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Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:36:44 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2006
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Master and I are in a long distance relationship which means I need to take the punishment in my own hands. I don't seem to have the arm strength to paddle myself to where it actually hurts and my butt is too tough from previous impact play. Does anybody have any good self punishment ideas that won't require much strength or cost?

Thank you in advance

< Message edited by poisonedkandy -- 12/5/2006 9:47:55 AM >

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:39:07 AM

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poisonedkandy

Master and I are in a long distance relationship which means I need to take the punishment in my own hands. I don't seem to have the arm strength to paddle myself to where it actually hurts and my butt is tough too from previous impact play. Does anybody have any good self punishment ideas that won't require much strength or cost?

Thank you in advance

get some rice, put it on the floor in a corner, and kneel on it for several hours without moving

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:41:44 AM

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

get some rice, put it on the floor in a corner, and kneel on it for several hours without moving

ow ow OOOOW!!! that's worse than walking on legos (anyone with kids will understand)

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Kalira)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:49:21 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well the one that always works the best and is the easiest for the short term is for him to just cut off contact with you for awhile.

It's rarely a good method when it comes to building a strong relationship and program of behavior modification however.

Why are you worrying about ideas for punishment? That sort of thing should be extremely rare and decided only for the specific incident. There's lots of other things worth spending the energy towards.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_555442/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#555476
How do you cope?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_399208/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#399230
Long distance relationships...how do you all make them work and overcome the obstacles that arise?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_358232/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#358330
When the Master is away

http://www.collarchat.com/m_243191/mpage_2/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#243396
Online or Distance relationships

http://www.collarchat.com/m_5502/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#207957
Long Distance Relationships

http://www.collarchat.com/m_214831/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#214831
Long distance d/s

http://www.collarchat.com/m_210165/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#210165
Pleasing my master long distance

http://www.collarchat.com/m_131170/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#131170
In Between Visits

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124826/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#124826
LDR and sickness or death

http://www.collarchat.com/m_89834/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#89834
Long distance punishment ideas

http://www.collarchat.com/m_22973/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#22973
Long Distance Relationship (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_5502/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#5502
Long Distance Relationships (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3521/mpage_1/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#3521
Long Distance

http://www.collarchat.com/m_272610/mpage_1/key_LDR/tm.htm#272610
LDR D/s ideas

http://www.collarchat.com/m_108560/mpage_1/key_LDR/tm.htm#108560
Long Distance Relationships????

http://www.collarchat.com/m_611292/mpage_2/key_punishment/tm.htm#611778
Punishment is Deceptive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_597685/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#597689
Talking Vs Corporal Punishment

http://www.collarchat.com/m_572243/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#572280
Question for female subs on punishment

http://www.collarchat.com/m_18608/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#18608
Punishment and Discipline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_74162/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#74162
Training? Punishment?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_84734/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#84734
Punishment vs Play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_146151/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#146151
What is the difference between punishment and discipline?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_374557/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#374557
Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc, etc....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_523257/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#523257
Discipline & Punishment

http://www.collarchat.com/m_495126/mpage_1/key_punishment/tm.htm#495126
On punishment

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:52:19 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira
get some rice, put it on the floor in a corner, and kneel on it for several hours without moving

Thank you, that sounds like a very good punishment. I'll put that one in my mental punishment archives.

(in reply to Kalira)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:58:30 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Why are you worrying about ideas for punishment? That sort of thing should be extremely rare and decided only for the specific incident. There's lots of other things worth spending the energy towards.

Master asked me to choose a punishment for myself and the only thing I could come up with is burning myself with cigarettes. I felt that was way too extreme for what I did. I had forgotten to ask him permission to go out for my birthday. I've just started training and am very ignorant when it comes to the psychological aspects of BDSM.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 9:58:48 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poisonedkandy

Master and I are in a long distance relationship which means I need to take the punishment in my own hands. I don't seem to have the arm strength to paddle myself to where it actually hurts and my butt is too tough from previous impact play. Does anybody have any good self punishment ideas that won't require much strength or cost?

Thank you in advance

Instead of asking for punishment ideas, why not just concentrate your efforts on doing what you need to do to not need punishment?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 10:03:37 AM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poisonedkandy
Master asked me to choose a punishment for myself and the only thing I could come up with is burning myself with cigarettes. I felt that was way too extreme for what I did. I had forgotten to ask him permission to go out for my birthday. I've just started training and am very ignorant when it comes to the psychological aspects of BDSM.

Presumably, your master knows this. Why is he jumping straight to punishment on a first offense when things are new?

Anyway, I can probably guess why he's doing and what's going on myself and it won't matter.

Tell him that you're grounded for a month, no going out to socialize and no internet except to check email for one hour a day. The end.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 10:23:12 AM

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Move closer to each other or find a Master close to you... its allways best when its Real and you have less control.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 6:57:01 PM

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline

I am in a long distance relationship for now, but long time ago....in the early morning, i had just woke up and started to talk to Master...I had made a mistake and his way to punish me was to not let me go pee........you know first thing in the morning.

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 7:58:24 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline

Wow, that's gotta be uncomfortable!

(in reply to andreaC)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 8:05:50 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
...

Why are you worrying about ideas for punishment? That sort of thing should be extremely rare and decided only for the specific incident. There's lots of other things worth spending the energy towards.

And why are you pontificating on the subject? This One True Way stuff isn't like you.

We don't know in what sense she means the word punishment, nor how the punishment dynamic is applied in that relationship nor what meanings each of them find in the activity, its anticipation and its results.

What if, for instance, "punishment" is there mutual #1 kink? Should they nevertheless use it only rarely because of your "should"? I hope you wouldn't think so.

Even if you are on about a strictly behavior modification approach, that "specific incidents only" stuff is highly questionable, and I've seen no evidence that this is the all and only of what this couple seeks in the punishment dynamic.

I think it is a good idea for you to decide where your relationship energy is well spent and for others to decide where theirs is well spent.

As to the OP.

Lean over and slam one of 'em in a drawer.

The gadget drawer in the kitchen can be particularly nice.

There are uncountable ways. I expect that this thread will give you a nice sampling. Without knowing more about you and your partner and what punishment is about for you I wouldn't propose too much.

Are emotional and psychological punishments solicited as well as physical ones? What are your limits? Is he a sadist and are you a masochist? All these things and more will help determine which pages of the Big Book of Remote Punishment you might want to be reading from.

Best of luck with it and please don't pay much attention to the knuckleheads who will tell you that long-distance relationships can't work for you because they didn't have what it takes to make one work. Someone like that usualy shows up eventually on a thread like this.

As to L'Albatross ... let's let all the flowers bloom.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 8:26:04 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poisonedkand

Master asked me to choose a punishment for myself and the only thing I could come up with is burning myself with cigarettes. I felt that was way too extreme for what I did. I had forgotten to ask him permission to go out for my birthday. I've just started training and am very ignorant when it comes to the psychological aspects of BDSM.

Maybe I'm just a bad sub but it's a long-distance relationship over the internet, you forget to ask permission to go out on your birthday and the first thing that pops into your head is: Burn yourself with cigarettes?

My two cents: Long-distance means both of you have to accept some facts of life. One of those is that you aren't always going to be able to remember to ask permission for every little anal thing ahead of time. It is my opinion that the punishment, if there needs to be one in this case, only a mild scolding of "This displeased me. Do not do it again" would do well. Frankly, for me that hurts worse then any burn. I hope he didn't allow you to carry out that punishment.

To be helpful: Standing in a corner with one foot up and being forced to hold your balance for a length of time is also a good punishment. Being forced to remain in an painful stretching position is both effective and good for your body. Jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, running for a long period of time (just be careful of yourself). Deny yourself orgasms for a certain period of time.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 8:47:02 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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I'm happy to let the flowers bloom.

I just happen to think if you keep pouring water that has tons of bad chemicals in it, you're not going to end up with healthy flowers.

There ARE things that are needed for all relationships to bloom and there ARE things that are caustic to all relationships. Perhaps this is the one case in 1000 will be the one that breaks the rules and the odds- but I doubt it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 8:57:03 PM

Posts: 55
Joined: 8/30/2006
From: TN
Status: offline

i am also in a long distance relationship, not a cyber one but a LDR.
Just some suggestions:::
Write sentences..this one worked on me
If you have a webcam, im sure you could come up with ideas
Be honest with each other is far the most important
He could always ignore you for a certain amount of time
Just use ur imagination...get creative

You are right, ya cant paddle yourself but i know that when i haven't done what is asked of me by my Master, i feel bad enough on my own for it.

_____________________________

Slave Shalyna

Owned by MasterBat

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 10:03:24 PM

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings..~smiles~

Going with the flow that your Master asked this of you coupled with it being a new relationship..am going to take a positive route and say it's a method of discovering more about you in his own way.

Perhaps maybe to lessen the feel of you doing it to yourself or being the enforcer ..you might ask if you could make a "honest" list of 20 things that you'd really hate to endure aside from his displeasure in you..then present this list to him, and see if he would take those into consideration along with his own idea's, and then be the chooser instead of you.

Good Luck

Well Wishes

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 10:37:26 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm happy to let the flowers bloom.

I just happen to think if you keep pouring water that has tons of bad chemicals in it, you're not going to end up with healthy flowers.

There ARE things that are needed for all relationships to bloom and there ARE things that are caustic to all relationships. Perhaps this is the one case in 1000 will be the one that breaks the rules and the odds- but I doubt it.

"The Rules"

sigh.

[note to the OP: those "rules" LA is (uncharacteristically) talking about get talked about a lot but good luck getting a look at where they are written down; if you do find a set written down, good luck restraining your laughter while reading them]

LA, if you have data which show that any approach to punishment which varies significantly from yours is caustic in 999 out of 1000 cases, I'd love to see it.

In someone else's relationship, punishment might indeed be the water, and it might inded be toxic. You're right about that. In another relationship punishment might be the sunlight. Or it might be the breeze, etc. Can't one plant's allelopath be another plant's alleleotrope, as it were?

I mean any sort of interpersonal physical violence would be a deal-killer for scads and scads of non-kinky relationships. Should we generalize from that that any sort of hitting is caustic to relationships in general?

I get the impression that you kind of see punishment as the pruner, or something. That's fine of course, for you. But for someone else it may a the fertilizer the plant is hungry for in large and frequent doses.

Presuming that everyone--or everyone but some freakishly small percentage of the population--works just like you do in terms of something so potentially fraught with meaning strikes me as careless and potentially dangerous or unkind.

I've never been in a relationship in which punishment was conceived of and applied in the ways you consistently describe it, LA, and I've had and continue to have lovely, important and meaningful power exchange relationships of various kinds for quite a while now.

If even one such relationship is one in a thousand, then I guess I must be one in a million, or several thousand, anyway.

I'm just not sure that I and all of my partners over the years have been quite that special.

To the OP I'd like to point out that a certain slice of the submissive demographic seems to enjoy few things more than taking a newbie aside to tell her how awful and terrible and wicked and incompetent her dom is, how foolish she is to be with him, etc. About half of them do it blatantly. The rest typically employ the usual passive-aggressive bullshit tactics familiar, I'm sure, from elsewhere in your life. Everyone knows a few people like that, I think.

Maybe they tend to have had bad early experience themselves and can't stand the idea that someone else might have better fortune. I just don't know.

When you encounter someone who is willing to pass negative judgement on you, your dom or your relationship based on no more info than a brief internet post, please read them carefully. Consider that there may be some truth in what they say but notice what they are busy doing. Decide for yourself what you think of that kind of behavior. Consider the source before you put too much weight on their criticisms of you, your partner, and the way you two choose to lead your lives.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 11:07:21 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poisonedkandy

Master and I are in a long distance relationship which means I need to take the punishment in my own hands. I don't seem to have the arm strength to paddle myself to where it actually hurts and my butt is too tough from previous impact play. Does anybody have any good self punishment ideas that won't require much strength or cost?

Thank you in advance

I'm a firm believer in letting punishments fit the crime. Reading further, I see your 'crime' was failure to ask permission for something, so a punishment which is commensurate with that would be fitting.

First of all, ask yourself .. what is the lesson you want to learn? In this case, it's probably that you need to ask permission. When you fail to ask for permission, you are taking back the power which you have agreed to turn over to your dominant and making your own choices and decisions. That may or may not be allowed depending on the nature of previous negotiations but it sounds as if it is not allowed.

So, the second question.. how are you going to learn the lesson? Well, do you believe that burning yourself with a cigarette is going to teach you to ask permission? It will certainly hurt, probably scar and no doubt if you remember to look at it constantly, you won't forget why that scar is there, but .. do you 'need' such a forceful reminder to ask for permission in the future? This is a first offense and burning yourself with a cigarette is fairly extreme for a first offense. What is going to happen when you have a second offense or a third?

To me, when the crime is failure to ask permission, an appropriate punishment would be some form of denial. Denied access to the Internet, to going out with your friends for a certain period of time, no access to books or television.. whatever will give you time to reflect on 'why' you are being denied pleasures or activities which you enjoy.

Ask yourself this question as well. Why is it important for you to ask permission and then you can answer that question in a letter or journal entry during your prison term and present it to your dominant when you are released. I'd probably keep a copy of it as well, perhaps taped to my front door so that it was staring me right in the face before I walked out.. and that would be something to remind me that I need to ask 'before' I walk out that door if it's ok that I actually walk out that door to go have some fun with my girlfriends etc.

Good luck.. and behave!

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to poisonedkandy)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 11:42:51 PM

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline

I am one of those sickos that like to be punished. I don't really understand why, other than it seems to intensify the connection, and makes me feel safer and more secure. While I'd never misbehave on purpose in order to get punished, if I'm not punished when I've offended, I feel somewhat sad and neglected. I'm not talking severe punishment: sometimes, a 15 minute lecture about what I did wrong can be very centering.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Punishment ideas - 12/5/2006 11:51:28 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rapunzel2

I am one of those sickos that like to be punished. I don't really understand why, other than it seems to intensify the connection, and makes me feel safer and more secure. While I'd never misbehave on purpose in order to get punished, if I'm not punished when I've offended, I feel somewhat sad and neglected. I'm not talking severe punishment: sometimes, a 15 minute lecture about what I did wrong can be very centering.

Oh rapunzel, I certainly wouldn't call you a sicko for that! Many of us feel that punishment is cleansing so we don't beat ourselves up over whatever action we've taken that brings down punishment on our heads in the first place. If the punishment works, the lesson is learned, hopefully actions which required punishment won't be repeated and to me, that's a win and a way to grow.

There are also plenty of people who 'do' act out for the single purpose of being punished and while that's not my bag, it's certainly valid within any given relationships in which the partners determine that it's something they enjoy.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to rapunzel2)

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