whats the difference?

whats the difference? (Full Version)

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hallieB -> whats the difference? (6/21/2008 6:06:09 PM)
Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 6:14:53 PM)
There is so much on this one, just do a search in the forums and you will find tons of info. Mike

ToOwnATrueSlave -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 6:16:13 PM)
almost everything you will find will tell you "call yourself what makes you feel the happiest" sub/slave its all amater of perspective.

SweetNika -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 6:21:58 PM)
I classify myself as a submissive, but when trust is built I naturally give all of me to my owner thus becoming his slave. Yet, consider myself a dominant towards other women. Don't get so caught up in trying to fit into a label that you allow the label to define you instead of you defining it, regardless of weather you consider yourself a submissive or slave you aim to please your one and that your true to yourself. Those are the important thing in my opinion. Blessed be, Nika

OsideGirl -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 6:36:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hallieB I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. The only difference is what you make it. It's all about what your prefer. The way I live life many would call me a slave, but I prefer to called a submissive.

dragon2760 -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 9:22:32 PM)
Been here, asked that. I do though have to agree with the last three post that you do have to define that for yourself. So take everything you read with a grain of salt and determine what works best for you.

stella41b -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 9:45:13 PM)
I was told that a submissive has limits, a slave hasn't, so I guess it's down to how much control each person in the relationship has over the other. But you know that relationship you're forming is unique in itself, so I guess it's down to how you choose to define yourself and your role and how you wish to be perceived. As for how you will be perceived by others, well, that's for them to work out. We're dealing with abstract concepts here, as opposed to something concrete. If I describe myself as a donkey, you would probably think I'm being an ass and laugh at me. If I describe myself as a submissive, you would be more inclined to take me at face value.

hopelessfool -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 10:11:04 PM)
I personally dont think the term "slave" exists in this lifestyle. Slavery is and always will in my mind be something thats non consentual. I believe that there are many submissives that are deeply submissive to the point of being very slave like. But as long as their relationship is based on consent, I think its very deep submission that is slave like in nature, but not actual slavery. But as I view it if I were to believe consentual slavery existed Slave is one who drew up a contract with certian unbreakable limits (Ie no harm no abuse things against ToS) And after signing that with a certian time constraint (people do change so maybe once every 6 months to a year) They follow what they agreed to do during the time of their contract. Ie if you didnt let your owner know you couldnt be with a woman no matter what and didnt put it as a limit and he faced you with that challenge and denied your request to add it to the limits you follow through. You have the right to say No in such a situation to only things listed on that contract. A submissive is ones with limits that are allowed to change through out the growing process who doesnt have a preconcieve contract so to speak, but has the lines drawn as to whats acceptable and what isnt. They also have the right to say no when ever they choose to due to being uncomfortable or having fears of a certian activity.

rubberpet -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 10:12:48 PM)
To me, being a submissive is what I am naturally because I am submissive. I didn't become a slave until I became owned. That's just me, though...

Daddysredhead -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 10:24:24 PM)
When Daddy and I had our first discussion like this about 4 or 5 years ago, He defined the difference as follows (but it's really subject to one's personal interpretation): submissive - the submissive partner defines the limits slave - the dominant partner defines the limits (It follows along the lines of Stella's reply re: control.)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: whats the difference? (6/21/2008 11:27:27 PM)
Take your pick. Just remember that no matter what you distinguish yourself as, several people will always be more than willing to tell you how wrong you are. It's all about what works for you. http://www.collarchat.com/m_586226/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#586267 Curious, sub v slave? http://www.collarchat.com/m_515303/mpage_1/key_slave/tm.htm#515333 What is the difference? http://www.collarchat.com/m_308296/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#309867 sub or slave? http://www.collarchat.com/m_342405/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#342794 ~slave vs sub~ http://www.collarchat.com/m_410567/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#410982 slave or sub http://www.collarchat.com/m_497775/mpage_1/key_submissive%252Cslave/tm.htm#497977 I'm new to this but... http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893 Difference bet/submission and slave? http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767 slub question http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512 difference between slave and submissive http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062 definition of "slave" What's the difference between slaves and submissives? Submissive or slave? Slaves versus submissive Submissive or slave? (2) Submissive vs slave (2)

MasterHermes -> RE: whats the difference? (6/22/2008 5:20:40 AM)
I do not see any reason to duplicate the same post , so please follow the link for reading it. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1906897/mpage_7/key_/tm.htm#1950409 Hermes

OsideGirl -> RE: whats the difference? (6/22/2008 9:19:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b I was told that a submissive has limits, a slave hasn't, so I guess it's down to how much control each person in the relationship has over the other. Everyone has limits. End of story. I'm submissive who lives by Master's limits...because our limits are compatible. So, using that as a defining criteria doesn't work. quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool I personally dont think the term "slave" exists in this lifestyle. Slavery is and always will in my mind be something thats non consentual. I believe that there are many submissives that are deeply submissive to the point of being very slave like. But as long as their relationship is based on consent, I think its very deep submission that is slave like in nature, but not actual slavery. This is my view as well. I ended up with a bad taste in my mouth about the word "slave" after the local authorities busted up a prostition situation where girls aged 10-15 had been taken from Mexico, held against their will and sold to the local migrant workers under a bridge. My life isn't anything like the misery they've suffered, so I prefer not to label my life with the same word.

MistressSybella -> RE: whats the difference? (6/22/2008 12:08:58 PM)
If in doubt, use "submissive." That term covers the whole spectrum. Where you fall in degrees of submissiveness is a different story. I'm with stella on this. They are NOT interchangeable terms. A submissive has free will, and a slave has given up or signed away that right. Miss 'Bella ServeMeWell

AquaticSub -> RE: whats the difference? (6/22/2008 12:18:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hallieB Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful. My opinion is that there isn't one. Your slave could be what I consider a submissive because she still owns her car. My submissive could be what you consider a slave because she has to ask for permission to use the bathroom.

CelticPrince -> RE: whats the difference? (6/22/2008 12:21:09 PM)
quote: Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful. hallie, LA is the resource but all have good input. CP

pinkieplum -> RE: whats the difference? (6/23/2008 3:00:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hallieB Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful. You have been collared. Now you need concern yourself only with how the T/two of Y/you view things. You've already found 'your place in this lifestyle' -- it's at His side. BTW, disovering D/s and accepting a collar all within three months seems a bit fast. i wish you every happiness. pinkieplum

came4U -> RE: whats the difference? (6/23/2008 3:19:27 AM)
quote: My opinion is that there isn't one. Your slave could be what I consider a submissive because she still owns her car. My submissive could be what you consider a slave because she has to ask for permission to use the bathroom. good analogy aquaticsub. We all have different conceptions on what is sub and what is slave.

metalmiss -> RE: whats the difference? (6/23/2008 7:19:27 AM)
As this is a very common question, if you use the search feature at the top right of the page you will find plenty of threads like this, with lots of responses which will help you to answer your question. My perception of the difference between a submissive and a slave is: As a slave myself, i have given myself completely to my Master's will 100% in all that i am & all areas of my life.. Not just play. i have no limits & i have given up my right to them, i live within His. i am encouraged to give my thoughts, opinions and ideas about anything concerned with my life, but this is just information that i provide to Him, which He takes into consideration when making His decisions. Whatever i am doing i am responsible for my own actions, and any minor decisions i make outside of home are accountable to Him at all times. A slave is property and gives up all rights, except the right to withdraw consent and walk away.. Simply because without that there can be no consent in the first place. With a submissive, the relationship is formed from compromise and negotiation between her and her Dominant. she will only hand over control to the Dominant in the areas of her life in which she feels comfortable doing so. They often reserve the right to make decisions for themselves and often the control that is taken is only partial, not all encompassing within her life, in my experience mostly restricted to the bedroom. A submissive will also most commonly impose her own limits on play dependant on what she finds she enjoys. This is just my opinion, neither is better or worse than the other.. Everybody has a different way of doing things.. What works for one will not work for everybody. However you choose to define yourself, this girl wishes you well on your journey x

Dnomyar -> RE: whats the difference? (6/23/2008 7:24:43 AM)
I won't beat around the bush like the others here are doing. You are a Slave. Deal with it.

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