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Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/4/2007 8:30:57 PM   
firmobeisance


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Found this place through Google, I can't imagine what search terms I used. At least it has gotten me off CL, for now. About all I know is that I am submissive, at least that's what I believe myself to be. I never really considered slavery, except from a cultural view, and I'm kind of a socialist. I have seen the term "collared sub" and "collared slave" depicted as if there is a difference that is fundamental. All I know is that I get kind of an electric thrill when I think about a collar. It would be really awesome if somebody just neatly typed up all the possible answers for all the possible questions for me. 
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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/4/2007 8:35:13 PM   
DiurnalVampire


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From: Nashville, TN
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Most of them are already neatly typed up.  Read through the forums, and you should get a good idea.
AS to collared subs/slaves as opposed to any others, they are the ones who are commited to an Owner. My collared slave Angel is mine and mine alone. My other sub is not yet collared since our relationship hasnt made it to that point yet. Hope that clears things up

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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VampiresLair

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/4/2007 8:36:52 PM   
adoracat


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as best as i can tell it.... (and i am sure LA will be here soon enough with a list of links! :) )

a collared sub/slave is one who is in a relationship with a Dominant/Master/Mistress and has been Claimed by that person as their own.

example:  i am a collared sub...slave according to Sir.  he's actually given me a leather collar that i wear when we're together (and as much as possible when we're apart), and a silver bracelet engraved with his pet name for me that i wear always except to clean it.  i am His Property.  i belong to him always, yet i'm not always with him. 

kitten, who has finally gotten a good grip on the abandonment issues and seems to have them well boxed in at the moment

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/4/2007 8:42:22 PM   
firmobeisance


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OK, apparently ther is a difference between a "collared sub" and a "collared slave", is that not the case? Overall is see very little distinction between sub and slave, perhaps someone can advise where to direct my vision so as to elucidate the difference between the two.

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/4/2007 10:26:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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http://www.collarchat.com/m_586226/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#586267
Curious, sub v slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_515303/mpage_1/key_slave/tm.htm#515333
What is the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_308296/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#309867
sub or slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_342405/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#342794
~slave vs sub~

http://www.collarchat.com/m_410567/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#410982
slave or sub

http://www.collarchat.com/m_497775/mpage_1/key_submissive%252Cslave/tm.htm#497977
I'm new to this but...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893
Difference bet/submission and slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767
slub question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512
difference between slave and submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062
definition of "slave"

What's the difference between slaves and submissives?

Submissive or slave?

Slaves versus submissive

Submissive or slave? (2)

Submissive vs slave (2)



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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/4/2007 10:28:30 PM   
adoracat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: firmobeisance

OK, apparently ther is a difference between a "collared sub" and a "collared slave", is that not the case? Overall is see very little distinction between sub and slave, perhaps someone can advise where to direct my vision so as to elucidate the difference between the two.


the collaring is the same.  submissive and slave, you can get into a world of argument over.  *smiles*

all slaves are submissives, not all submissives are slaves is the way i see it, but i'm sure that there will be others who disagree completely with me.  slaves seem to have a deeper level of commitment to service as far as i see it.  as i said, Sir calls me slave, and who am i to argue?

Sir sent me this when we were just begining....

The 9 Levels Of Submission
The following isn't intended as a rigid classification. It was written by Diane Vera and published in The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual, edited by Pat Califia, from Lace/Alyson Press, Boston, 1988, reissued 1990 (still in print).Within the S/M subculture, different people use the words "submissive and slave" to mean many different things. When submissives say "I want to be your slave," sometimes they mean only that they want to be tied up and whipped. Many professional dominants routinely refer to their (usually _not_ very genuinely submissive clients) as "slaves." At the other extreme, there are people who want to be full-time personal servants, and who truly want to exist solely for their Dom(me)'s use, pleasure and convenience. And there are many shades in between these two extremes.

1.THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST.Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms and for the masochist's own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one's own bodily sensatons rather than by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).

2.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Not into even playing "slave," but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.

3.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being "used" to gratify partner's sadism; may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).

4.TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsbility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her/his own direct/pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).

5.TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by dominant-but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May/may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being the object of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.

6.UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE. Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have long-term relationship with one's Mistress, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when she will serve.

7.PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE. Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant's property at all times. Wants to obey and please dom(me) in all aspects of life-practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but Dom(me) has first pick of the slave's free time.

8.FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE. Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/himself as existing solely for the Dom(me)'s pleasure/well being. Slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially of the slave is male. Within the S/M world, a full time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude carefully, with more awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.

9.CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS. A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom(me), with no limits at all. I've met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases I have reason to doubt the claim.

Copyright 1984 and 1988, Diane Vera

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 1:15:58 AM   
firmobeisance


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Thank you, DiurnalVampire, you are kind to offer.
Adoracat, as new as I am I have already seen these 9 levels and even the 10 version. I am glad to see your post includes credit.  Thank you for your help, I think I have my answer.
LuckyAlbatross, it is clear you are motivated, I respect your role here, as one of probably millions, I thank you. I appreciate your bête noire to the term "subbie". Personally, I enjoy noticing all the innocent looking acronyms that get tossed about.
I am currently of the belief that the whole lifestyle basically arises from a fairly fixed paradigm, much like Catholicism or necromancy. Within this paradigm, the terms sub and slave are still being defined.

< Message edited by firmobeisance -- 6/5/2007 1:17:19 AM >

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 3:00:20 AM   
adoracat


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i wouldnt ever quote something without credit if i could help it, those arent my words, you know?  :)

"I am currently of the belief that the whole lifestyle basically arises from a fairly fixed paradigm, much like Catholicism or necromancy. Within this paradigm, the terms sub and slave are still being defined. "

i'd agree with that assessment, yes.  one Dominates, one submits.  you are who you are on either side of the coin...or sometimes both on occasion if you identify as switch.

i know personally that (true to my words to Sir when we were first talking) once i was sure of myself, i settled down and was happy.  it just took me a while to be *sure* of where i was.

kitten, who is happy except for insomnia tonigh :)

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 5:21:59 AM   
firmobeisance


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I hope you found rest. It is difficult for me to sleep as well, just this past evening I have suspended old habits at the suggestion of one I might call Mistress. For 20 years you couldn't pry the bong from my fingers, last night I dropped it like a rock. I'm scared.

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 7:17:53 AM   
MasterFireMaam


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In the end, only you can decide what the difference is between a sub and a slave for yourself as well as the significant of a collar. Collars can be very important symbolically...or not. Once you decide what they mean to you, then look for someone who matches it. That way, you won't find someone who thinks a collar is a nice dress accessory when you feel it's likened to marriage...or vice versa.

Master Fire


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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 8:07:50 AM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: firmobeisance

OK, apparently ther is a difference between a "collared sub" and a "collared slave", is that not the case? Overall is see very little distinction between sub and slave, perhaps someone can advise where to direct my vision so as to elucidate the difference between the two.


From my perspective, the difference lies in the individual and how they personally define slave and sub. What is important is how you define each label which makes sense to yourself and how it applies to you. I'd suggest to meet others with similar interests, read, ask questions etc. The more knowledge you gain the more you will grow and better use what applies for you and leave the rest behind.

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 8:22:30 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: firmobeisance

OK, apparently ther is a difference between a "collared sub" and a "collared slave", is that not the case? Overall is see very little distinction between sub and slave, perhaps someone can advise where to direct my vision so as to elucidate the difference between the two.


Only according to some is there a difference. I don't see a difference as there are subs who live by stricter rules then some slaves and some slaves who live by looser ones. It seems to depend entirely on the relationship, the dynamic desired and what the dominant/master/mistress/grand poobah wants to call them.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/5/2007 8:31:03 AM   
Indemnis


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quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat



slaves seem to have a deeper level of commitment to service as far as i see it. 



Is it commitment to *service* one should really have?  I am a submissive, and my commitments are to my *owner*. 

As to the difference between collared slaves/submissives, that also doesn't seem to me to be the issue.. the symbolism of the collar remains the same IMO... it's the differences between the people who wear/give them that is I think what you are trying to figure.. and LA as always has all the answers.  <grins>

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/6/2007 6:20:45 PM   
Celeste43


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There is no real line between slave and sub. There are subs who give over more control than certain slaves do. I know a woman who refers to herself as a dominant slave. Her husband/master of twenty some years concurs.

I have an aversion to the term slave but I submit to one so I call myself a collared sub, although my collar is actually a necklace. I've been with him four years. There are online slaves who announce themselves collared after two nights of chat. I think my relationship is a lot deeper than theirs but they might disagree because they have a slaveheart or a slavebelly and I don't claim such a thing.

There is no board of certification here to test you and hand you a signed diploma.

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/6/2007 11:23:57 PM   
adoracat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: firmobeisance

I hope you found rest. It is difficult for me to sleep as well, just this past evening I have suspended old habits at the suggestion of one I might call Mistress. For 20 years you couldn't pry the bong from my fingers, last night I dropped it like a rock. I'm scared.


isnt it amazing what you find you can do when properly motivated?  fear, want, love, desire for acceptance, all of these can motivate a person SO well.

no, i dont sleep still.  but thank you for wishing me so.  :)

kitten, who has insomnia as a hated enemy, on the other hand, Sir is a night owl and i get to talk to him.

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/7/2007 12:30:48 AM   
firmobeisance


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i am pretty much into the restless thing these days too, having just finished my first 2 1/2 hour nap. Can't eat either, food makes me gag, ah the joys of cleaning up. For all my effort i have earned a 3 hour visit in a public setting on Saturday and i am running out of addictions...

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/7/2007 4:24:10 AM   
MadRabbit


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Its what all us roleplayers use to pretend we have real relationships

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/7/2007 8:44:35 AM   
santalia


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Greetings

The way i learned it, a sub wishes to serve, and her service may be more or less strict than a slave's, but she is only on the level where she wishes to serve. A slave, while she wants it, it goes much deeper and is a need...she needs to serve a Master (or..he needs to serve a Mistress...goes both ways, just telling it from my experience as i'm a she who has a Master).

Some subs have no limits. Some slaves have many limits. Some subs go into it thinking they want but don't necessarily need to serve, but learn later that they do need to serve and realize they're more slave than sub. Some slaves go into it thinking they need to serve but realize it isn't as much a need for them but a strong desire at best, and realize they're more sub than slave. There's nothing wrong with that at all, it's just who they are.

i know some might disagree with me on this, but it is what i was taught and i believe it to be true.

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}

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RE: Differences Between collared sub/slaves - 6/7/2007 10:27:12 AM   
sierraflowr


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i agree with whats been said. i'm just finding the ones that seem to want you collared, in a sense, before you begin. i mean a 'collar of consideration' i see as different. but thats just me. Thats just saying "hey we're more serious than just talking and will go from there" , but looked at as collared before really knowing someone IE online is nutso.
I'm finding the ones that wish to see you as property to begin with. without the " i honor you as something special and sweet and i like you as you. well i think that means a lot anyway. i don't wish to be 'property' with someone i don't know gives a hoot about ME, personally. any way.
Everyone defines sub/slave in different ways. just ask who you're with defines it the same way you do.



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O};-
When I let go of who I am,
I become who I might be.
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