whats the difference?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

whats the difference?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> whats the difference?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 6:06:09 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 6:14:53 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

There is so much on this one, just do a search in the forums and you will find tons of info.

Mike

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 6:16:13 PM

ToOwnATrueSlave

Posts: 262
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline

almost everything you will find will tell you "call yourself what makes you feel the happiest" sub/slave its all amater of perspective.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 6:21:58 PM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

I classify myself as a submissive, but when trust is built I naturally give all of me to my owner thus becoming his slave. Yet, consider myself a dominant towards other women.

Don't get so caught up in trying to fit into a label that you allow the label to define you instead of you defining it, regardless of weather you consider yourself a submissive or slave you aim to please your one and that your true to yourself. Those are the important thing in my opinion.

Blessed be,

Nika

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 6/21/2008 6:23:41 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to ToOwnATrueSlave)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 6:36:08 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB
I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive.

The only difference is what you make it. It's all about what your prefer. The way I live life many would call me a slave, but I prefer to called a submissive.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 9:22:32 PM

dragon2760

Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline

Been here, asked that. I do though have to agree with the last three post that you do have to define that for yourself. So take everything you read with a grain of salt and determine what works best for you.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 9:45:13 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I was told that a submissive has limits, a slave hasn't, so I guess it's down to how much control each person in the relationship has over the other. But you know that relationship you're forming is unique in itself, so I guess it's down to how you choose to define yourself and your role and how you wish to be perceived. As for how you will be perceived by others, well, that's for them to work out.

We're dealing with abstract concepts here, as opposed to something concrete. If I describe myself as a donkey, you would probably think I'm being an ass and laugh at me. If I describe myself as a submissive, you would be more inclined to take me at face value.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 10:11:04 PM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I personally dont think the term "slave" exists in this lifestyle. Slavery is and always will in my mind be something thats non consentual. I believe that there are many submissives that are deeply submissive to the point of being very slave like. But as long as their relationship is based on consent, I think its very deep submission that is slave like in nature, but not actual slavery.

But as I view it if I were to believe consentual slavery existed
Slave is one who drew up a contract with certian unbreakable limits (Ie no harm no abuse things against ToS) And after signing that with a certian time constraint (people do change so maybe once every 6 months to a year) They follow what they agreed to do during the time of their contract. Ie if you didnt let your owner know you couldnt be with a woman no matter what and didnt put it as a limit and he faced you with that challenge and denied your request to add it to the limits you follow through. You have the right to say No in such a situation to only things listed on that contract.

A submissive is ones with limits that are allowed to change through out the growing process who doesnt have a preconcieve contract so to speak, but has the lines drawn as to whats acceptable and what isnt. They also have the right to say no when ever they choose to due to being uncomfortable or having fears of a certian activity.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to stella41b)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 10:12:48 PM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

To me, being a submissive is what I am naturally because I am submissive. I didn't become a slave until I became owned. That's just me, though...

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to stella41b)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 10:24:24 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

When Daddy and I had our first discussion like this about 4 or 5 years ago, He defined the difference as follows (but it's really subject to one's personal interpretation):

submissive - the submissive partner defines the limits
slave - the dominant partner defines the limits

(It follows along the lines of Stella's reply re: control.)

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to rubberpet)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: whats the difference? - 6/21/2008 11:27:27 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: whats the difference? - 6/22/2008 5:20:40 AM

MasterHermes

Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

I do not see any reason to duplicate the same post , so please follow the link for reading it.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1906897/mpage_7/key_/tm.htm#1950409

Hermes

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: whats the difference? - 6/22/2008 9:19:58 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I was told that a submissive has limits, a slave hasn't, so I guess it's down to how much control each person in the relationship has over the other.

Everyone has limits. End of story. I'm submissive who lives by Master's limits...because our limits are compatible. So, using that as a defining criteria doesn't work.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

I personally dont think the term "slave" exists in this lifestyle. Slavery is and always will in my mind be something thats non consentual. I believe that there are many submissives that are deeply submissive to the point of being very slave like. But as long as their relationship is based on consent, I think its very deep submission that is slave like in nature, but not actual slavery.

This is my view as well.

I ended up with a bad taste in my mouth about the word "slave" after the local authorities busted up a prostition situation where girls aged 10-15 had been taken from Mexico, held against their will and sold to the local migrant workers under a bridge. My life isn't anything like the misery they've suffered, so I prefer not to label my life with the same word.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to stella41b)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: whats the difference? - 6/22/2008 12:08:58 PM

MistressSybella

Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

If in doubt, use "submissive." That term covers the whole spectrum. Where you fall in degrees of submissiveness is a different story.

I'm with stella on this. They are NOT interchangeable terms. A submissive has free will, and a slave has given up or signed away that right.

Miss 'Bella
ServeMeWell

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: whats the difference? - 6/22/2008 12:18:08 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful.

My opinion is that there isn't one. Your slave could be what I consider a submissive because she still owns her car. My submissive could be what you consider a slave because she has to ask for permission to use the bathroom.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: whats the difference? - 6/22/2008 12:21:09 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful.

hallie,

LA is the resource but all have good input.

CP

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: whats the difference? - 6/23/2008 3:00:57 AM

pinkieplum

Posts: 84
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

Hello everyone. It has been about 3 months since I was introduced to this lifestyle and I am researching the difference between a slave and a submissive. I am trying to distinguish my place in this lifestyle, and your opinions would be most helpful.

You have been collared. Now you need concern yourself only with how the T/two of Y/you view things. You've already found 'your place in this lifestyle' -- it's at His side.

BTW, disovering D/s and accepting a collar all within three months seems a bit fast.

i wish you every happiness.

pinkieplum

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: whats the difference? - 6/23/2008 3:19:27 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

My opinion is that there isn't one. Your slave could be what I consider a submissive because she still owns her car. My submissive could be what you consider a slave because she has to ask for permission to use the bathroom.

good analogy aquaticsub.

We all have different conceptions on what is sub and what is slave.

(in reply to pinkieplum)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: whats the difference? - 6/23/2008 7:19:27 AM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

As this is a very common question, if you use the search feature at the top right of the page you will find plenty of threads like this, with lots of responses which will help you to answer your question.

My perception of the difference between a submissive and a slave is:

As a slave myself, i have given myself completely to my Master's will 100% in all that i am & all areas of my life.. Not just play. i have no limits & i have given up my right to them, i live within His.
i am encouraged to give my thoughts, opinions and ideas about anything concerned with my life, but this is just information that i provide to Him, which He takes into consideration when making His decisions.
Whatever i am doing i am responsible for my own actions, and any minor decisions i make outside of home are accountable to Him at all times.
A slave is property and gives up all rights, except the right to withdraw consent and walk away.. Simply because without that there can be no consent in the first place.

With a submissive, the relationship is formed from compromise and negotiation between her and her Dominant. she will only hand over control to the Dominant in the areas of her life in which she feels comfortable doing so.
They often reserve the right to make decisions for themselves and often the control that is taken is only partial, not all encompassing within her life, in my experience mostly restricted to the bedroom. A submissive will also most commonly impose her own limits on play dependant on what she finds she enjoys.

This is just my opinion, neither is better or worse than the other.. Everybody has a different way of doing things.. What works for one will not work for everybody. However you choose to define yourself, this girl wishes you well on your journey x

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to hallieB)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: whats the difference? - 6/23/2008 7:24:43 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I won't beat around the bush like the others here are doing. You are a Slave. Deal with it.

(in reply to metalmiss)

Profile

Post #: 20