12:19:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

...limits is no longer a subject of conversation for us. If I'm to be true to myself, I need to give myself freely and unencumbered, and without self imposed rules. That's who I am. And he wants a slave who will do that. That's what makes us compatible, not a particular check list. Not slighting anyone else who is different than this...just saying it's what I needed to do.

simply and beautifully said, and true for me as well. i could never be at peace or fulfilled in a relationship where i was permitted to hold anything back, or retain any power or authority over myself and my fate...likewise my Master could never be at peace or fulfilled in a relationship in which he did not have absolute authority and control, and could shape his mate's destiny at will. having this in common was far more important than any potential list of limits.

Third times a charm on this one..I agree. I use no limits to mean very simply there is not a limit that I have the power(authority, control or influence) to impose or enforce in relation to R. He'd walk right over them if his bigger plans involved something on my "to not do list". We don't discuss limits or imposing limits, we are not a "can't do" relationship but a "can do" relationship. I like going through life not holding onto the wheel or being able to grab it back...at some point you have to have faith in your driver to navigate the road. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I had one shred of doubt about him.

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"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 12:34:51 PM

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can any of us ever say what our true limits are until we have been pushed to them. i don't know yet what my limits are. i may be pushed to them one day, but until that happens my Daddy holds the reigns. when and if i reach a place that i can't go i know he will respect that and not push me too far. if he ever does he knows that i would not love and respect him as i do. he also wants to keep me around, and be able to enjoy me for his pleasure. if he damages me then that will all change. i am not a temporary toy for him. i am his property and he takes care of what he owns. he respects me enough to tell him if it is too much and listens to what i have to say. he ultimately has the last word, but he also loves me enough to trust in what i tell him

JMO

Shima

BOUND BY CHAINS, BUT FREE TO SOAR

(in reply to UR2Badored)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 1:32:37 PM

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erm...no limits is rubbish i think.
Somewhere in the field of *His limits are mine* etc. But everybody has limits. Everybody. The differences lies in the intensity of those.
How far would i go? I would go with lots of communication and it being fun to me. I dont do pressure and without fun.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 1:59:08 PM

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I interpret "no limits" in the literal sense, therefore I really dislike the term.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 1:59:13 PM

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Yes. I believe one can say w hat their limits are, if they haven't been pushed to them yet In terms of somethings.. I will never ever do anything with kids, nobodies ever asked, and I know I won't even with nobody asking. Of course you probably didn't mean those kinds of limits.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shima13

can any of us ever say what our true limits are until we have been pushed to them.

(in reply to Shima13)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 5:06:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
Context is important.

The literal "no limits" on its own means just that. Every right she has she is surrendering, making clear her intention to never claim a right to anything.

This is what baffles me about making such a claim. What if sub Jane Doe meets very compatible Dom John Doe. Everything is perfectly content and after years, Dom John Doe becomes more extreme surpassing the tolerance of sub Jane Doe and her initial needs and desires. sub Jane Doe, at this point, adores and love Domly Dom John Doe and wants more than anything to make it work but is miserable. Domly Dom John Doe thinks he knows best, but sub Jane doesnt think so at this point. Has sub Jan Doe given up any right to make assertions that may ultimately save the relationship?

end question to Bobkgin

Jane is in the position of either accepting John's decisions, or re-asserting her rights (which any LE officer will enforce for her if need be).

Jane has come to realize her belief in "no limits" was in error.

She does have limits, otherwise she would not be "miserable".

Understand that no one can force another to live "without limits", that this is a voluntary suspension of rights agreed to by the slave.

As long as she refuses to assert her rights, she is cooperating with their abridgement, which she is free to do (as boxers suspend certain rights in order to fight, etc).

But she is also free in our society to reassert her rights whenever she wishes.

In the above case, Jane can reassert her right to speak freely, explain the situation to John, and hope he is sympathetic. This assumes John has denied her the freedom to speak freely. If he has granted her the freedom to speak freely, she should exercise it.

Or she can reassert her right to freedom, and leave.

What she cannot do is force John to change. For the relationship to survive, John would have to agree to the changes.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to UR2Badored)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 5:22:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

If he gets a brain tumor and goes crazy from it ... I see absolutely no good reason why they shouldn't be allowed to make such a decision for themselves.

With respect, are we now saying it is okay for clinically insane people to be involved in BDSM?

Assuming such an individual is not institutionalized for his own safety, since when did the BDSM community agree that those who are not "Sane" can effectively and competently make decisions with respect to their participation in BDSM?

How far down the ladder of insanity do we go before it is "not ok"?

on edit: I'll make clear this is in the context of a verifiable organic disorder affecting cognitive processes (ie a brain tumour). Non-organic disorders is yet another can of worms waiting to be opened.

< Message edited by Bobkgin -- 9/16/2007 5:27:56 PM >

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Aswad)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 5:52:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

quote:

ORIGINAL: AFlyInYourWeb

Within the context of a LTR, as time has passed and trust has grown, I can reach a point where my only limits are HER limits.

By consensus of thoughts posted here........would this make your relationship reach the status of "No Limits"?

There is seldom a "consensus of thought" in most discussions, which is why I enjoy reading message boards. I enjoy the back-and-forth and give-and-take, and sometimes in the process, someone will say something that never occured to me before the debate.

In my mind, making her limits the only limits leaves me without limits of my own. I have no guarantee that down the line her limits will not be stretched or somehow change, and I'd be honor-bound to follow her lead. I anticipate this.

That is why I place such a high value on the Domme's "moral compass" being something like my own. Might she decide later on to do something I don't [at least initially] like or even actively dislike? Probably, she eventually will. That is understood when I hand her that level of power over me. What I am more concerned with is whether she would decide to do something that would be "immoral" [as I define it]. That is the larger risk, but if her moral outlook is similar enough to mine, the probability of that happening is pretty low.

Taking the time to get to know my potential partner's moral compass, and their level of competence and caring, would be a key to success in a vanilla LTR. When we throw Dominance/submission into the relationship stew, it raises the stakes if I choose poorly...but quadruples the rewards if I choose wisely.

(in reply to UR2Badored)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 6:00:39 PM

RaptureOfDesire

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I sometimes think this topic is being over evaluated. When a Master and sub meet, I do believe that limits are understood, if they exist. If no limits exist and it is expected that "anything goes", then that is also immediately established. A sub should also know and understand the consequences of telling a Master that as well. I have only ever had one Master, and we literally had NO LIMITS, and my master, makes hannible lector look like a puppy dog. Have I been scared to death - yes. Have I experienced unimmaginable pain - yes. Do I regret it - no way! If a sub tells her Master that she/he has no limits and they really do, they are setting themselves up for disaster. That is simply my opinion. Openness and honesty as the best policy, in any kind of relationship.

(in reply to AFlyInYourWeb)

RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 6:02:58 PM

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i would say where fantasy runs amuk.. Where the separation between reality and imagination go to far.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 6:11:27 PM

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FR
ok disclaimer of i haven't read each and every post on the thread cause i have seen each and every arguement for and against "no limits"....heck i have probably argued both sides...but a light bulb just went on in my head that i didn't see ever before after reading some post on one of the previous pages...so...kudos to who ever said that and i wanted to highlight it...

this lifestyle between two (or more) consenting adults...
criminally/legally insane = no longer able to concent from EITHER SIDE
they both consent...duh! (that was to me..btw)

so yea...if either one unable to consent to being in the power exchange relationship, it makes the power exchange situation null and void so talking about having "no limits" and what you would do if your Dominant developed a brain tumor and went insane and told you to kill your mother or whatever is redundant...

ahhh i feel much better now...i have solved the issue...now on to world hunger and peace in the middle east....or perhaps fixing dinner....
chelle

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 9/16/2007 6:12:04 PM >

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 9/16/2007 6:17:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Fast Reply to no one in particular....

Despite having read three pages of sanity, I pressed on... knowing that eventually it would devolve into utter silliness demanding an equal standing upon the mantle of logic and reality. Why do people persist in affording it a place that it does not deserve?

John

Because people are full of shit.

Edited to Add : I cant help but notice that only on the Internet do people fall sway to this idea that a healthy relationship can exist without boundaries.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 9/16/2007 6:24:13 PM >

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