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how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 8:50:13 AM

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Dear male submissives,     MEN OFTEN REQUEST HUMILIATION.
Please explain ways that you've enjoyed being humiliated by a Mistress, explain the effect it has on you (what it does for you).  Offer your advice to a female switch who has difficulties letting go in this area. Include techniques that are effective. I think that humiliation needs to be tempered with love.  I fear releasing too much anger or not enough and I don't want to belittle in hurtful or unproductive ways.
Yours Truly, MissdeemarK

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 8:53:47 AM

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_354018/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#354196
humiliation???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412944/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#413037
what is good humiliation to you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_426015/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#426025
humiliation vs degradation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_489256/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#489324
humiliation and vulnerability

http://www.collarchat.com/m_310209/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#310223
Humiliation- verbal and physical

http://www.collarchat.com/m_266448/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#266532
humiliation ideas

Slaves on display via webcam?

Fat Cow? Verbal humiliation (rehashed)

Humiliation and Degradation

Erotic Humiliation

Female Humiliation- in the scene

Asking for humiliation

Favorite Forms of humiliation

Humiliation

Humliation Play

Favorite forms of humiliation

Erotic Humiliation and Objectification

Why such problems with humiliation?

Fun ideas for humiliation

Humiliation (2)

Verbal Humiliation

Help with humiliation please!

Your thoughts on humiliation please

Questions about humiliation

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(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 9:26:51 AM

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Make him suck someone else's come out of his wife's pussy.

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 9:44:05 AM

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Make him do something he doesnt want to such as outside humiliation maybe try abandonment like leave him naked beside a back road and let him get home or drive a couple miles away and wait it works

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 11:36:56 AM

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deleted because I can...

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 12/2/2006 12:03:27 PM >

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RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 1:48:56 PM

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I believe it would depend on the individual and situation. Just read some of the previous posts provided for by LuckyAlbatross,(I have learned so much from the info she provides, for which I am very grateful.), and what one woman found humiliating, did not bother another. Having a foot/shoe fetish, for me foot worship is very humiliating, even though I actually desire it. There are far worse things to be subjected to, forced bi, as already mentioned, cuckolding, toilet slavery, etc. Most of those things are probably limits for the majority of us. But I am sure for the right Dominant, many sub/slaves would relinquish some of their limits.I would think it would something she/he knew the sub did not like.If I am so lucky to surrender control to a Domina, I hope we would have discussed this before hand.Obviously she/he should enjoy or at least get something out of.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 1:53:45 PM

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Take him to victorias secret or fredericks of hollywood and buy several outfits in his size....

When ringing the up at the register..let the clerks know they are for him.

Better still...ask one of the salesgirls if she would recommend a corset in his size.

Even I would be intimidated/humiliated by that.

< Message edited by sissifytoserve -- 12/2/2006 1:55:23 PM >

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The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 2:59:38 PM

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Humiliation is dependent on reaction in a way that other BDSM activities are not, as I'm sure many of the threads LA linked to indicated. While if I cut you, you will bleed, and if I tickle you, you will laugh, regardless of whether you are circumcised, if I spit on you, you will not, necessarily, feel embarrassed. Put differently, caning is about hitting people with canes, and regardless of whether the person being caned says "Ow," or feels pain, caning has happened. Humiliation, however, is defined by reactions. A bottom might respond to a top's requests to behave like a dog or to drink urine from a bowl on the floor; a top may deride a bottom as ugly, stupid, and incompetent, but humiliation has not happened unless the person being humiliated feels humiliated. Talk to your bottom and get him to tell you what sort of humiliation he finds erotic. Also, observe him. If he is insecure about something, then he would likely be embarrassed if you drew attention to that. Whether those feelings of humiliation would be *erotic* is a quite different matter.

Incidentally, Missdeemark, I noticed that you refer to releasing anger as part of humiliation. If expressing anger toward your partner makes you feel uncomfortable, you may be able to express other emotions and still do effective humiliation. Pity has worked well for me.

Monica

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 3:01:57 PM

tade

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Make him suck someone else's come out of his wife's pussy.

That one'd do it...

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(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 5:10:06 PM

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Yes, I have a hard time releasing anger, as I'm just not that angry most of the time. But I love joking around with a sub, pointing out, now what would your friends think, if they saw you like this? Kidding around. Laughing a lot. Teasing. A lot of fun, subtle, sensual humiliation can go on that way.

(in reply to tade)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 6:54:43 PM

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Do not feel obligated to do something just because others do. If it's not your thing....don't. It will show in your energy.

Doing EVERYTHING just because it's "done', does not make the Domme effective. Doing what you LIKE and feel comfortable with will be the ticket.

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 8:21:29 PM

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Humiliation is a very personal and individual thing. There are things which would not embarass me in the least that would absolutely horrify others and cause them to turn completely red with shame. To figure these things out you'll need to get inside your sub's head and figure out where he's at, how his mind works, and what his triggers are. Having him talk with you honestly or perhaps even making a game of it by interrogating him to reach the point where he must admit the things he fears would humiliate him are the only ways I know of to discover these things.

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/2/2006 10:53:36 PM

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quote:

Dear male submissives, MEN OFTEN REQUEST HUMILIATION.
Please explain ways that you've enjoyed being humiliated by a Mistress, explain the effect it has on you (what it does for you). Offer your advice to a female switch who has difficulties letting go in this area. Include techniques that are effective. I think that humiliation needs to be tempered with love. I fear releasing too much anger or not enough and I don't want to belittle in hurtful or unproductive ways.
Yours Truly, MissdeemarK

quote:

ORIGINAL: missdeemark

First of all, I'd like to commend you for thinking this through and trying to avoid the potential bad effects of humiliation, the effect it could have on your sub(s) and your relationship with them. Also, thanks for giving it a try, since many subs do crave and/or enjoy it. That said, I agree you should stop if it is not for you but I admire your willingness to give it a go.

I agree with most of what the others have written, especially getting to know the person and what does or does not work for them. I especially agree with the poster who suggested doing it, at least initially, in a light-hearted way. It makes it seem more fun and perhaps even more humiliating if the Domme is actually enjoying herself while she humiliates you, though that may temper the blow in a way as well, at least you are amusing the Mistress on some level and not wasting her time. For me at least it certainly is better than having a Mistress who seems angry or pissed off at you.

Regarding your point about not releasing enough or going farther I have occasionally found where someone did not actually go far enough to achieve some threshold that took it from saying bad things to making it feel "good" and humiliating, I 'm not sure how to suggest getting around that, I'm still trying to sort that out myself, other than trying things and communicating with the sub afterward to see what worked and adjusting going forward.

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/3/2006 11:55:40 AM

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There's no doubt there are some kinds of humiliation that I don't think are good for a sub's self-esteem and should be avoided. There are some kinds of play in private that for me have an element of humilation to them, but that is probably not the primary driver, but none the less is probably part of the turn-on to them.

In general I have a problem with public humiliation for another reason in that it by necessity involves the participation of 3rd parties either actively or indirectly as witnesses to your scene without their consent. I do not believe in non-consential play. What is done in private with consential players is another matter. This is something I hope the OP will take into consideration when considering requests from any subs for this kind of play.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to SwPuno)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/3/2006 4:05:35 PM

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To me, the base root of my submission is humiliation. The mere act of submission is huliliating. It is the strongest of the sensations that Mistress can employ. Sure, the paddle hurts my ass. And my balls can be sore after they are slapped a few times. But when i lay in bed thinking back about my visits it is the lingering impact of humiliation that stays with me. And keeps me coming back.

The act of voluntarily bending over and allowing Mistress to paddle my ass is in fact humiliating. And i get off on that aspect more than the sensation on my skin. It is humiliating to go over and clean Her house naked, it is humiliating to be forced to jerk off for Her, and it is humiliating to shave my pubic hair for Her.

But there are things She does that adds to the humiliation. She points out just how small my dick is. She makes me lick my own cum. She shares my confessions and fantasies with others. She spanks me when others are home. And most humiliating of all, She makes me suck dick. That is the ultimate humiliation, bar none. Lowering and debasing me to that level strikes harder than any paddle ever could, and it is delicious in its evilness.

If You want to humiliate Your sub, start with just pointing out what You are doing in the scene. Actually verbalising just what he is allowing You to do to him may be a good start. For any self-respecting man, just submitting to that is a little bruising to the ego.

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/3/2006 4:35:23 PM

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Thank you Monica, your comments were quite helpful. I don't know why I thought humiliation was like anger, or attack. It can be done with pity!

(in reply to mp072004)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/3/2006 4:40:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missdeemark

Dear male submissives,     MEN OFTEN REQUEST HUMILIATION.
Please explain ways that you've enjoyed being humiliated by a Mistress, explain the effect it has on you (what it does for you).  Offer your advice to a female switch who has difficulties letting go in this area. Include techniques that are effective. I think that humiliation needs to be tempered with love.  I fear releasing too much anger or not enough and I don't want to belittle in hurtful or unproductive ways.
Yours Truly, MissdeemarK

Well, here's the deal;

1) It's a good thing.

2) It trips our switches.

3) We like it.

4) Of course.

5) Never fear.

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to missdeemark)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/3/2006 4:45:16 PM

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I like the suggestion of light-hearted teasing, joking, laughing, and having fun with the humiliation game. Everything goes down easier with a smile. Thanks!

(in reply to jdtallfem)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/3/2006 4:53:22 PM

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To LuckyAlbatros: Wow. A thousand thank yous!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: how to humiliate a man - 12/7/2006 11:14:57 AM

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I suspect it is simply a part of that desire to be controlled that drives the interest in humiliation. Having someone else control your ability to perform or to refrain from certain things is the peak of surrender. Isn't that what it's all about?

(in reply to missdeemark)

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