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amayos -> RE: What's love got to do with it? (10/25/2006 10:12:57 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
Love came up in my last post. Why does a Dom/sub relationship have to be based on love. I think that is why you see a lot of velcro collars. One person expects the other to fall in love with them.
I think you are touching upon that tendency in many to adopt traditional romantic expectations within BDSM, a belief that personal subjugation is nothing more than an eccentric rollercoaster for accomplishing the familiar mainstream goal of romance. The "Master and slave" dynamic so often is a means to a hoped for end, which skirts far outside the boundaries of what the roles literally contain.
Having said that, I believe a selfless, all-consuming love is an important force in the consensual slave. Without a love for her Master, she must then be formed through a more violent and fearful conditioning, which by itself is ultimately not as reliable. The consensual slave must be captured through his or her desire, need and love. Combining this with a deep conditioning—cruel or kind—makes the white-hot sticky glue that binds. But this is not to say that such love needs to be reciprocated, as traditionally believed. A true symbiotic love can form between Master and slave, but it is not necessary. I suggest that the slave love his or her keeper, nonetheless. Without that emotional engine, there is less to back up a consensual slave's devotion. With enough time, continued reinforcement through routine and silent steamroller cruelty, a mind can be so forged that it will obey by habit alone, even if its love were to eventually wither. I find love an important element, however, and I prefer keeping it alive in a slave.
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